I'm like kurt cobain i should start doing heroin
Early '93:
“I’ve been suffering from chronic stomach pain every day of my life for six years now. I’ve been to about eight different gastrointestinal doctors and it’s always been diagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome.
Imagine the worst stomach flu you’ve ever had, every single day. And it was worse when I ate, because once the meal would touch that red area I would hyperventilate, my arms would turn numb, and I would vomit. I was suicidal on our last tour. I really wanted to blow my head off. And so when we got home I decided to do heroin every day because obviously a heavy narcotic is going to stop the pain. "
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“My body is damaged from music in two ways, I have a red irritation in my stomach. It’s psychosomatic, caused by all the anger and the screaming. I have scoliosis, where the curvature of your spine is bent, and the weight of my guitar has made it worse. I’m always in pain, and that adds to the anger in our music. I’m grateful to it, in a way.
I tried everything I could think of: change of diet, pills, stopped drinking, stopped smoking. Nothing worked, and I just decided that if I’m going to feel like a junkie every morning, vomiting every day, then I might as well take the substance that kills that pain. That’s not the main reason why I took heroin, but it has more to do with it than most people think.’
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Late 93’:
“My stomach isn’t bothering me anymore. I’m eating. I ate a huge pizza last night. It was so nice to be able to do that. And it just raises my spirits. But then again, I was always afraid that if I lost the stomach problem, I wouldn’t be as creative. Who knows?