some bitch ass shit YOU'VE done. your story
- Thread starter fillyacup
- Start date
well there was this one time i saw this dude walking through the parking lot at school when i was smoking in my car. he ended up walking on some black ice and he fell on his knees and dropped all his shit on the ground. but he couldnt get up he kept slipping like a baby deer on ice. the funniest shit i had seen in a long time.
so i opened my car door to go help him up cuz i felt kind of bad. but then i decided not to cuz dude looked kinda homo, so i said nevermind.
then he got up gathered his shit and walked like 10 steps and then BAM he slipps on another patch of black ice and and falls right on his back.
it didnt even look like a fall it looked like he jumped in the air straight onto his back, like somebody would do on a trampoline and bounce back up to thier feet, except he didnt he just flopped on the ground. i bust up laughing and the fool saw me laughing so i leaned over in my whip like i went to pick something up off the ground. haha...
then i see this fool start crying and do a hella fast ass power walk off to class hahahahaa faggot
so i opened my car door to go help him up cuz i felt kind of bad. but then i decided not to cuz dude looked kinda homo, so i said nevermind.
then he got up gathered his shit and walked like 10 steps and then BAM he slipps on another patch of black ice and and falls right on his back.
it didnt even look like a fall it looked like he jumped in the air straight onto his back, like somebody would do on a trampoline and bounce back up to thier feet, except he didnt he just flopped on the ground. i bust up laughing and the fool saw me laughing so i leaned over in my whip like i went to pick something up off the ground. haha...
then i see this fool start crying and do a hella fast ass power walk off to class hahahahaa faggot
^LOL
almost reminds me of when I was in summer school me and the homie are on our way up to the store right after class and this beezy from class sees us and starts trying to stunt in her car and baps her shit into this fucking delivery truck in front of her...LOL.....we had to stop at the corner to point & laugh
almost reminds me of when I was in summer school me and the homie are on our way up to the store right after class and this beezy from class sees us and starts trying to stunt in her car and baps her shit into this fucking delivery truck in front of her...LOL.....we had to stop at the corner to point & laugh
I remember me and my homies pissed in a mountain dew can and let some kid drink it. He said he wanted soda and we thought it was funny. That shit made me almost throw up because that kid really drank that shit and almost passed out. woops, our bad.
I used to throw eggs at some of the folks I didn't like in the apartments. Shit was 4th of july or something and I would be doing some army jungle tactical moves on these muthafuckas. Rolling on the ground and signaling someone to move in when it was only me and shit. Man I was a fuckin crazy kid back then...anyways i threw em and hit a few of them and I would just be chillin by my front door afterwards and they all come around my way and ask me if i seen anyone over here. I said nah man, i dont know. Haha. I had another egg in my hands....fucking wasted food...I'm ashamed of myself. O yeah, i hit one dude straight up in the face with it that's why they came running to my side. haha.
I shot a bb at a girl when i was about 8 years old. hit her in the chest and she went and snitched on me. but me playing so many cops and robbers back in the day i was skizzert!!
I had this homegirl who would call me bestfriend all the time and i would meet some of her boyfriends, well there was one that would be kicking it with me and her all the time and shit was cool. but dude didn't know she was always sucking my dick and fuckin me too. haha. until she told him and now they married with kids. hahaha
I fucked a really fat ugly ass bitch once, got her debit card, got some gas and food with it...went back the next day got some head and put her debit card back and never saw her again.
damn i'm fucked up! i'm changed now...hahaha
I used to throw eggs at some of the folks I didn't like in the apartments. Shit was 4th of july or something and I would be doing some army jungle tactical moves on these muthafuckas. Rolling on the ground and signaling someone to move in when it was only me and shit. Man I was a fuckin crazy kid back then...anyways i threw em and hit a few of them and I would just be chillin by my front door afterwards and they all come around my way and ask me if i seen anyone over here. I said nah man, i dont know. Haha. I had another egg in my hands....fucking wasted food...I'm ashamed of myself. O yeah, i hit one dude straight up in the face with it that's why they came running to my side. haha.
I shot a bb at a girl when i was about 8 years old. hit her in the chest and she went and snitched on me. but me playing so many cops and robbers back in the day i was skizzert!!
I had this homegirl who would call me bestfriend all the time and i would meet some of her boyfriends, well there was one that would be kicking it with me and her all the time and shit was cool. but dude didn't know she was always sucking my dick and fuckin me too. haha. until she told him and now they married with kids. hahaha
I fucked a really fat ugly ass bitch once, got her debit card, got some gas and food with it...went back the next day got some head and put her debit card back and never saw her again.
damn i'm fucked up! i'm changed now...hahaha
when i was in 8th grade i was spending the night at one of my boy's house and one of my other friends was staying over that night too. well my friend whose house we were at had to wake up hella early for some shit. and me and my other friend were making hella noise or something and dude whose house it was got hella mad and kept telling us to be quiet because he had to go to sleep. So we were just still being hella loud and this fool kept telling us to be quiet. dude who was trying to sleep was sleeping on his bed and one of us was on the floor and the other one was laying on the couch. well this shit went on and on until at one point dude who was trying to sleep tried to piss on us because we wouldn't be quiet. We didn't get hit though because we used one of his comforters as a shield but i was hella pissed that he even went there. so i set my internal alarm clock and woke up at like 4:30am with revenge on my mind. homie that tried to piss on us was dead asleep laying on his back with his mouth wide open. you know when you wake you be hella having to piss right atleast I do. So i straight pissed in homey's mouth and im not talking a little whimp piss this was like a powerful stream. So both of my friend's woke up and dude woke up while I was pissing in his mouth and tried to move but the powerful stream of piss wouldn't stop i mean i was basically pissing in his mouth and face because he was moving and my aim was on point. when i stopped pissing homey really fucking swung on me with a right hand but i dodged it. then he went to his living room to sleep and was hella mad. that shit was hella funny and everyone at school found out and was fucking with him.
yeah i went a lil overboard but me and homey are still friends to this day. back in these days though we did hella dumb shit though. One time this same cat's older brother's friend played me hella bad. We were all dumb ass high and his brother's friend offers me a cigarette. well it was a setup and the cigarette had a firecracker hidden in it and blew up in my fucking face. i didn't get mad though we were always playing jokes on eachother and none of us ever really got mad maybe just for like a minute.
flushed a kitten down the toilet when I was like 3 or 4
me and my dude used to go eat at this cafeteria that was ran by a blind dude. he worked the register and whenever we went up to pay, we'd have half the kitchen on our tray, but we'd tell the guy "coffee and donut" or "hot dog" and just pay for that.
used to manage a foot locker and for years had a scam called "running the option" each store was alloted a certain amount of loss per quarter, and since my store was in "an ethnic neighborhood" ours was damn near double the other stores. knowing this, it was get money time. I hired people that I knew and trusted and went to work. My clientelle at my store was usually baby mommas, school kids and hustlers so my deal was perfect for them. They could pay full price or they had the option to pay substancially less if they paid with cash. Even had the ups dude in on it. He'd say certain shipments were stolen from his truck or never even received. Ran the scheme for years until one young cat got overzealous and got busted. Dude got put in a room with the district managers and an officer and ran down the whole shabang to 'em. He aired everyone out including me, but since I was keeping my books and numbers straight, it looked like the kid was bullshittin' to get the heat off of him. I took that as my chance to get out, and pretty much told the company..." I cant believe you would even question me or my record in this matter. I'm resiging and taking a position with Copeland's Sports." They issued me a nice severance package and i went to copelands and ran the same game over there.
needless to say, I made STOOPID bread but have ZERO to show for it execpt some great stories. hahahaha
me and my dude used to go eat at this cafeteria that was ran by a blind dude. he worked the register and whenever we went up to pay, we'd have half the kitchen on our tray, but we'd tell the guy "coffee and donut" or "hot dog" and just pay for that.
used to manage a foot locker and for years had a scam called "running the option" each store was alloted a certain amount of loss per quarter, and since my store was in "an ethnic neighborhood" ours was damn near double the other stores. knowing this, it was get money time. I hired people that I knew and trusted and went to work. My clientelle at my store was usually baby mommas, school kids and hustlers so my deal was perfect for them. They could pay full price or they had the option to pay substancially less if they paid with cash. Even had the ups dude in on it. He'd say certain shipments were stolen from his truck or never even received. Ran the scheme for years until one young cat got overzealous and got busted. Dude got put in a room with the district managers and an officer and ran down the whole shabang to 'em. He aired everyone out including me, but since I was keeping my books and numbers straight, it looked like the kid was bullshittin' to get the heat off of him. I took that as my chance to get out, and pretty much told the company..." I cant believe you would even question me or my record in this matter. I'm resiging and taking a position with Copeland's Sports." They issued me a nice severance package and i went to copelands and ran the same game over there.
needless to say, I made STOOPID bread but have ZERO to show for it execpt some great stories. hahahaha
