My complaint about Satin Gun's vagina
Seldom does an event take place which is such an outrage that the silent majority stands up and demands action. But the silent majority is currently demanding that something be done about Satin Gun's vagina. As a preliminary, I want to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from plagiarism, antidisestablishmentarianism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance.
Satin Gun's vagina, dangerous misfits, and a few decent but occasionally scary people are engaged in a desperate struggle for the soul of society, at least insofar as this essay is concerned. It seems to me that, as others have stated long before me, "whenever Satin Gun's vagina gives a speech, it is always careful to sidestep the issue of how its slurs are gnosticism reincarnate." As for the lies and exaggerations, if the only way to address a number of important issues is for me to swallow whatever Satin Gun's vagina dishes out, then so be it. It would certainly be worth it because people tell me that it exudes the foul odor of negativism. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course. Unfortunately, the English language contains so few words of reprobation and invective that I cannot satisfactorily describe Satin Gun's vagina's contemptible press releases. At least our language's lexicon is sufficiently voluminous for me to explain that if Satin Gun's vagina's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, it wouldn't consider it such a good idea to exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us. My current plan is to denounce Satin Gun's vagina's bons mots. Yes, it will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but it may unwittingly spread hatred, animosity, and divisiveness. I say "unwittingly" because it is apparently unaware that it operates under the influence of a particular ideology: a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why the public is like a giant that Satin Gun's vagina has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Satin Gun's vagina leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to search for solutions that are more creative and constructive than the typically bookish ones championed by ugly, rummy blockheads. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that an organization that wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of its actions. Satin Gun's vagina has never had that faculty. It always does what it wants to do at the moment and figures it'll be able to lie itself out of any problems that arise.
I've tried explaining to Satin Gun's vagina's trained seals that small minds are little troubled by this. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that I once had a nightmare in which Satin Gun's vagina was free to threaten the existence of human life, perhaps all life on the planet. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that Satin Gun's vagina's opinion is that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that if Satin Gun's vagina succeeds in its attempt to use lethal violence as a source of humor, it'll have to be over my dead body. Sorry for babbling so much, but Satin Gun's vagina is greatly increasing the size of its muzzy-headed allotheism movement by needling and wheedling disreputable, jejune marauders into it.
--disclaimer--
I just did that for laughs. I give a fuck about ya'lls net beef, ya heard?