Freedom Town: Aesthetic and Recreational Lawn Alternative
- Thread starter BASEDVATO
- Start date
...just doing my christmas shopping on lunch
Banned in nine countries for its sexual potency, Sex Panther cologne is known to make you an irresistible object of interest to the ladies. Made with bits of real panther, studies show this formidable and pungent cologne works every time, sixty percent of the time.
Banned in nine countries for its sexual potency, Sex Panther cologne is known to make you an irresistible object of interest to the ladies. Made with bits of real panther, studies show this formidable and pungent cologne works every time, sixty percent of the time.
I received this cologne as a gift from my younger brother.
He had saved his money from mowing lawns the entire summer and told me that I was his big bubba and he loved me. I opened the cologne and it's smell lit up my senses in a way that I can not begin to describe.
I wore it to school the next day and noticed that teachers seemed to bend over a lot more in front of me, the girls all seemed to stay near my locker, and the principal called me into his office for a "long talk."
It seems that I have an animal magnetism that can only be explained by the power of this mighty cologne. I have since run out of the cologne and since my mom took away my allowance for molesting a family of badgers(illegal in my county) I have resorted to trying and making my own cologne to wear.
I have tried many things, but most of the time people look at me in disgust and wrinkle their noses as if I am something on the bottom of their shoe that they wish someone had cleaned up before they had stepped in me.
I miss the power that I had over the fairer sex when I wore this cologne. I was the only guy to meet a girl at the movies on Friday, and meeting a girl in this town when they only show a movie twice week? That is a big deal. Usually, we have to make out in the rusted out school park after 11, but the movies you have the cover of darkness to hunt. And that is what I did when I was Sex Panther Johnston. Hunted out the ladies.
Now I cry.
He had saved his money from mowing lawns the entire summer and told me that I was his big bubba and he loved me. I opened the cologne and it's smell lit up my senses in a way that I can not begin to describe.
I wore it to school the next day and noticed that teachers seemed to bend over a lot more in front of me, the girls all seemed to stay near my locker, and the principal called me into his office for a "long talk."
It seems that I have an animal magnetism that can only be explained by the power of this mighty cologne. I have since run out of the cologne and since my mom took away my allowance for molesting a family of badgers(illegal in my county) I have resorted to trying and making my own cologne to wear.
I have tried many things, but most of the time people look at me in disgust and wrinkle their noses as if I am something on the bottom of their shoe that they wish someone had cleaned up before they had stepped in me.
I miss the power that I had over the fairer sex when I wore this cologne. I was the only guy to meet a girl at the movies on Friday, and meeting a girl in this town when they only show a movie twice week? That is a big deal. Usually, we have to make out in the rusted out school park after 11, but the movies you have the cover of darkness to hunt. And that is what I did when I was Sex Panther Johnston. Hunted out the ladies.
Now I cry.
