The Come Up thread
- Thread starter CHAPO GUZMAN
- Start date
When I got married, we held three wedding parties. One in my wife's hometown, one in the city we live in, and one in my hometown. Where we live we celebrated in a restaurant of a 5 star hotel near our home. When the party was over, we payed, and received tax receipts which have scratch fields similar to lottery tickets (Chinese way of trying to get businesses to pay taxes - they have to buy the receipts, if customer doesn't take it, business doesn't pay tax, so let's introduce a little lottery thing on them). Long story short, my sister in law scratched and found that one receipt said RMB 10,000 (about US$ 1,650)...sweet end to a nice night, even though it turned out is was only RMB 8,000 in the end, with us paying 2,000 first and getting back 10,000 from the tax government 2 weeks later...to this day we have never met anybody that got more than RMB 10 out of those receipts....
Cool story, breh.
Cool story, breh.
I know some guys that live up by the gorge amphitheater in the middle of washifas and they used to go the campgrounds after any big festival, the morning of the last day and just scour the grounds. Biggest scores I remember hearing about was one of them found $1200 in cash once in a wallet and another guy found three sheets of blotter acid in a backpack after a Phish show. Scores like that were rare but they always came back with cameras, Ipods, phones, bags of weed. They would turn the phones and walltets (after emptying the cash of course) into security. Tons and tons of beer and booze too. Probably underage nerds that lived with their folks and were afraid to take it home.
When I was about 7 or 8, my father took me and a friend of mine to a low level soccer game. There were about 100 - 200 people watching though and many drank beer. We would go around and collect the empty bottles and get money. We made about US$15. Went to Mc Donald's, ate as much as we could and then went to the toy store next door and played Metroid on NES all day lol. We felt like kings!
Also came up so many times working in the meat dept at grocery stores. We used to sell prime beef steaks at $27 a lb and since I closed every night in the meat dept. i'd just wrap them up and either put them in my pocket and jack em, or ring them up as something else for like 4.99... I ate good as a muthafucka! Cuz on top of that we'd cook up prime burgers or steaks almost every night in the back room... I fuckin miss those come uppins!
One time prolly like 09 i was kickin it with my homegirl and some random ass nigga and a lil white bitch. My homegirl is just kinda like a friend, shes like one of the homies n shit. I dont know random nig and white bitch, only reason we're kickin it wit em is because they owed my homegirl some money somehow. It was only like 50 i think
Anyway were ridin around with them to the atm, check cashing place etc and gettin pretty high as were doing it, marijuana, cocaine, etc... So they dont get any of her money, but then next thing theyre talkin about gettin a hotel with wi-fi... Thats when i figure out white bitch is a craigslist whore, and were going to a hotel to sit and wait for her to try to get a date.
But of course cocaine is a helluva drug and my homegirl is not catching onto shit. So we go check in to the Dirt Under A Hard Rock Hotel on santa rosa ave... We kick it, get beer, random nigga leaves for some reason. White bitch spills cranberry/vodka all over her pants and my homegirls shoes and she get hella mad. Then white bitch goes in the bathroom to get in the shower, but i notice she left the door open. Thats when a lightbulb went on and i realized my car is 3 blocks away... I asked her "can we rob them?" And she says she didnt think they had any money but ill check. I say "you are a retard they have somethin if they just rented a hotel room!" So shes like oh yea n gets hellla mad, creeps in the bathroom while white bitch is in the shower and grabs her wallet and wants to leave but im like "nah just the money and put it back".
She pulls out a faaat wad of money and just starts walking toward the door and im like "u dumbfuck go put her wallet back so she dont notice right away and start calling cops!" She sneaks back in the bathroom and takes like a whole minute so im trippin. But then she came out n didnt get caught.
So we sneak out the room and bounce the fuck out, walk around the corner, and run to my car... We make the getaway, but im still trippin like "they got yo phone number and im thinkin they gonna call"... She says "oh he dont even have a phone". Im like "but white bitch yo number" and shes like "nope i deleted my number from her phone".
I was like yeeeeea bwooooy how much is there, she counts it n says "i think this is their rent money or something"... It was about $800.
So theeeen... Out of nowhere shes like "hey you wanna buy a phone or a laptop? Ahehehe". She took all of their shit. We sold th laptop for 200$ and she used the stolen phone to get a new number so they couldnt call her after they look up their phone records
I came up on basically 400$ that time plus 85 for the computer because she spent part of my share on food
Anyway were ridin around with them to the atm, check cashing place etc and gettin pretty high as were doing it, marijuana, cocaine, etc... So they dont get any of her money, but then next thing theyre talkin about gettin a hotel with wi-fi... Thats when i figure out white bitch is a craigslist whore, and were going to a hotel to sit and wait for her to try to get a date.
But of course cocaine is a helluva drug and my homegirl is not catching onto shit. So we go check in to the Dirt Under A Hard Rock Hotel on santa rosa ave... We kick it, get beer, random nigga leaves for some reason. White bitch spills cranberry/vodka all over her pants and my homegirls shoes and she get hella mad. Then white bitch goes in the bathroom to get in the shower, but i notice she left the door open. Thats when a lightbulb went on and i realized my car is 3 blocks away... I asked her "can we rob them?" And she says she didnt think they had any money but ill check. I say "you are a retard they have somethin if they just rented a hotel room!" So shes like oh yea n gets hellla mad, creeps in the bathroom while white bitch is in the shower and grabs her wallet and wants to leave but im like "nah just the money and put it back".
She pulls out a faaat wad of money and just starts walking toward the door and im like "u dumbfuck go put her wallet back so she dont notice right away and start calling cops!" She sneaks back in the bathroom and takes like a whole minute so im trippin. But then she came out n didnt get caught.
So we sneak out the room and bounce the fuck out, walk around the corner, and run to my car... We make the getaway, but im still trippin like "they got yo phone number and im thinkin they gonna call"... She says "oh he dont even have a phone". Im like "but white bitch yo number" and shes like "nope i deleted my number from her phone".
I was like yeeeeea bwooooy how much is there, she counts it n says "i think this is their rent money or something"... It was about $800.
So theeeen... Out of nowhere shes like "hey you wanna buy a phone or a laptop? Ahehehe". She took all of their shit. We sold th laptop for 200$ and she used the stolen phone to get a new number so they couldnt call her after they look up their phone records
I came up on basically 400$ that time plus 85 for the computer because she spent part of my share on food
A cashier gave me change for 20 once when I gave them a 10. I said "excuse me miss, but you gave me the wrong amount of change." Then she got scared and I said "lol don't worry about it, it was a simple mistake, I gave you ten dollars and you mustve thought I gave you 20. Just call your manager and we'll fix it, the store will probably make you pay if we dont". So she called the manager and they counted the till and fixed the mistake while I was telling the manager it was mostly my fault because I distracted her with small talk, and she always does a great job and I'd like to fill out a positive feedback comment card. So I filled one out and thanked everybody and they thanked me for being an honest customer. And I said no, thank YOU for the great service.
I came up on some good feels that day
I came up on some good feels that day
And one time i made like 7 grand flipping a ten pack... That was sketchy as fuck tho because the chick who was the only link between me and these random ass niggas from west oakland... Failed to appear. So im dealin with these niggas on the phone, they pull up to the house im at, and they appearantly just got robbed like a week before so theyre all wierded out theyre like oh ima turn around n back in.
And them acting so sketched out made my people all sketched out. And i got a lil sketched out, not because these niggas when they showed me that they really had the money and it happened to be a .45 auto next to it in the center console... But because the dude whos house it was, i had drove my car over there wit my boy a week earlier to sell him a...i dont even want to say the name of it because i heard thru the grapevine that, well if i had to guess its just a giant antique item from wwsomething but part of the reason i heard its so expensive is because it still works and still has the 7.62 pages in the magazine from what i hear... It felt like i was living the movie wonderland or something lol
I dont wanna tell the whole story but... Their first words after they pulled up was "which one of yall strapped?" Lol so it was lookin pretty ugly at first but i calmed errybody on both sides down... I think i deserve every bit of that money just for having the mouthpiece to have these niggas not just start shooting each other
And them acting so sketched out made my people all sketched out. And i got a lil sketched out, not because these niggas when they showed me that they really had the money and it happened to be a .45 auto next to it in the center console... But because the dude whos house it was, i had drove my car over there wit my boy a week earlier to sell him a...i dont even want to say the name of it because i heard thru the grapevine that, well if i had to guess its just a giant antique item from wwsomething but part of the reason i heard its so expensive is because it still works and still has the 7.62 pages in the magazine from what i hear... It felt like i was living the movie wonderland or something lol
I dont wanna tell the whole story but... Their first words after they pulled up was "which one of yall strapped?" Lol so it was lookin pretty ugly at first but i calmed errybody on both sides down... I think i deserve every bit of that money just for having the mouthpiece to have these niggas not just start shooting each other
Haha that happened to me but on purpose
Theres this beezy that works at ampm downtown... She is a pretty big mexican chick who actually has a cute face but breaks my fat bitch rule(which is im a big guy so no bitches that are bigger/heavier than me). She decided that she was in love with me and that she would hit on me and be as akward as possibe everytime. Usually she'll just move all slow and wierd on purpose and try to talk all soft and sexy, and usually will just mumble "i like your shirt" or something...
But then she got worse to the point where shes just sitting down staring at me and speaking spanish to this older lady. The lady lightly laughed at the first two things she said to her but on the third thing she started laughing but had that look like "ha ha but oh my god"
And last time i went in like a month ago hella early like 7am lookin all gangely n shit all tired got half a beard, im like "five$ on number 2" hand her a ten dollar bill... She puts my ten in the register then takes my ten out of the register and hands it back to me blaitantly, as not to get caught but still made it ovious to me. And the way she was acting was sooo wierd she looked exactly like "heres some money i want you to go get some shaving cream and shave that beard, and then i can use some to shave my twat for you because im going to rape you"
Shes fuckin shameless and its to the point to where i cant even go in there because im afraid im going to bust up laughing, and i dont want to upset her because idk how stable her head is
Theres this beezy that works at ampm downtown... She is a pretty big mexican chick who actually has a cute face but breaks my fat bitch rule(which is im a big guy so no bitches that are bigger/heavier than me). She decided that she was in love with me and that she would hit on me and be as akward as possibe everytime. Usually she'll just move all slow and wierd on purpose and try to talk all soft and sexy, and usually will just mumble "i like your shirt" or something...
But then she got worse to the point where shes just sitting down staring at me and speaking spanish to this older lady. The lady lightly laughed at the first two things she said to her but on the third thing she started laughing but had that look like "ha ha but oh my god"
And last time i went in like a month ago hella early like 7am lookin all gangely n shit all tired got half a beard, im like "five$ on number 2" hand her a ten dollar bill... She puts my ten in the register then takes my ten out of the register and hands it back to me blaitantly, as not to get caught but still made it ovious to me. And the way she was acting was sooo wierd she looked exactly like "heres some money i want you to go get some shaving cream and shave that beard, and then i can use some to shave my twat for you because im going to rape you"
Shes fuckin shameless and its to the point to where i cant even go in there because im afraid im going to bust up laughing, and i dont want to upset her because idk how stable her head is
I could've come up so many times on old people but I'm no scumbag, I've seen them drop money and no one notices, I'll go after them and give them the money they dropped. That goes for anyone. Now if I find it and no ones around that's a clean come up. I once came up on $20 as I was putting money into the meter, crumpled $20 on the floor, smelled like piss too so I got change for it for a cleaner crispier $20. Another time I was walking with my cousin and found a $50. My pops always comes up... One time he was driving n thought he saw a bunch of dollars on the floor, flipped a bitch found $1 spread out total of like $26 in 1's. Most of the time comes up on $20-50 in scratchers once in a while $500+
My mother in law works for some apartments.. She's always first in when people get evicted..
Me and this lady hardly ever talk .. So one day she calls out of nowhere I was thinking it was some kind of emergency or some shit.. She just said hey I need your help with something can you meet me at my job..... So I get there and we go up stairs to an apartment.. And she has a pound of purp and a glock 40.. She says she was cleaning and found it behind the fridge... Sold the weed and split the feria with her.. Kept the glock .. My wife still don't know this story lol
Me and this lady hardly ever talk .. So one day she calls out of nowhere I was thinking it was some kind of emergency or some shit.. She just said hey I need your help with something can you meet me at my job..... So I get there and we go up stairs to an apartment.. And she has a pound of purp and a glock 40.. She says she was cleaning and found it behind the fridge... Sold the weed and split the feria with her.. Kept the glock .. My wife still don't know this story lol
I was at walmart getting some groceries and saw far cry 3 and I've been lightweight wanting to play this game but I ain't wanna spend much money on it. So I decided if its under 20 i'd get it - it had no price. So anyways I bring it with my to the cash register as I'm paying for all my other shit and I ask the girl working how much it is - so she checks the price and tells me 19 so I say sure I'll take it and she puts it in my bag with my other groceries without ringing it through. I thought I was trippin but I looked at the receipt when I got home and it wasn't on it. Free game yeaaaaaah.
