QUESTION ABOUT FUNERALS

[J-FUNKTION]

once again thanks everyone...and i to be honest i wanna see him one last time even though its hard as fuck...i dont wanna miss that opportunity....same thing when my dad died i went into the room they had him in at the hospital 3 times before i could finally be at peace with the fact that hes gone...

i seriously honestly didnt wanna turn this into a RIP thread but i do appreciate every word in here...i didnt even know he had a 2 month old son and reading an article that one of my homies just sent me tears me up...boss said he was dancing on his way out of work to cheer cats up lmao thats my muthafuckin dude i remember...

 

[8FIVE8]

u should go. what if later in life the funeral 4 someone is closer to u? Could be a brother, sister, mother, father, grandparent, or even child. What r u gonna do then? I am terrified of corpses and coffins but i still go up there, but its always cuz my grandma and brother kinda push me to go up to the body. The only people that were close to me that died was my father and my uncle. I didnt go to my uncles funeral, he died in the philippines

 

[MysticOracle]

funerals arent fun for anyone...man up and go....you'll be around plenty of people that are going through the same shit you are ( some more than others ) pay your respects....rip to your friend

 

[Gemini]

So basically, you do things that you don't want to or don't say what you feel in fear of people thinking you are stupid.

Eventually you may get fed up with people expecting you to do things or expecting you to go places just because they invited you. You may find yourself saying "I don't want to" and doing things that you want, or that make you happy.

If you don't like going to funerals (which you said yourself), then don't go. The fact you do go when you don't want to, in my point of view is even dumber.

Going out to places and going to funerals / wakes are apples and oranges. My point being that I don't know anyone who actually enjoys going to see their loved one laid out in a casket. Nobody wants to see that, but have to deal with it.

I work in a mortuary, Bro. The whole, "I don't like / do funerals." is a lame excuse and cliche'. And yes, people look stupid using that excuse due to the fact that those that attended were not there to enjoy it.

 

[Legman]

even if you cant handle it...go and pay your respects from a distance, you dont need to touch the body to prove you showed up

trust me, no matter how much you hate funerals, or death and corpses

if you dont go, you will lean on that moment in time where you decided not to go, and eat yourself alive

actions today, bring changes tomorrow

 

[G-Eyez]

if i were you.. i'd go, say what i gotta say, then tell his parents or whomever he was closest to that you gotta dip for your reasons if you feel that its disrespectful just to leave like that..im sure they'd understand..

 

[Nuttkase]

More or less what everyone else has said is what works for them. If you feel you can't go call or mail the family a card with your condolences. Everyone reacts to death differently, they would understand I'm sure.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

 

[Gemini]

if i were you.. i'd go, say what i gotta say, then tell his parents or whomever he was closest to that you gotta dip for your reasons if you feel that its disrespectful just to leave like that..im sure they'd understand..

That's real right there. Being on the family end when a loved one is lost.

I had semi beef with certain people & when my dad passed away back in 97 and the dudes I least expected to show up, showed up. All and any beef went out the window.

In other words, sometimes you don't have to say anything, showing up is more than enough to the family.

 

[fillyacup]

straight up G-eyez..


i never will go up to an open casket for obvious reasons..i show and pay my respects to folks who passed and the closes to that person.funerals are about close. closure, being close to those who drifted..all that

 

[fillyacup]

I pay respect to them when they are here. While everyone treated them like shit, I didn't. While everyone judged them, I didn't. When they needed help, I helped. When no one visited them, I did.

Now they are dead and people want to make amends with themselves.

everyone is different man. as always, your logic is good. treat others kind and fair while they are alive. for the woman in your life, namely fam or whatever, bring them flowers now. for the men, beer works wonders. its never to late to tell someone before hand you miss them. the future is not promised..make the best of it.

i dig what your saying rumpel, and thats how i try and manage life, its just that after so many times of helping, not judging, and what not..getting burned or realizing your getting burned takes a toll..

again, everyone is different.

 

[NAMO]

Don't go at all.
I never do.

You just tell people it's too hard for you or whatever. Eventually you will just be known as the guy who doesn't attend funerals. It's just something you don't subscribe to, and they will just leave it alone.

I gotta disagree...If you don't go man, you'll live in regret. It's your LAST CHANCE to pay respects to a loved one. Don't hide from difficult things in your life, you gotta face them.

if you can't go you can't go.

but whats important is how you remember them.

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Basically, everyone has their own opinion and own ways of handling another persons death. I don't think it's right for anyone to criticize the next person on how they handle it. Just because you handle it that way, doesn't make it right. That's what makes it right for you. That doesn't mean that is what makes it right for me. What works for me, in retrospective doesn't work for you.

 

[aridan3at]

Showing up at the wake or viewing is good enough of paying respect. Shake the family and friends hands. You dont have to stay, jus say you have other plans of things to do.

 

[Gas One]

IMO youll feel much better if you just attend the funeral, and on top of that get up there and say some words, so what if you cry or some shit on stage thats a room full of people who loved that person enough to show up...it will be respected no matter what you do as long as you are not disrespectful in words, even a funny/awkward comment would be respected as it shows a time you remember. when someones dead alot of peopel view thigns in different lights so you even showing up may make someones day in the family.

i have remorse for every funeral i did not attend however i hadnt matured enough to deal with death first hand and the emotions that come with it so im not too hard on myself. but id suggest that you just show your respects and if you feel you gotta bounce out right after you say something do that. no ones gonna stop you and pull you back in..

we all deal with death in our own ways ..as long as you dont go out and put any guns to your own head or anyone elses in the process i would say it was a success

 

[HERESY]

got word today that a childhood friend that ive known since first grade died in a crazy accident last tuesday.

my question is, would it be disrespectful to show up for the time needed to give my condolences and pay my last respects, and leave?

i really cant stand funerals..they break me down mentally..

thanks for any and all input..

No, this is not disrespectful.

What was direspectful is when the goddamn preacher left the pulpit, came down to where I was sitting at my grandmas funeral (first row, first seat) and telling me to take my hat off.

Preacher: "You have to take your hat off when you're in here."

Me: "Man I'm not taking off my hat."

Preacher: "No, I'm going to ask you one more time take your hat off."

Me: ointing to the pulpit: "Take your ass back up there and sit yourself down."

Preacher: :walks back to pulpit and cops a seat.:

 

[J-FUNKTION]

^^damn..lol..

 

[caff]

why does everyone get the creeps/afraid on viewing? My advice get use to it cause when one of your parents/family members dies its not going to be a in and out thing.

 

[J-FUNKTION]

^^i know..ive been to a few..including my fathers..

 

[The Duke of Earl]

i get shit faced drunk after the funereal, thats how i deal with it

 

[AKAZIE]

Funeral Crashers. Make the sequel homie.