What do your coworker(s) do that pisses you off?

[jake921660]

i say huh sometimes when people say shit because im a little deaf and cant here shit over the drone of the fridges. i sometimes say it though and then fill in the blanks i missed from what they said half a second later and answer them lol. no one has looked at me like a psychopath yet though

 

[jake921660]

but i noticed i was doing that about 6 months ago so now i dont say anything and just stare at people while i try and work out what they said. i dunno whats worse lol

 

[Hood Rat Matt]

My boss does no more than an hour of work every day. She will throw me under the bus when she fucks up

I have a coworker who is an extreme animal rights activist. She will discourage me from eating certain things and she sends me emails with mutilated animals. Cold part is she's a super hot/petite hyna with ass. She works hard.

Another is a fat slob who eats all day sitting on Facebook or on YouTube watching bollywood numbers. He is always calling me over to his desk to tell me long, pointless stories.

One more is a lady who is afraid of birds. She will go to great lengths to avoid pigeons. She's hardcore into zumba. She will show me her moves sometimes...when she gets too close it smells like citrus+piss

I put on my headphones and listen to Howard Stern all day

 

[Dirt E. Needlez]

After reading this thread....i think some of us work together in the same office lol

Wouldnt it be funny as hell if someone from work came up to you and said "hey...are you *insert screenname here* from Siccness?"

 

[S.SAVAGE]

After reading this thread....i think some of us work together in the same office lol

Wouldnt it be funny as hell if someone from work came up to you and said "hey...are you *insert screenname here* from Siccness?"

I've always waited on that one, since I usually have a window with the siccness up @ any given moment.

 

[[-KoRp$-]559]

I have one that has weird seizures and fits, she'll start slapping her own forehead for no reason and snapping her fingers..its kinda odd, she spits in a cup all day long like shes chewing tobacco, but she isnt, its just spit,and at the end of the day she drinks it before leaving...she uses Nag Champa scented soap and wears HELLA patchouli oil, and she huffs lavender all day so the office smells like the bathroom of an indian spice company with plumbing issues. She microwaves giant bowls of some weird seafood shit that smells like a mixtures of Chitlins and Rotten fish sauce and the smell lingers for 2 days. It would be 105 degrees out and she be wearing 2 sweaters and a beanie and say shes cold.....Im starting to think the bitch is a vampire cause she cant be human.... no human could eat that shit and live, she's gotta be half sea animal or something, that shit looks like the chum they dump in the water to attract sharks, smells like it too...a Walrus, thats it...this bitch smells like a dead walrus....preserved in ammonia....

We had a pot luck once and she brought some strange dish, i forgot what it was called but there were no vowels in its name and nobody could pronounce it...or determine what it was...ii would guess it was made with 200 year old wolf pussy and camel urine, She brought a huge gumbo pot full of if and nobody would go near it, and it sat there....for 2 days. Eventually HR finally said it was becoming a health risk and made her remove it (she tried to keep it under her desk after that) She's also bi-polar and has been suspended for slapping another employee after he drank the last cup of coffee. They have been trying to get rid of her for years but they cant, she's sued them twice, she only won once but it was enough to cement her into her desk for eternity.
a year ago she bought a bunch of goldfish, she went on vacation for a month and forgot about her fish...one weekend it was over 100 degrees and her desk it right by the window. We came into the office Monday morning the the smell of rotten goldfish,they basically cooked in the water they were in. When she came back she went on a rampage saying we all conspired to kill her fish and she was going to sue all of us...

this was before she called 911 at 2am saying our boss was outside her house peeking in her window.....

so, tell me about your coworkers...

Hahaha lmfao damn got me laughing hella hard at work.

 

[[-KoRp$-]559]

Funny shit at work over here is when boss pulls up unexpected at job site and the mood changes fools start working extra hard or at least look like they are. Even go as far as working through half their lunch to look good, lol kiss ass mofos lose their dignity and look stupid.

 

[JReezelle]

not puttin away shop tools or cleanin up work stations after their dirty asses.

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I'm sure people say stuff about me too.
I eat at my desk, because I basically eat every 2 hours. I eat the exact same stuff every day. I pick my nose and wipe boogers under my desk or wait till it's a little quiet then toss it in the trash can so I can hear that "click" sound and see if anyone notices. I chug water and get up to take a piss once an hour. I talk to people like they just landed on planet Earth because they ask me stupid questions all day.

I'm not necessarily pleasing to be around, but I get my stuff done right.

 

[Dirt E. Needlez]

THE CANDY LADY

Ok, those of us that grew up in the hood kow about "the candy house" or "the candy lady"...well, we had one in the office, i think she gave half the staff diabetes. This chick had 1/2 a candy store at her desk, literally she would have cookie jars at her desk, like 7 or them with different candy in them...it got to the point that HR decided she was using too much office space with her "candy corner", it literally took up a whole other desk. She was the oddest happiest woman ever, i think she was on a LOT of anti depressants because she would say everything with a smile...like she could be telling you your family died and you house burned to the ground and she would do so with an ear to ear smile and it the most upbeat voice ever. Well, i think they took her off her meds or something happened because one day she snapped, she was the most pleasant person to deal with..almost TOO happy...but one day she came to work and was grumpy, and then she always looked bitter and pissed. Apparently a customer pissed her off, she told the customer to "kiss her lily white ass and fuck off" ...and walked out...leaving behind enough candy to kill 400 diabetics and supply 3 halloweens.

One asian lady decided to take it ALL, she literally came to work with safeway plastic bags and dumped them all into them.....a few days later she was the new candy lady, she mixed the candies up and put them in sandwich bags and was selling them for $1....I've stolen between 8-10 bags from her desk when she isnt here, she puts up notes that say "please do not steal my candy" I typed up the CPC on stolen property and made it like 24 point font bold on pink paper

California Penal Code 496(a) Every person who buys or receives any property that has been stolen or that has been obtained in any manner constituting theft or extortion, knowing the property to be so stolen or obtained, or who conceals, sells, withholds, or aids in concealing, selling, or withholding any property from the owner, knowing the property to be so stolen or obtained, shall be punished by imprisonment in a state prison, or in a county jail for not more than one year. However, if the district attorney or the grand jury determines that this action would be in the interests of justice, the district attorney or the grand jury, as the case may be, may, if the value of the property does not exceed nine hundred fifty dollars ($950), specify in the accusatory pleading that the offense shall be a misdemeanor, punishable only by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year.

all of a sudden we didnt have a candy lady anymore

 

[thatguy]

we got this old lady in about a year ago, and she still has to ask me about everything she does before she makes a decision. then she willl argue with me about my response. she does irrational shit, like over making products because she thinks people at an event on the other side of the city are gonna come in and buy all the shit shes putting out. lol. it never happens. she takes a million bathroom breaks, and i swear one time she pee'd herself. anytime she talks to me, its about loving jesus or when she plans on having sex with her new boyfriend. she is 55 and im 23... so i told her to just act as if im her grandson that doesnt like her. lol.

got another one recently, she is 22 with 2 kids, and a heart condition. when work gets tough, shell say that her heart is acting up and she needs a breather. she also takes a million bathroom breaks. she says that she cant even bend over to tie her shoes without tripping her heart issue, but what im wondering is how she survives sex, and how she had the kids then? lol. last time i asked her to do something, she went and found a manager and told him that i was bullying her. he knew me, and knew i wouldnt do that so he didnt even talk to me.