I'm depressed, clinically depressed. Some days my body hurts so bad that I can't get out of bed. I'm a fucking failure. I have so much potential and I'm 40 years old and I've wasted it all. They want me to take pills that may or not make me feel better and I consider it, but I'm not ready to make that decision... Sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes I lay in bed and can't see how I can go through another day.... You know what I never think about? Hurting my family and making them feel one ounce of what I'm going through... I may not love myself my most days but I love my family enough to know that no matter how dark I think my day may be, it's never enough to put them through that agony... I'm not that selfish... Suicide is a selfish act... If I can push through, anyone can.
Damn girl, that really fucking sucks. Especially when there is nobody in your surroundings that can relate to how you feel.
I apologize if I cross any boundaries but have you ever thought about supplementation? There are some vitamins, minerals and amino acids you can take that really help you with depression. They might not solve your problem but I'm pretty sure the next things I list will relieve a big deal. If you are thinking about taking the medicines I would suggest you take a look at and try these things first.
Mainly because they are all natural and they are what the body actually need and being deficient in these things can cause and or be a part of your depression. Instead of taking something synthetic with side effects and all.
A vitamin B complex for example, and in addition some extra B1 (thiamine) , B3 (niacin) , Vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid), Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) and of course B12 (almost everybody inc meat eaters are deficient in B12)
Vitamin D3, about 100% of the people living in the western hemisphere are deficient in D3 this can also lead to or contribute to depression.
This is a fat soluble vitamin and should be taken in with some fat, preferably with omega3 because most people are high in omega6 but not in 3 and this should be the other way around. Omega3 is extremely hard to find in just our food. Certain fish have it but there are a ton of negative side effects in fish nowadays (not getting in to that right now) but chia seeds have high amounts of omega3 or again supplements.
5 HTP this is used for the production of serotonin (the happy hormone)
L-Glutamine this is an amino acid that is being used for tons of functions in the body, one of them is to create GABA which plays a role in getting rid of depression. L-Glutamine is really great and I could recommend this for anyone.
And for minerals Magnesium and Zinc to help to relax the nerve system.
I'm guessing you're battling fatigue too? There's a bunch of other stuff you can do for this, again all natural I won't go in to that now but if you are curious just let me know here or in a pm.
I want to say again I'm sorry if I crossed any boundaries and also want to mention I'm no doctor or medical expert but I gained a lot of (personal) experience on health and healing myself the last couple of years, not depression perse, but I know for a fact being deficient in the things listed above will, among other things get you depressed. I would like to invite you to not believe anything I say but actually do a search on the internet and read up and educate yourself on all the things I mentioned above.
Oh, there could also be a lot in your diet that could contribute to you feeling depressed like sugar and some sorts of wheat.
I hope this helped you out at least a little bit.
