Somebody sent this to me in an email. I found it pretty funny so I thought I'd share it here.
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What type of metal are you?
OK, this is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a monster. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.
The protagonist arrives riding his mighty dragon, slays the monster with his sword, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
(POWER METAL)
The protagonist arrives, fights the monster, saves the princess and fucks her.
(THRASH METAL)
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the monster, drinks a few beers and rapes the princess.
(HEAVY METAL)
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the monster falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
(FOLK METAL)
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the monster with his mighty axe, skins the monster and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
(VIKING METAL)
The protagonist arrives, kills the monster, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
(DEATH METAL)
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the monster and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
(BLACK METAL)
The protagonist arrives, kills the monster and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
(GORE METAL)
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the monster and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The monster eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
(DOOM METAL)
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The monster kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
(PROGRESSIVE METAL)
The protagonist arrives, the monster laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
(GLAM METAL)
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the monster but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
(NU METAL)
So what type of metal are you?
_________________________________
What type of metal are you?
OK, this is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a monster. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.
The protagonist arrives riding his mighty dragon, slays the monster with his sword, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
(POWER METAL)
The protagonist arrives, fights the monster, saves the princess and fucks her.
(THRASH METAL)
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the monster, drinks a few beers and rapes the princess.
(HEAVY METAL)
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the monster falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
(FOLK METAL)
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the monster with his mighty axe, skins the monster and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
(VIKING METAL)
The protagonist arrives, kills the monster, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
(DEATH METAL)
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the monster and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
(BLACK METAL)
The protagonist arrives, kills the monster and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
(GORE METAL)
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the monster and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The monster eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
(DOOM METAL)
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The monster kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
(PROGRESSIVE METAL)
The protagonist arrives, the monster laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
(GLAM METAL)
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the monster but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
(NU METAL)
So what type of metal are you?
