COOPIE RIVERA REPORTING LIVE FROM THE CANYONS OF THE SOUTHEAST REGION, I WAS LURED, JUMPED AND CAPTURED BY A GROUP OF REBELS CLAIMIN TO BE LABOR WORKERS WANTING TO RE NEGOTIATE. AS I ARRIVED AT THE AGREED DESTINATION, I WAS DISTRACTED BY A BIG BOOTIE CHICK NAMED SOUTHEISHA, SHE INVITED ME TO HER VESSEL BEHIND A BUILDING KNOWN TO THE LOCALS AS FAM BAM, I WAS JUMPED BLIND FOLDED AND HAVE BEEN HELD HOSTAGE FOR 6 HRS, WITH ONLY TORTILLA'S AND A GALLON OF WATER. THEY ARE ONLY GIVING ME A SMALL AMOUNT OF TIME TO GET MY MESSAGE CLEAR. THEY SAY IF THERE DEMANDS ARE NOT MET BY THE 21ST DAY OF THE SICCNESS MONTH, THEY WILL ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE ALL UNION MEMBERS 1 BY 1 UNTIL THERE DEMANDS HAVE BEEN MET. IF NOT THEY WILL BEGIN TO TORTURE MY SOLE.
I URGE ANYONE WATCHING OR LISTENING TELL MY 3 DOGS, MAYONAISE, KOUNTRY & DANGEROUS I LOVE THEM I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT HOME TO FEED THEM BY MORNING. AND SOMEBODY CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD THIS IS A NATIONAL AMBER ALERT.