it is a fucked up way to live. its like being on a never ending carousel.
i'm not sure if im exactly turned into more esoteric things about life, but it feels that way. i don't even look at it as something out of the normal anymore.
for instance about 3 years ago i had this dream that i met this girl and went to her moms house and for some reason i was bleeding in the bathroom, and looking for trash to throw the tissue in. well yesterday that same dream happened, same colored bathroom, and my nose bled, no trash can so it went in the toilet
i didnt even think of it as weird...i just shrugged it off
the only times i really get freaked out is if i have alot of premonitions at once and the times between the last and next one become shorter and shorter. feels like thats how you die, or something.
im easily confused conciousness wise though....like honestly im not sure if im dreaming right now, and my dreamworld when i sleep is actually the real world. seems like life is just coming from the power of my mind.