In the midst of my depression, substance takes grip extending deeper in my mind touching various dementions, my heart hurts until its black the facts of pain make it hard to maintain these thoughts are so relentless, times are hectic mind state neglected undetected by many because I selected to bottle my aggression, rhyme is my only form of confession stressed to solve my problems I turn to sessions of alcohol suppression, I know deep down the solutions only temporary, thats what scares me, tares me... unfairly prosecuted paranoid until the state of delusion questioning life was it real or just another illusion, GOD test me every day to see the strength in my faith, love and hate become translucent since an early age feeling alone and be-trade, infatuated with death hoping life would just go away, leave me to play where the blue skys cover the grey, will I ever get that day? will I ever regain a sain brain smiling face where the grace of joy over powers this pain? a cloud to rest on, stress gone, up high out of reach from the flames, tell what I'll see at the end of this maze, the love of GODs warm embrase? forgivness or redemption, I dont know I cant call it, I'm still trapped in its grip, in the midst of my drepresion!
- Wrote that in jail back in 1999