On a real level having no friends, very little family (I'm 99.99999% sure I was an accident), and everybody met including my fucking dog hating me I got nobody to talk to.
But the positive in that is that nobody cares about me so nobody would give a fuck if I died, hell I know a lot of MFs who would be happy to see me go. It honestly feels like thats my calling in life sometimes, like my destiny or whatever.
Its almost spiritual in how bizarrely hostile my the reaction to me is everywhere I go, from every fucking "club" as a kid I was bullied out of.
I gotta be honest, I really dont really know what a friend is man, I dont think I ever had one before.