Vin Diesel is kept alive only from his pure hatred of Tom Brokaw.

[2-0-Sixx]

Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it's wings torn off by Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel has a collection of mounted Oompa Loompa heads in his den.

Everytime Vin Diesel masturbates God kills a Siberian Tiger.

Vin Diesel won control of the Universe after defeating God in a ladder match. He gave God control back after a week, but only out of pity... only out of pity.

Vin Diesel's sons are John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, and Cher. This is why it is against the law in 49 states for Vin to reproduce. The only state that allows it is Alabama. This is because Vin saved Alabama from certain destruction, however, the details have not been released to the public and there is only speculation at this point.

 

[B-Buzz]

If you put your ear up to Vin Diesel, you will hear either sounds of the ocean, or the tormented wailing of lost souls, depending on his mood.

Vin Diesel can not distinguish between babies and bagels.

Vin Diesel used to say, "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee" before killing someone because he thought it was some cold-blooded shit. But then he realized it was just wasted time that he could be spending eating Subway sandwiches or deflowering virgins.

 

[m.w.merlino]

^^LMFAO...