THE LONGEST THREAD.
- Thread starter Nightbreed
- Start date
Jamaican Sex Sandals
This married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Man." Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!
This married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Man." Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!
A fellow went to the confessional in a Catholic church and told the father he would like to confess, the father said, thats what I'm here for my son so the fellow said, father I had intercourse 13 times last night, the father said that all right my son, your married arn't you? The fellow said,hell no,I not even Catholic but I wanted to tell somebody!!
There was this man and woman, and they were married. Well, the woman was always horny and wanted sex all the time. The husband had to go away on a business trip and needed something to keep his wife satisfies until he got back. He went to a pleasure place looking for dildos. He walked in and asked to see all the dildos. the man took all of them out except for one. the man told him he wanted to see the one in the box. the man said that it wasn't for sale. He finally talked him into taking it out and looking at it. the man said,"this is a voodoo dick. let me demonstrate. Voodoo dick the keyhole." the voodoo dick went over to the door and started doing to keyhole. the man said,"voodoo dick back in your box." Well the man finally talked him into letting him buy the voodoo dick. He took it home and told his wife that whenever she got horny just say voodoo dick my pussy. he left and she got really horny and said,"voodoo dick my pussy." well she had an orgasm and wanted it to stop. she couldn't get it to stop, she tried pulling at it hitting it and everything. she got in her car to go to the doctor to see if hecould stop it. her foot kept hitting the gas really hard and a cop pulled her over. he asked her what she was doing and she told him about the voodoo dick. The cop smurked and said,"yeah, voodoo my ass."!!!!
This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. she tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. she tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and the skirt was still to tight. She tried one more time. She reached back and unzipped some more. And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus. So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt. He gives her a boost onto the bus. She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing." Well the man says "Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the third time I thought we was aquainted."