BLack Men

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

My homegirl posted this on another site and I thought it was a good statement she made so I wanted to share it with yall!

Not to be a hater, but, what trips me out most is black men who say that they want a drama free relationship with no games and silly tricks and when you give them what they ask for, they go crazy. It`s like they can`t function without the drama running through their veins. Do our blackmen have a deficiency for drama? Man, I am still trying to figure that one out.

The truth is, what is beautiful and what is precious and what is lovely and what is drama free to some men, isn`t necessarily what is for most. That`s why it hurts when you know you are a good woman and not a LITTLE GIRL playing the game, you know that you are successful, you know that you are beautiful, you know that you are drama free and you know that you are independent and some of our black men come along and don`t know how to treat you. The truth of knowing that fact, hurts like hell. It hurts a good woman to see a silly woman take advantage of our good black men and it hurts even more to see our black men accept and settle for that.

No disrespect to the white men out here but a true sista wants a strong black man. A man that shares her heritage. A man that knows from whence they came and not ashamed to build from that. A man that understands the struggle of being black and becoming successful because of his blackness. Hmmm. That sound kind of odd huh? Well, it`s not really odd. It`s fact. Blacks are a strong people and we have to stick together and build together for the other races to actually see that. We can`t tear each other down and accept less as comfort. BUT, My question is reading, why are they so hard to find? Why are all the good ones with the woman that are not worthy? Help a sista understand.I have this saying when I speak on relationships: "A good black woman is a terrible thing to throw away." Brotha`s, stop throwing the good sista`s away in exchange for a woman that has no intentions on building a relationship of strong foundation, moral and value. You are suppose to keep those who build you up and shed those tears for you!

Since I started my page I have had notes saying that I am being sterotypical of all black men. I disagree. I am stating SOME men not ALL men. That`s why I ask the question of "Where are all the good ones?" I know they are out there. I just want the LOCATION! (smiles)

I also must let the ladies that do have good men know to, "TREAT HIM WITH THE RESPECT THAT HE DESERVES! HE WILL RECIPROCATE IF HE IS A REAL MAN!" Don`t be a buckethead and throw that good man away because when he get finally gets around to meeting us really good women that has been yearning for him for so long, he`s had it up to here and he`s fed up because you are not doing what a good woman should do. As a result, we who are good don`t reap the rewards of what he was truly made of in the beginning before you torn him down. It takes a man a long time to trust a woman again after he has given her his heart and she so selfishly destroyed it.

I know that statement is going to stir up some heat and put a few panties in a knot. I`m ready for you. Talk to me....

HERESY · Jan 1, 2003

*YOU* NEED TO DWELL ON THAT.

WE HAVE EDJ,NEFAR,4TWIN,AFRICA,NINO BLAKK, PAVLOV,MYSELF AND SEVERAL OTHER BLACK MEN ON THIS SITE. THIS TOPIC IS SOMETHING THAT I WANTED TO START BUT DIDNT WANT TO BRING UP BECAUSE I REALLY DONT LIKE DISCUSSING BLACK *WOMEN* AROUND WHITE *MEN*.

:h:

Blight · Jan 1, 2003

So then whats the source of the problem? I can name a few....... but what would you call it?

FoeTwin · Jan 1, 2003

Where are all the real sistaz at that arent afraid to wash, iron and hang up loads of clothes without being asked to? The woman that wakes up early in the mornin and cooks pancakes or makes a hearty meal that comes with biscuits or cornbread made from scratch? A trustworthy woman that will be down to endure life's harships until the end?

Save for my lil sis, my gramma, and my female cousins by blood, I dont trust women for the most part. Alot of young females are running game pullin wool down over the eyes of men who think they have really found a woman worthy as companion only to find out how rougish and deceptive her real personality is once the truth comes to light...
Like this broad I used to date seven years ago that I saw lastnight for the first time in 5 years...when we were together I gave her my heart, my time, my companionship, and then she goes out and sleeps with my enemy!! I never once tried to push up on her because I was takin the slow route...I guess she was just a closet whore becasue after we broke up, she went w/ one of my potnaz and ended up sleepin w/ all his boys, and she knew he was whoring around w/ other chicks and they both didnt really care.......they were using eachother for sex and money...so I guess I'm glad I didnt sleep w/ her, but I learned a lesson. You cant be nice to females all the time..some of them are used to getting treated like shit, so when they get a good man that really loves them they dont know how to maintain a stable relationship..one built on respect, communication, and trust, ya know?

But black females, I LOVE Y'ALL!! But how come so many of you all are so materialistic? You really think I'm bout to drop two bills on a Fendi purse when I can to go the grocery store and get a plastic bag for free and write "trendy" on it with a permanent black marker and be through wit it becasue it'll serve the same purpose as the 200 dollar one?? I try not to be too cheap, but it's hard times round my way, so I'm tryin to ball on a budget, ya feel?? I aint bout that drama myself...what I need is a down azz chick that I can show my sensitive side to...sometimes I just need to be hugged and loved, held in the arms of a faithful woman who I know I would die for...

Somebody please slap me, am I still dreaming?

I believe in true love though..

n9newunsixx5150 · Jan 1, 2003

@LadyLane

So, a black woman isn't "true" if she falls for a white, latino, asian, (etc.) man? Biased article. Racist also. Not deeply racist, but it is the fundamental thought behind all of the race hate we have endured. I am not customary to putting it like this but; open your eyes to greater reality, people. We need to grow past these petty differences. They mean nothing. It is understandable to identify with a group of people because of certain likenesses. But, to do this while simultaneously disregarding the fullness of the reality is HALF-WISE, if even that! You said all true black woman love black men. That makes as much sense as if I said, "All true black men play basketball." Do you think everyone will agree with that statement? Also, it is not a "black" struggle, it is not a "white" struggle. It is a human struggle (period.)
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@Heresy

we're all adults here. Skin color and ethnic background are not excuses to separate yourself into a group avoiding others not of your "type". Your words as well as the actions that play off these words keeps the racist mind alive. You just keep contributing to that which has been a sorrow and a burden of ignorance in the world and most definitely in this country's history. I have no biases, Heresy. If you wish to speak your views on black women you can very well do that. I have been with many "true" black women before. Whatever your reasons be for what you typed you still are not justified in applying your half-wise, biased, racist views upon the full reality of things..............

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

@FoeTwin
On the behalf of my fellow sista's I apologize for the experiences you have been faced with. Not all womyn will do you like that even though at times it seems as if all womyn are like my homegirl calls em' "BucketHeads". Your right! Alot of womyn now day's are taking men for granted and treating yall WRONG! Alot of womyn don't know how to cook or keep their houses clean and this is really sad! They act as if their pride will not allow them to be the womyn they are supposed to be! I'm not going to sit up here and belittle my own sex but when it comes to truth and facts this is it! Womyn today need to really stop and take a look at them selves, are you TRULY a good womyn? Yeah your down to ride on some shit talkin fools but does that make you a real womyn or are you truly keeping your man completely happy?

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

@916

First of all this statement was directed to a specific type of audience and was asked if people like you could please not take offense to this. Secondly this is a statement my homegirl has posted in another site and I wanted to share this with the black men on this board and she is not yet logged into this board to defend herself. Third of all........Your acting as if freedom of speech does not exist............You were not asked to agree with this statement nor were you asked to reply to it........not to be rude, I am fully aware that this is a public forum but none of this was even directed to you or meant to disrespect any one it was "NOT" directed at!

FoeTwin · Jan 1, 2003

@n9:eventhough your statements were not directed specifically at me I would like to speak on your view of the article being "racist" which it it clearly not...it represents the ideas / opinions/ feelings of a black woman who wnats to be with a real black man...it's nothing more than that, other races weren't mentioned for the simple fact it would have been off topic...People thought Marcus Garvey and Malcom X were racist too becasue they advocated for and openly expressed their love for the poeple of color worldwide and why we should get smart, band together and make economic advances in this crooked nation that have robbed our anscetors blind since the beginning...it's called BLACK NATIONALISM!! And I dont know what you are talking about, but Heresy is on point when he says that this nation was built off the backs of blacks and mexicans, or when he says that this country has benefitted from both the overt and covert exploitation of the poeple of color.....I know you didnt read it in a book in high school anywhere while you were being systematically brainwashed in class, but the white superintendent who okayed the school curriculum didn't want you to know the truth anyway...he's more concerned that you learn American his_story the Eurocentric way, starting with G. Washington all the way to G. Dubya so keep that in mind when you accuse someone of being "ignorant" or "racist" or "half-witted" !!!

HERESY · Jan 1, 2003

[QUOTE@Heresy we're all adults here. Skin color and ethnic background are not excuses to separate yourself into a group avoiding others not of your "type". Your words as well as the actions that play off these words keeps the racist mind alive. You just keep contributing to that which has been a sorrow and a burden of ignorance in the world and most definitely in this country's history. I have no biases, Heresy. If you wish to speak your views on black women you can very well do that. I have been with many "true" black women before. Whatever your reasons be for what you typed you still are not justified in applying your half-wise, biased, racist views upon the full reality of things..............[/QUOTE] how are my words contributing to racism? yes i agree with you. if i wish to speak my views i WILL do so however i dont want to do it. how is that racist? how am i applying half-wise, biased, racist views on anything? how do you get racism from the following?

please explain your post to me.

@4 twin excellent post

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

@FoeTwin

I thank you for sticking up for this article and for noticing that it represents the ideas / opinions/ feelings of a black woman who wants to be with a real black man. Your absolutely RIGHT thare was no intent to disprespect "ANY" race. And it "WAS" to express the love for ones race!

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

@Heresy I thank you for posting and I understand why you choose NOT to elaborate on this subject being that some people take inner expression as insults, when they are only meant to educate and uplift............!

Sergeant Hustle · Jan 1, 2003

I think every woman wants a man that will treat her right and blahzay blah....most would prefer that person to be someone who they identify with and who can relate to their struggle as an individual.....what homegirl says makes sense.

The reality is that more and more people are going outside of their "race" to date because they are not finding what they are looking for in their own. My best friend who was born and raised in a black family recently married a white man. She fell in love with him and she just got over the expectation of others that she should marry a black man and is happier then I have ever seen her. Not to say she couldn't find the same happiness with a black man, but plain and simple things just didn't play out that way. There will always be some things he will never understand about her and likewise, but those things are discussed and worked through and are not a big enough factor to make their relationship deteriorate.

Sergeant Hustle · Jan 1, 2003

@ :h:

no need to speak on it....i understand you not wanting to air dirty laundry in front of others and i respect that.

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

Sergeant Hustle said:

I think every woman wants a man that will treat her right and blahzay blah....most would prefer that person to be someone who they identify with and who can relate to their struggle as an individual.....what homegirl says makes sense.

The reality is that more and more people are going outside of their "race" to date because they are not finding what they are looking for in their own. My best friend who was born and raised in a black family recently married a white man. She fell in love with him and she just got over the expectation of others that she should marry a black man and is happier then I have ever seen her. Not to say she couldn't find the same happiness with a black man, but plain and simple things just didn't play out that way. There will always be some things he will never understand about her and likewise, but those things are discussed and worked through and are not a big enough factor to make their relationship deteriorate.

And thare is nothing wrong with inner racial dating!

FoeTwin · Jan 1, 2003

Lady Lane said:

@lady:

no need to apologize, i know there is someone for me out there somewhere...
my girlie sgt hustle says them skainch wenchez practice chicken-headism...ya know the ghetto rats that are quick to stop the first vehicle they see beatin outta control rollin on nice rims? the same gal that was lettin 35 year old dudes knock e'm down back when they was in the jr high and now they got they lips poked out because dont nobody want e'm becasue they still hot as a texas wildfire! i cant funk wit'em...

and the products of interracial relationships are beautiful creations!
i didnt start dating black girls until i moved down south and saw how scary the white females are....they arent risking their reputation to date a black man in public c'mon now

HERESY · Jan 1, 2003

@hustler 1 good lookin out.

@lane ty

@4 twin lol@the pic in your sig!!!

:H:

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

FoeTwin · Jan 1, 2003

Sergeant Hustle said:

Right Right....

Sergeant Hustle said:

TRUE TRUE..

Sergeant Hustle said:

My father threatened to disown me and my grandma said she would take me out of the family will if I ever marreid a white woman.. but I aint really stuttin nunna that cause REAL love is colorblind...It's all ONE BLOOD so they can just be mad...
My moms totally supported me dating whoever made me happy, not for their ethnicity...the reason why I never dated inside my race up north is becasue the majority of the black girls that were available were always actin ghetto and ish always dissin becasue I had a proportionate amount of white friends as I had to non white one's, becasue I skate/snowboarded... they loved to ridicule and call me whiteboy, but on the flipside they nicknamed me "darkman" becasue I came back chocolate after I moved back from da 0H'10 .... I would always show them respect and flirt, but they were always actin like they were too good to talk to me and would mug when they saw me walkin with my non black girlfriend...

n9newunsixx5150 · Jan 1, 2003

@LadyLane

quote:
"I know that statement is going to stir up some heat and put a few panties in a knot. I`m ready for you."

Well, maybe you weren't ready.....
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quote:
@Heresy I thank you for posting and I understand why you choose NOT to elaborate on this subject being that some people take inner expression as insults, when they are only meant to educate and uplift............!

Yeah, I know this one isn't for me, but I have something to say regardless....
Educate and uplift? You know, the members of the KKK like to "educate and uplift" each other. Remember, I am only speaking on the phrase about "true" black women. Thats the only discrepancy I had with your post. I have every right to see something wrong and call it out. That phrase is purely opinion. Perhaps you should enlighten your friend to something called "I" statements. For instance: she, instead could say, "I feel many black women want a strong black man in their lives". Notice the "I feel" part. Whenever a black woman decides to go after a man who isn't black does not make her less of a woman or less "black". But then again, what is black? I thought it was a color. I think its great that we, after all these years from being a child and learning our colors, can still identify them. The fact is, people may read your post and have some criticism to say about it. You said you were ready for it. That one sentence wasn't the whole point of your post, but its when these little things slip by as being acceptable that keeps us subliminally thinking that "this is the way it is..."
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@FoeTwin

I understand what was "meant" in that phrase. But, it is important that we try to be impeccable with our word. There are no sides! There is not a black side. There is not a white side. You see.... If, a while back, white men took black people and used them as slaves; they looked down upon them and made them feel like they were lower beings; it is more than acceptable that the natural reaction is to rebel to the opposite extreme. Which is what has been and is going on. Now, how many times must the pendulum swing toward these extremes before it begins to slow down and balance at the center? These extremes meet. Before, blacks were separated in a negative manner to make them feel small and weak. Now, blacks, in response, have done the extreme opposite by uplifting themselves as a still "separated from everyone else" group. Same thing is happening now in essence that it was in the slave days just to the opposite degree. Separation from those who are "different" got us here. How can separation lead us to an understanding?? The essence of these topics is simple. most people wish not to see it this way though. But, I guarantee that with the way we perceive these issues, we are only keeping that pendulum swinging ever more. Everybody is doing this, white people, black people. We can't point fingers at any one "group" (if such a thing really exists). The sooner we realize what it is we are doing the sooner we can move on. I personally think it is great to be uplifting of people. But, how come everyone has to uplift a group over the whole? Whether they say it or not, to uplift a group of people because of the very thing they were separated for in an unfair discrimination is just as racist.
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@Heresy

The only thing I really was pertaining to in your post was when you said you don't talk about black women around white men. If you wish to better explain your reasons I am open to hear them. But, that phrase alone seems racist. I can only go by what you write, so that is why I am now asking for a better explanation.....

Lady Lane · Jan 1, 2003

@916 the homegirl posted this on another site........she isn't even on this site..........

BLack Men

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THE HIDDEN HAND...

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Anti-feminist

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THE HIDDEN HAND...

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THE HIDDEN HAND...

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Anti-feminist

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