Ate Chinese and got sick. Had to make emergency stop at my sister's house. Couldn't make it home. Shat for roughly 20 minutes. Decided I felt well enough to make it home. Made it 300 feet down my dirt road. Immense wave of "need to shit again" hits me. Panic stricken and overcome with anxiety, I realize I have something to wipe with if I must shit outdoors. Think to self: I can make it. Realization: can't make it. Pull over quickly, scramble for something to clean up with, run to fence and grip. Headlights still on and pointed right at my bare ass. Think to self: shit, this won't work. I pull up pants, run to car, turn headlights off, run back to fence. Grab gate posts and hope for the best. Two minutes later, anxiety ceases and stomach begins to settle. I'll miss that pair of gym socks.