dude you are just going thru a phase in life because you are forced to. once, you get your shit back on track you will go back to being like deepeastbeast aand the rest of the materilistic people in this world.
your like that chick in that movie ATL. TI girlfriend, who looks and acts ghetto, but she actually fugazi bout her shit and actually rich, but doesn't want to admit it. she cant accept her true identity.
it is what it is, the fact that you cant handle a 2,000 dollar gambling debt, makes me wonder if you can handle a 500k house loan. that is a gamble unto itself.
something about you jsut does not add up.
i hope you do get your shit together, cuz this world is a cold-hearted bitch with a fist grasping peoples hearts and slowly squeezing every ounce of soul from them like squeezing water from a rock.
all you gotta do is look what happened to the stock market on thrusday and see how fucked up things are. you got companys being worth $40 a share, dropping all of a sudden to a penny a share, and then shooting back up to $40 a share. its a fuckin cold hearted game out there, man.