Freedom Town: Aesthetic and Recreational Lawn Alternative
- Thread starter BASEDVATO
- Start date
You guys should see my life now. I wake up at 1:00 pm and have cereal then I go on my laptop and stay on the internet doing pointless things until 10:00 pm at which point I have dinner then go back on my laptop until 12:00 (midnight). I brush my teeth and lay on my bed playing games on my smartphone until 2:00 am. I sleep. I wake up 1:00 pm and the cycle repeats. I do this to escape reality, I have so much self hatred and am very unattractive. I have suicidal thoughts every day. I haven't done anything of accomplishment in my life. I feel very nervous talking to anyone even a short conversation. I'm afraid of living and scared of dying. I'm 19 right now and don't know how long I can keep myself going as I lost interest in even the most basic activities. I eat and drink only the bare amount I need to survive and don't have any motivation to do anything as I am a failure. I don't know If anyone will read this but I don't know what to do anymore.
On 22 February 1890, Van Gogh suffered a new crisis that was "the starting point for one of the saddest episodes in a life already rife with sad events," according to Hulsker. From February until the end of April he was unable to bring himself to write, though he did continue to draw and paint,[140]*which follows a pattern begun the previous May, in 1889. For a year he "had fits of despair and hallucination during which he could not work, and in between them, long clear months in which he could and did, punctuated by extreme visionary ecstasy."[152]On 27 July 1890, aged 37, Van Gogh is believed to have shot himself in the chest with a revolver (although no gun was ever found).[153]*There were no witnesses and the location where he shot himself is unclear. Ingo Walther writes, "Some think Van Gogh shot himself in the wheat field that had engaged his attention as an artist of late; others think he did it at a barn near the inn."[154]*Biographer*David Sweetmanwrites that the bullet was deflected by a rib bone and passed through his chest without doing apparent damage to internal organs—probably stopped by his spine. He was able to walk back to the*Auberge Ravoux, and there was attended by two physicians; however, without a surgeon present the bullet could not be removed. After tending to him as best they could, the two physicians left Van Gogh alone in his room, smoking his pipe. The following morning (Monday), Theo rushed to be with Van Gogh as soon as he was notified, and found him in surprisingly good shape, but within hours Van Gogh began to fail due to an untreated infection caused by the wound. Van Gogh died in the evening, 29 hours after he supposedly shot himself. According to Theo, his brother's last words were: "The sadness will last forever."[153][155]
I beat my previous high score
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BUTCHER 206
