Sir Dyno's book "midst of my confusion"
- Thread starter datfrenchmane
- Start date
Finally got to a comp. Here's a lil somethin....
One night, Vince and his primo pulled up to Burger King for some food. I decided to kick it with a jaina at my chante, so I didn’t go with them. They were always being trucha, but I guess they didn’t see the vatos from VSL parked across the lot. Vince had smoked some green skunk and was feeling good. As he stepped out of his ranfla he noticed some jainas next to a payphone. Vince’s primo had been drinking too, so he was feeling buzzed. Vince noticed the jainas giggling and flirting with him. So he walked up to them. They all had firme smiles and were looking good.
“Que onda? Where’s the party at?” asked Vince as he lit a cigarette. He heard footsteps and sensed something was wrong. As he turned around he felt a hit below his ribs. He tried to throw a punch and noticed blood coming out his side. The jainas started screaming as he lifted his shirt and saw a knife stab. Blood was spraying out as the vato stabbed him again. Vince’s primo was being jumped by three vatos next to his car. They had pulled him out through his window. Another vato pushed Vince down as he felt his knees give way, weakened. He tried to fight but didn’t have the strength to swing. All he could do was to try and block the vato from stabbing him as he felt the knife cutting his arms and hands. He felt each stab wound rip his flesh. He fought to keep his eyes open; he didn’t want to die.
One night, Vince and his primo pulled up to Burger King for some food. I decided to kick it with a jaina at my chante, so I didn’t go with them. They were always being trucha, but I guess they didn’t see the vatos from VSL parked across the lot. Vince had smoked some green skunk and was feeling good. As he stepped out of his ranfla he noticed some jainas next to a payphone. Vince’s primo had been drinking too, so he was feeling buzzed. Vince noticed the jainas giggling and flirting with him. So he walked up to them. They all had firme smiles and were looking good.
“Que onda? Where’s the party at?” asked Vince as he lit a cigarette. He heard footsteps and sensed something was wrong. As he turned around he felt a hit below his ribs. He tried to throw a punch and noticed blood coming out his side. The jainas started screaming as he lifted his shirt and saw a knife stab. Blood was spraying out as the vato stabbed him again. Vince’s primo was being jumped by three vatos next to his car. They had pulled him out through his window. Another vato pushed Vince down as he felt his knees give way, weakened. He tried to fight but didn’t have the strength to swing. All he could do was to try and block the vato from stabbing him as he felt the knife cutting his arms and hands. He felt each stab wound rip his flesh. He fought to keep his eyes open; he didn’t want to die.
“Yeah fool! Now what punk? VSL RIFAMOS! And don’t you ever forget it!” yelled the vato as he stabbed Vince in the gut one more time. Blood was coming out of Vince’s mouth as he tried to breath. I wonder what went through Vince’s mind at that moment. What did he feel? Did he see his little sister or his Jefito? Or did he see his mother looking down at him asking why, as she screamed and cried? I wonder if his mother woke up with tears running down her face. Little did she know her son was dying. Did he feel scared, hate or love? Or did he just feel the will to live, to breath just one more day? As the punks ran off, his primo crawled to where Vince was laying. Vince’s primo could hear one of the jainas call the paramedics. Vince gasped for air as he stared at his primo. He was begging for help as he laid soaked in blood. One single tear came down his eye and that was that. That was the way my camarada died, my brother, my homie.
The funeral was full of cholos, cholas and Vince’s familia. Some vatos wore black t-shirts with R.I.P and Vince’s name in Old English lettering. It was a sign of respect from the gang. His mother and grandparents were there, along with familia from different states. They all cried silently. Patrol cars were driving by every few minutes making sure there was no trouble. I didn’t know what to feel. I had lost a brother. I felt so much hate, like cancer that’s slowly eating away at me inside. I never meant for all this to go this far. I wanted it to stop. I was firme with fighting, and tagging up on walls. But this was something permanent. Nothing was going to bring Vince back.
Every single gang member was being rounded up by the cops. We couldn’t be in groups of three homies or more. The cops were crashing down hard on the barrios. An employee from Burger King snitched and described who the killer was. Cops found the vato that stabbed Vince a few towns away and brought him back to town. They put him into the county jail with the general population. Come to find out he wasn’t even from VSL. He was from a city nearby and had a cousin in VSL. After two days in jail cops found him stabbed to death in the showers. We never knew who did it. The cops thought that we had something to do with it, but we didn’t have anybody in county jail at the time. Chuey was there, but he was in lockdown. Some say it was a big prison gang that did the hit. Vince had a tio serving 20 years for murdering a vato in a drug deal. He was a shot caller and could have had anybody killed at anytime.
Every single gang member was being rounded up by the cops. We couldn’t be in groups of three homies or more. The cops were crashing down hard on the barrios. An employee from Burger King snitched and described who the killer was. Cops found the vato that stabbed Vince a few towns away and brought him back to town. They put him into the county jail with the general population. Come to find out he wasn’t even from VSL. He was from a city nearby and had a cousin in VSL. After two days in jail cops found him stabbed to death in the showers. We never knew who did it. The cops thought that we had something to do with it, but we didn’t have anybody in county jail at the time. Chuey was there, but he was in lockdown. Some say it was a big prison gang that did the hit. Vince had a tio serving 20 years for murdering a vato in a drug deal. He was a shot caller and could have had anybody killed at anytime.
A few weeks passed as I sat in my homeboys garage. The chante belonged to a veterano that had just been released from the pen. He was a tattoo artist. We all called him Vete but his name was Francisco. I took my shirt off. Big Ed, Tobo and Chuey sat there as I was getting ready to get my first tattoo. I wanted Apache across my stomach in Old English writing. The homeboys told each other jokes as I quietly sat there. I didn’t feel like joking. Matter of fact, I didn’t feel anything.
“Go ahead, ese, might as well start now,” I said to Vete as he sharpened the needle made from a guitar string.
“Go ahead, ese, might as well start now,” I said to Vete as he sharpened the needle made from a guitar string.
“Do you want it shaded in, or just shaded along the top and bottom of the letters?”
“I want it all shaded in homeboy. Let everyone know without a doubt I’m from Apache,” I answered as I clenched my teeth. I couldn’t help but think of my homeboy laying in a box buried six feet deep. Revenge for Vince was mine. He was my carnal that put his vida down for Barrio Apache. I hated VSL more than ever. I would never stop until everyone from VSL was dead. I wondered if it would have happened differently if I had been there. Why hadn’t I kicked it with him instead of a jaina? I tightened my fists as Vete started his work. I could feel the needle pinching my skin as oldies played. I closed my eyes as I felt a monster building up inside of me. Would I die in the calles like Vince? I didn’t know and I didn’t care.
“How much feria for that cuete homes?” I asked the vato.
“I want it all shaded in homeboy. Let everyone know without a doubt I’m from Apache,” I answered as I clenched my teeth. I couldn’t help but think of my homeboy laying in a box buried six feet deep. Revenge for Vince was mine. He was my carnal that put his vida down for Barrio Apache. I hated VSL more than ever. I would never stop until everyone from VSL was dead. I wondered if it would have happened differently if I had been there. Why hadn’t I kicked it with him instead of a jaina? I tightened my fists as Vete started his work. I could feel the needle pinching my skin as oldies played. I closed my eyes as I felt a monster building up inside of me. Would I die in the calles like Vince? I didn’t know and I didn’t care.
“How much feria for that cuete homes?” I asked the vato.
I drove to a city to buy a throw away gun. He was a friend of my cousin. I now had a nice ’65 Chevy with the original gold paint still on it. The primo I grew up with was with me. His name was Alfredo and he had moved to town because it got too hot for him in his barrio. He stabbed two vatos from a barrio he was fighting with. His jefita made him move in with us, thinking it was much calmer in our smaller town. As far as I was concerned it was worse. At least he lived in a bigger city. You didn’t necessarily see your enemies every time you turned a corner like in this town.
“Just give me a hundred dollars for it. It ain’t got no bodies on it,” said the vato.I counted the money and put the cuete under my seat. I handed him the bills as he shook my hand. It was a .38 Special revolver. Not bad for a first cuete. I had just turned eighteen two months ago. My primo Alfredo was two years older than me. He grew up in the projects so this gangbanging vida was far from new to him. A year had passed since the day Vince was buried.
“Just give me a hundred dollars for it. It ain’t got no bodies on it,” said the vato.I counted the money and put the cuete under my seat. I handed him the bills as he shook my hand. It was a .38 Special revolver. Not bad for a first cuete. I had just turned eighteen two months ago. My primo Alfredo was two years older than me. He grew up in the projects so this gangbanging vida was far from new to him. A year had passed since the day Vince was buried.
But things were really out of hand now. Vatos were constantly getting harassed by cops because their car would have three or four vatos in it. Cops would search the ranflas we were in looking for knives and guns. There was high school counselors always trying to preach to us against barrio warfare. My homeboys were constantly going in and out of jail. Some of the homies were even snorting coke, or rolling joints with coke mixed into it. Little youngsters from my barrio were putting in work and claiming Apache, too. I had kids as young as ten asking me if they could be in our gang. Chale con eso. I didn’t want that kind of responsibility. I didn’t want no little kids around me. I knew I was in too deep with no turning back. I was going to die for the choices I made. I didn’t want to drag any kids into this crazy lifestyle. The youngsters didn’t listen to me anyways, and they just started their own gang.
I had grown and forgot everything my dad had ever taught me. To think that I actually wanted to grow up to help my Raza. My father hardly talked to me now. I could tell he was ashamed of me. But no matter what I went through I still had respect for my parents. Pero besides that, I only had love for my homeboys, my Barrio. If you weren’t from Barrio Apache, then you were my enemy. This is our Barrio and I swore to God, on the day I saw Vince lowered, that I would die for Apache. I would back it up till my last dying breath.
On the way back to town after buying the cuete Alfredo my cousin said, “Let’s go to the park primo.”
I had grown and forgot everything my dad had ever taught me. To think that I actually wanted to grow up to help my Raza. My father hardly talked to me now. I could tell he was ashamed of me. But no matter what I went through I still had respect for my parents. Pero besides that, I only had love for my homeboys, my Barrio. If you weren’t from Barrio Apache, then you were my enemy. This is our Barrio and I swore to God, on the day I saw Vince lowered, that I would die for Apache. I would back it up till my last dying breath.
On the way back to town after buying the cuete Alfredo my cousin said, “Let’s go to the park primo.”