Freedom Town: Aesthetic and Recreational Lawn Alternative
- Thread starter BASEDVATO
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My life is pretty mechanical, I wake up, go to work, work, go home, watch anime / play video games / browse siccness, go to bed, and repeat. I rarely leave my house other than to go to work and go grocery shopping, occasionally I’ll leave and go to a bookstore or go on a hike, but besides that my house is where I spend almost all of my time when I’m not working. I also spend a lot of money on anime figures that it’s kind of pathetic, whatever money that I have that isn’t going to bills/rent/food/gas/etc. is going towards figures / video games / manga. I guess I don’t have anything else to spend it on so I just buy stuff that will at least bring temporary happiness when I get to unpack them, it kind of feels like getting a gift from someone in an odd way. It makes me sound like those 30 year old virgins that people make fun of on the internet.
Speaking of virgins, I think I’m giving the Virgin Mary a run for her money. I’ve never hugged, held hands, kissed, let alone have sex or be in a relationship with someone. It’s so fucking embarrassing. This makes me the most depressed and I’m just so lonely and pathetic it’s disgusting. I wouldn’t say I’m bad looking either, I’m not overweight, I keep up with my hygiene / grooming, I dress nicely, and I try to keep some confidence, but I’ve never even got as much as a sideways glance from someone. I’m also getting to an age where it’s even HARDER to find someone to date that doesn’t want to just hook up / keep you as a sugar daddy. I just want to hold hands and hug (maybe sneak in a kiss) someone once before I’m gone, but I honestly doubt that’s going to happen.
I don’t see suicide as an optional thing, I’ve always seen it as an inevitability at some point, I really don’t see an alternative. I'm just too afraid to kill myself because I'm afraid it's going to hurt and I don't have access to anything that would make it less painful.
Speaking of virgins, I think I’m giving the Virgin Mary a run for her money. I’ve never hugged, held hands, kissed, let alone have sex or be in a relationship with someone. It’s so fucking embarrassing. This makes me the most depressed and I’m just so lonely and pathetic it’s disgusting. I wouldn’t say I’m bad looking either, I’m not overweight, I keep up with my hygiene / grooming, I dress nicely, and I try to keep some confidence, but I’ve never even got as much as a sideways glance from someone. I’m also getting to an age where it’s even HARDER to find someone to date that doesn’t want to just hook up / keep you as a sugar daddy. I just want to hold hands and hug (maybe sneak in a kiss) someone once before I’m gone, but I honestly doubt that’s going to happen.
I don’t see suicide as an optional thing, I’ve always seen it as an inevitability at some point, I really don’t see an alternative. I'm just too afraid to kill myself because I'm afraid it's going to hurt and I don't have access to anything that would make it less painful.
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