My ultimate goal is a toilet that can sing different songs, depending on the consistency, texture, and odor of bowl movements. For example, a Mexican food shit would elicit a stirring rendition of "Guadalajara" by Los Tigres Del Norte, mayonnaise or vanilla frosting cake would trigger some MTV whiteboy emo such as Yellowcard, while KFC would be followed by an exuberant Lil Jon advising all to "get crunk".