Ashley Madison leaks could be linked to suicides

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May 13, 2002
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www.socialistworld.net
#87
Before we go any further I want to say that this is a throwback to GOM days. The long ass post that you're about to read does NOT mean I care, am emotionally invested, etc.
Same.

For the record, not that it matters, I don't cheat when I'm in a relationship.



True, but the fact is these people chose not to talk about it (the ones who committed suicide) and now here we are.



Everyone who cheats is a piece of shit. They're participating in the destruction of someone else's relationship. Now granted the relationship could have already been destroyed but the other person, who is left in the dark, doesn't deserve the mistreatment and lies so yeah, if you cheat you're a piece of shit.
The act itself is being a piece of shit, or are you saying everyone who cheats is a piece of shit, always and forever?

Because we can go into multiple layers of this. There's the "I made a mistake and leaned from it" cheater, there's the "I cheat always no matter what" cheater and so on.

Of course there are the "my wife/husband is cheating on me therefore I'm going to cheat on her/him" situations as well, which aren't all that uncommon either.

There are a lot of different types of situations, some fucked up, some perhaps are more understanding.

I've had family and friends in both scenarios. Piece of shit. If you are unhappy there is no need to do ANYTHING on the "downlow." You go to the person and you communicate your needs like an adult. If there is no compromise then you let the person know your actions then and there. There should be no tip toeing around, walking on eggshells or any of that shit. Make your needs known, tell how the other persons actions are impacting the relationship, develop a go forward plan (whatever it may be) and then proceed with it.
Like I said, IDEALLY you should be able to talk to ur significant other about all of this, communication is essential in order to maintain a strong and healthy relationship. Of course I'm not advocating cheating here, and I would always say you gotta communicate whatever problems there are. But again this is some broad stroke here, labeling ever case as one in the same, and that's just not reality.

You can have cases where a woman is essentially blackmailed into staying married with a mentally and/or physically abusive husband where communicating is not an option, nor is simply leaving. Especially in the case of a house wife who has no financial security of their own and is controlled by the husband. We can get into some really fucked up examples here where the woman (in most cases) is essentially trapped and sees no escape. So she goes off and has an affair on the DL to escape the hell she lives in. Piece of shit? Not in my book.



So in other words a person shouldn't stick by their words? If you don't put stock in it why do it in the first place? What you're saying is no different from a cop who takes an oath and then murders a civilian who had his hands up.
No, sticking to your word is cool and it is important, but it's not some "you're going to hell if you break it"! type deal here, that's all I'm saying. Things change.

There are lots of reasons why people get married. Pressure from family, legal reasons, the feeling that it's the "right thing to do" and that it's expected out of you (get a job, get married, have a family, die), pressure from the other person, financial security, arranged marriages, etc. It's not always a fairy tale and it's not always about love.


There are plenty of atheist who have taken marriage vows and it means the world to them. What is your point? That all marriage vows are rooted in religious beliefs?



In some cases this is the truth but in other cases it isn't. Not all societies operate in a patriarchal manner. But yes, cheating is cheating regardless if you're married or not and what does it boil down to? Someone not getting their needs met or not communicating or dropping the ball when it comes to their intrinsic values.
The vows are rooted in religioun, yes.



And pregnancies and significant others that may go the violent route if they find out.



If you say, "we're a team we're going to build together" or "I'm with you and it's me and you against the world" or whatever the fuck, then you need to stick by that. Now granted, over time, things may become stale if that spark is not kept alive and people are going to look, but COMMUNICATION needs to happen. I'm perfectly fine with people having sex outside of their relationship IF both parties are in agreement. It's not just a moral issue but an emotional issue as well and that's what you're failing to grasp here.
I agree, in those basic examples of two people falling in love and getting married that's exactly what you're going to want to do - communication, work it out, fight to save the marriage, etc. Not everything is so simple though. We've already seen in this thread cases of women being sold to men, I've talked about women trapped in abusive relationships and we can go on and on of various examples of people. It's just too simplistic to say everyone who cheats is a POS.



It's not about having sex while you're married, you already said cheating and open relationships are different things. We're talking about CHEATING. I can't think of any time period or culture that endorsed CHEATING. Open relationships, polyamory, bigamy, polygamy, etc are one thing. That happens. Cheating? In most societies and time periods it's shunned on.



We're talking about cheating, comrade. A man is going to look and a woman is going to look. It happens, the problem stems from acting on it and leaving the other person emotionally vulnerable or in the dark. That's the problem here.
Yeah I know, I was just going off in my own direction there for a minute, just talking about sex in general and the restraints we tend to put ourselves based on whatever society we are in.

Basically what I'm saying here is that it's not so black and white and there are a lot of variables at play.
 
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HERESY

THE HIDDEN HAND...
Apr 25, 2002
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www.godscalamity.com
www.godscalamity.com
#89
Same.

For the record, not that it matters, I don't cheat when I'm in a relationship.





The act itself is being a piece of shit, or are you saying everyone who cheats is a piece of shit, always and forever?

Because we can go into multiple layers of this. There's the "I made a mistake and leaned from it" cheater, there's the "I cheat always no matter what" cheater and so on.

Of course there are the "my wife/husband is cheating on me therefore I'm going to cheat on her/him" situations as well, which aren't all that uncommon either.

There are a lot of different types of situations, some fucked up, some perhaps are more understanding.



Like I said, IDEALLY you should be able to talk to ur significant other about all of this, communication is essential in order to maintain a strong and healthy relationship. Of course I'm not advocating cheating here, and I would always say you gotta communicate whatever problems there are. But again this is some broad stroke here, labeling ever case as one in the same, and that's just not reality.

You can have cases where a woman is essentially blackmailed into staying married with a mentally and/or physically abusive husband where communicating is not an option, nor is simply leaving. Especially in the case of a house wife who has no financial security of their own and is controlled by the husband. We can get into some really fucked up examples here where the woman (in most cases) is essentially trapped and sees no escape. So she goes off and has an affair on the DL to escape the hell she lives in. Piece of shit? Not in my book.





No, sticking to your word is cool and it is important, but it's not some "you're going to hell if you break it"! type deal here, that's all I'm saying. Things change.

There are lots of reasons why people get married. Pressure from family, legal reasons, the feeling that it's the "right thing to do" and that it's expected out of you (get a job, get married, have a family, die), pressure from the other person, financial security, arranged marriages, etc. It's not always a fairy tale and it's not always about love.




The vows are rooted in religioun, yes.





I agree, in those basic examples of two people falling in love and getting married that's exactly what you're going to want to do - communication, work it out, fight to save the marriage, etc. Not everything is so simple though. We've already seen in this thread cases of women being sold to men, I've talked about women trapped in abusive relationships and we can go on and on of various examples of people. It's just too simplistic to say everyone who cheats is a POS.





Yeah I know, I was just going off in my own direction there for a minute, just talking about sex in general and the restraints we tend to put ourselves based on whatever society we are in.

Basically what I'm saying here is that it's not so black and white and there are a lot of variables at play.
We've lost our touch. :dead:
 
May 7, 2013
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33°
www.hoescantstopme.biz
#90
Why is the divorce rate >50% in the US? What is the #1 irreconcilable difference? This imaginary thing called cheating. There I summed up the tldr blah. Marriage, another man-made creation that goes against natural law and causes a large group of people to talk sideways while claiming to assume some imaginary moral high ground. You animals are full of yourselves.
 
May 13, 2002
49,944
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Seattle
www.socialistworld.net
#91
Some funny info came out. Of the 39 million members 34 million were men and only 5 million female, most of which were fake profiles to flirt with the men and keep them interested. LMAO! So most of these dudes were talking to men pretending to be women. What a scam.

We've lost our touch. :dead:
On my phone comrade, couldn't type much.This is also a topic that I don't really care about since my argument is extremely specific (whether or not all cheats are pieces of shit). Can't really get into a great debate when there is no passion behind it.
 
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Jul 12, 2002
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#94
Why is the divorce rate >50% in the US? What is the #1 irreconcilable difference? This imaginary thing called cheating. There I summed up the tldr blah. Marriage, another man-made creation that goes against natural law and causes a large group of people to talk sideways while claiming to assume some imaginary moral high ground. You animals are full of yourselves.
I think the problem isn't marriage itself, it's that people rush into marriages. Females just start demanding rings in unstable relationships, or guys propose to a girl because they think it will save the relationship. They get married with mad issues and it's no wonder it doesn't work out. Or they get married because they have a kid together and think that it's in the best interest of the kid. In reality the best interest of the kid would have been to use birth control so the kid was never brought into a fucked up family life in the first place.

People that get married under the age of ~23 are just asking for a divorce down the road. Think about when you were in your early 20's and how different of a person you probably are now. Seems like the people who marry real young are the ones who are least likely to stay married. Same goes for the people who barely live together before they get married. It's stupid as fuck and I see it happen with people I know all around me.
 
May 9, 2002
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#95
I think the problem isn't marriage itself, it's that people rush into marriages. Females just start demanding rings in unstable relationships, or guys propose to a girl because they think it will save the relationship. They get married with mad issues and it's no wonder it doesn't work out. Or they get married because they have a kid together and think that it's in the best interest of the kid. In reality the best interest of the kid would have been to use birth control so the kid was never brought into a fucked up family life in the first place.

People that get married under the age of ~23 are just asking for a divorce down the road. Think about when you were in your early 20's and how different of a person you probably are now. Seems like the people who marry real young are the ones who are least likely to stay married. Same goes for the people who barely live together before they get married. It's stupid as fuck and I see it happen with people I know all around me.
While i dont think you are wrong, i understand what StillHustlin is getting at. Humans are not created to be monogamous. We just arent. However, somewhere down the line, we decided we were, or at least in some format...maybe to own women in a sense, i dont know. But men are programmed to "plant as many seeds as possible". We just are. The idea is for us to have more offspring to cover more territory and survive longer. And I agree with it too. Why do you think men are such "hound dogs"? Because deep inside our minds, we are trying to dominate the world, more or less. Easiest way of doing that? Get as many women pregnant as possible to the chances of that go up.
 
May 6, 2002
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#97
I have a friend who hooked up with a girl from there as well.
Seems like the female profile count is a bit dilluted. Mostly a front to justify then means of what they did.

Either way, not really giving a shit.
 
Apr 25, 2002
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#99
I think the problem isn't marriage itself, it's that people rush into marriages. Females just start demanding rings in unstable relationships, or guys propose to a girl because they think it will save the relationship. They get married with mad issues and it's no wonder it doesn't work out. Or they get married because they have a kid together and think that it's in the best interest of the kid. In reality the best interest of the kid would have been to use birth control so the kid was never brought into a fucked up family life in the first place.

People that get married under the age of ~23 are just asking for a divorce down the road. Think about when you were in your early 20's and how different of a person you probably are now. Seems like the people who marry real young are the ones who are least likely to stay married. Same goes for the people who barely live together before they get married. It's stupid as fuck and I see it happen with people I know all around me.
people under 40 are asking for divorce down the road. you cant possibly know what you really like and need in a partner or what you don't like and really cant be happy with, til your hella older. older folks divorcing in America was pretty rare. now you see 60 somethings getting divorced. everything under that is already game for divorce. shits changing with the generations.

i honestly don't give a shit if a couple is married 50 years. that don't mean the man or the woman was happy, it just means they abided by societys rules. i feel bad for hella these older 70-90 year chicks that were not "in love" or had a piece of shit sucka husband that they had to keep.


my friend banged a fat girl from there when he was dating 9/10 cuz the 9 gave weak head
and people underestimate how important sex and sexual compatibility is.