EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS: CELTICS VS. HEAT
- Thread starter Rasan
- Start date
Feels good to be wrong.
The jokes will be overflowing tomorrow night. I'm sure the refs will be fuckin shit up. Celtics need to be runnin on all cylinders to close this out.
And meta4ical compared to the avengers, the celtics are slightly above avergae. Heat shoulda murdered them easily, and that's without bosh. But dutch called it!
The jokes will be overflowing tomorrow night. I'm sure the refs will be fuckin shit up. Celtics need to be runnin on all cylinders to close this out.
And meta4ical compared to the avengers, the celtics are slightly above avergae. Heat shoulda murdered them easily, and that's without bosh. But dutch called it!
Heat Choke Away Game 5, One Loss Away From Elimination
Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!
The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two games in a row.
And yet, of course, the Heat found a way to lose 94-90 and are now headed back to Douchelandia one loss away from LeBromageddon.
Rajon Rondo shot 3-for-15. Paul Pierce 6-for-9. Ray Allen 2-for-9.
Think about that for a minute.
You can't, can you?
The left-hand part of your brain just looked at the right-hand part of your brain and said, "Meh, Imma go take a shit and then go to sleep."
It's official. The Miami Heat's role players suck the shit out a camel's asshole with a goddamn whirly straw. While the Celtics have guys who can knock down threes even during broken plays, the Heat's alleged three-point specialists -- Chalmers, Battier, Miller, Jones -- are as ineffective shooting three pointers as a guy trying to fuck an ostrich.
Missing wide-open shots and then getting absolutely eviscerated by a lack of transition defense against a team that can hit lights out jumpers earns you a full-fledged car battery enema.
Look at the stats below. Look at the points scored by all players not named L. James or D. Wade. And then slam your dick in a waffle iron:
The Celtics won last night while being very old and being mostly shitty thanks mainly to Miami's two biggest problems: No point guard and no big man. As bad as Boston was offensively, their entire highlight reel from last night is Kevin Garnett throwing down alley-oop dunks from Rondo. Over and over and over again until we all collectively shat a Buick. And while Chris Bosh's return was pretty awesome, the Heat still had no answer for a seven foot old asshole who scored 26 points (mostly in the paint) and grabbed 11 rebounds.
Then there was the lack of simply being the Miami Heat. As this series has rolled ever so slowly into the black maw of shittery, the Heat have gone from being a transition offensive juggernaut, to a half-court, standing-around, pass-pass-pass-JUMPSHOT-miss! basketball team. A lot of this is because this team has missed Chris Bosh more than any team can possibly miss their third best player. And a lot of this is Boston's defense, which not only forced Miami into a brick laying sack of monkey dicks, but forced both LeBron James and Dwyane Wade into lulls, where they completely disappeared and were lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Suck. That shouldn't be a big deal when you have competent role players (like say, Oklahoma City when Kevin Durant struggles). But with this team, it remains LeWade or Bust.
We're not big on criticizing coaching around here. Coaching is important, but it doesn't play the biggest role of all, which is scoring, defending, rebounding and not throwing up into your pants when the game is on the line.
But Erik Spoelstra needs to have an entire beehive shoved right into his anal cavity today. While Spo is an intelligent guy who knows Xs and Os better than any of us, he's also a goddamn Vulcan when it comes to in-game decisions. The Celtics have effectively run the alley-oop-to-Garnett play out of timeouts roughly a billion times this series, and Spo has not been able to recognize it or answer it. Spo also has a knack for sticking to lineups that might have worked a few games ago, but in the current situation is an open wounded clusterfuck. The biggest penis sandwich last night was taking Norris Cole out of the game in favor of a completely worthless Mario Chalmers. Oh and not having Chris Bosh out there during crunch time. Spo later said having Bosh out there "wouldn't be fair to him."
Congratulations, fuckstick. You are now officially on the chopping block.
Shove my balls right into a Cuisinart blender and press liquefy!
And Heat fans in attendance at the Triple-A, please go get fucked with a circus midget you good for nothing shitbags. Each and every one of you who forked over your kids' college fund to sit and watch a crucial basketball game like it was a fucking piano recital.
Cockhats.
Game 6 is in Boston. Save us, Chris Bosh. You're our only hope....
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2012/06/heat_choke_away_game_5_one_los.php
Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!
The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two games in a row.
And yet, of course, the Heat found a way to lose 94-90 and are now headed back to Douchelandia one loss away from LeBromageddon.
Rajon Rondo shot 3-for-15. Paul Pierce 6-for-9. Ray Allen 2-for-9.
Think about that for a minute.
You can't, can you?
The left-hand part of your brain just looked at the right-hand part of your brain and said, "Meh, Imma go take a shit and then go to sleep."
It's official. The Miami Heat's role players suck the shit out a camel's asshole with a goddamn whirly straw. While the Celtics have guys who can knock down threes even during broken plays, the Heat's alleged three-point specialists -- Chalmers, Battier, Miller, Jones -- are as ineffective shooting three pointers as a guy trying to fuck an ostrich.
Missing wide-open shots and then getting absolutely eviscerated by a lack of transition defense against a team that can hit lights out jumpers earns you a full-fledged car battery enema.
Look at the stats below. Look at the points scored by all players not named L. James or D. Wade. And then slam your dick in a waffle iron:
The Celtics won last night while being very old and being mostly shitty thanks mainly to Miami's two biggest problems: No point guard and no big man. As bad as Boston was offensively, their entire highlight reel from last night is Kevin Garnett throwing down alley-oop dunks from Rondo. Over and over and over again until we all collectively shat a Buick. And while Chris Bosh's return was pretty awesome, the Heat still had no answer for a seven foot old asshole who scored 26 points (mostly in the paint) and grabbed 11 rebounds.
Then there was the lack of simply being the Miami Heat. As this series has rolled ever so slowly into the black maw of shittery, the Heat have gone from being a transition offensive juggernaut, to a half-court, standing-around, pass-pass-pass-JUMPSHOT-miss! basketball team. A lot of this is because this team has missed Chris Bosh more than any team can possibly miss their third best player. And a lot of this is Boston's defense, which not only forced Miami into a brick laying sack of monkey dicks, but forced both LeBron James and Dwyane Wade into lulls, where they completely disappeared and were lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Suck. That shouldn't be a big deal when you have competent role players (like say, Oklahoma City when Kevin Durant struggles). But with this team, it remains LeWade or Bust.
We're not big on criticizing coaching around here. Coaching is important, but it doesn't play the biggest role of all, which is scoring, defending, rebounding and not throwing up into your pants when the game is on the line.
But Erik Spoelstra needs to have an entire beehive shoved right into his anal cavity today. While Spo is an intelligent guy who knows Xs and Os better than any of us, he's also a goddamn Vulcan when it comes to in-game decisions. The Celtics have effectively run the alley-oop-to-Garnett play out of timeouts roughly a billion times this series, and Spo has not been able to recognize it or answer it. Spo also has a knack for sticking to lineups that might have worked a few games ago, but in the current situation is an open wounded clusterfuck. The biggest penis sandwich last night was taking Norris Cole out of the game in favor of a completely worthless Mario Chalmers. Oh and not having Chris Bosh out there during crunch time. Spo later said having Bosh out there "wouldn't be fair to him."
Congratulations, fuckstick. You are now officially on the chopping block.
Shove my balls right into a Cuisinart blender and press liquefy!
And Heat fans in attendance at the Triple-A, please go get fucked with a circus midget you good for nothing shitbags. Each and every one of you who forked over your kids' college fund to sit and watch a crucial basketball game like it was a fucking piano recital.
Cockhats.
Game 6 is in Boston. Save us, Chris Bosh. You're our only hope....
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2012/06/heat_choke_away_game_5_one_los.php
That little clip of Wade just about sums it up right now...Damon Bruce had the funniest shit today about D. Wade's glasses....I was in tears.....D. Wade is a dope player, but his antics and contridictions have been on blast in these playoffs and he's losing fans...Yes he is a top player, but he cries and bitches to much...
Damon Bruce goes offe here on todays show hour 1...Go to the 3:10 mark..
http://www.knbr.com/ShowsSchedule/DamonBruce/tabid/1749/Default.aspx
Damon Bruce goes offe here on todays show hour 1...Go to the 3:10 mark..
http://www.knbr.com/ShowsSchedule/DamonBruce/tabid/1749/Default.aspx
I mean they have a shot but it is very unlikely. but they will contend and they wont lay down for any team no matter how injured they are. but yeah your seeing it differently then i am. i watch every game and see us go down like flies every year and we still make noise regardless of our injuries. we are an elite team when healthy and a damn good one when we are injured.
I think we match up well against the spurs and have a chance to steal a chip if we face them. OKC is just so damn fast and powerful i dont see us beating them but maybe they will fold since it will be most of the teams 1st time being there, thats all i'd rely on against them lol. but fully healthy we would easily win the east IMO and have a 50/50 chance at winning it all against any west team, celts are very good against the west.
agreed. i still hate my owner from that dumbass trade he did. i get it he was nervous the good days were past perk cause of his knee injury but we got shit players for him. we did get jeff green but he's been injured all year and the other french dude aint even on the team anymore and he sucked anyway.
I think we match up well against the spurs and have a chance to steal a chip if we face them. OKC is just so damn fast and powerful i dont see us beating them but maybe they will fold since it will be most of the teams 1st time being there, thats all i'd rely on against them lol. but fully healthy we would easily win the east IMO and have a 50/50 chance at winning it all against any west team, celts are very good against the west.
agreed. i still hate my owner from that dumbass trade he did. i get it he was nervous the good days were past perk cause of his knee injury but we got shit players for him. we did get jeff green but he's been injured all year and the other french dude aint even on the team anymore and he sucked anyway.
Chris Bosh is expected to play more minutes in Game 6 than he did in Game 5.
Bosh returned to action for the first time in three weeks, playing 14 minutes in Miami's 94-90 loss to the Celtics.
"I'm still going through that thought process," Erik Spoelstra said after the Heat wrapped up practice in Miami before traveling to Boston. "But I think he'll be able to handle a bigger load of minutes, and it'll be based more on how he'll feel during the game."
Bosh suffered a strained abdominal muscle on May 13 in Game 1 of the conference semifinals against Indiana.
http://espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/mia...on-celtics-chris-bosh-play-larger-role-game-6
Bosh returned to action for the first time in three weeks, playing 14 minutes in Miami's 94-90 loss to the Celtics.
"I'm still going through that thought process," Erik Spoelstra said after the Heat wrapped up practice in Miami before traveling to Boston. "But I think he'll be able to handle a bigger load of minutes, and it'll be based more on how he'll feel during the game."
Bosh suffered a strained abdominal muscle on May 13 in Game 1 of the conference semifinals against Indiana.
http://espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/mia...on-celtics-chris-bosh-play-larger-role-game-6
Great video of Pietrus spacing out and Garnett putting him in check twice couldnt find it on youtube
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh7smZOoAOL1W3p2XF
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh7smZOoAOL1W3p2XF
THIS IS GONN B A GOOD GAME. MAYBE SUMTHN LIKE LAST NIGHT. HEAT GONNA COME OUT FIRED UP CAN THE CELTICS MAKE A RUN.........JUST 2 SAY I NEVER REALLY LIKE RONDO MYSELF OF COURSE IM A BULLS FAN! IF U KNOW BASKETBALL THOUGH THEN U KNOW HE IS THE REASON WHY THE CELTICS ARE WHERE THEY R. SOMETIMES I WISH D. ROSE WOULD PLAY MORE LIKE HIM RONDO IS ON SOME MAGIC JOHNSON TYPE SHIIT.
Its already too late. He gets crushed no matter what. If he dishes the ball out at the last second while he's getting triple teamed, he gets labeled as a pussy. If he takes the shot and misses it, hes a choker. If they win a NBA Finals, it was suppose to happen. If he doesnt win a NBA Finals with the Heat, he's a complete failure.
Thats what happens when the media labels you as the "KING" and you run with it by having a big ass "CHOSEN1" tat on your back, guarantee 8 championships when your contract is only 6 years and claim that its gonna be easy once the season starts.
He put all that on himself so fuck LeBitch.
Thats what happens when the media labels you as the "KING" and you run with it by having a big ass "CHOSEN1" tat on your back, guarantee 8 championships when your contract is only 6 years and claim that its gonna be easy once the season starts.
He put all that on himself so fuck LeBitch.