I was takin this shit right

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NOSTRIL KING

Guest
#1
#1

man for the past 2 months I been workin 7 days a week. work durin the week and work in the stores demo'ing. They're payin me $10.50 an hour to demo in stores so I'm like, sure I'll stand there and humiliate myself for that amount of money, no problem.

So I went to the new Eagle acme and was demonstrating some Hi-C. I usually just set up my table and put a few products on there and fuckin leave.

So I'm in the bathroom takin a shit and I'm using the paper towels because that toilet paper balls up and gets stuck up in my asshair. Fuck that. So I'm totally stuffin the toilet up with paper towels and I'm shittin hella hard too. I go to flush............

And it fills up halfway. I'm like eh another flush will do....it fills up all the way. I'm like, do I get the plunger or do I just risk it and flush again? I flush one more time and the fuckin toilet over flows. So I'm reachin for the plunger and tryin to get that shit free before the fuckin place floods but it was too late.

I backed myself into a corner and I'm like please stop, and one end of the men's bathroom to the other was completely filled with human shit. It was like the movie Aliens. I had to abandon the bathroom and I ran the fuck outta there as fast as I could. Nobody saw me.

So I go back to my demo table like nothing ever happened. I see the STORE MANAGER go into there and he comes running out PISSED OFF and red in the face. He grabs this 14 year bagger and makes the kid put on these big galloshes and long ass yellow gloves. Gives him a mop and a big ass bucket and tells him to start cleaning. I fell OVER I was laughing so hard and I accidently pushed the demo table over and the Hi-C EXPLODED. I just packed my shit up and left 2 hours early and the kid probably cleaned that too.

Hahahaha.
 
B

BornSin

Sicc OG
#2
May 10, 2002
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#2
Rule #1, never try to flush paper towels down a toilet.....Not even the most powerful toilet in the wolrd can handle paper towels.....Its like the kryptonite for toilets....
 
MeloTrauma

MeloTrauma

Sicc OG
#7
Apr 25, 2002
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#7
Hahahah... that reminds me of a time when I used to work at Food Maxx in Fremont. We had a bathroom open to the customers there and one day some dude went in and must of had an ANAL EXPLOSION, because there was liquid shit all over the toilet seat, the wall, the floor... there was shit everywhere except for inside the toilet. There was shit fragments that spanned an area of about 10 feet. They tried to get me to clean it up, and I told them if they made me do that, Id quit. So we just put an "Out of Order" sign on the bathroom door and had Juanito the night janitor clean it all up... poor guy.
 
B

BornSin

Sicc OG
#8
May 10, 2002
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#8
^lol...my lil brothers done that before....except it was at home and he diarrhea'ed all over the toilet, wall, sink, toothbrushes, bathtub, etc....

what happens is that you have to shit so bad that your ass doesnt give you a chance to set up shop on the crapper and therefore once you pull your drawers past your asshole, everything starts to shoot out like a faucet...Thus creating situations where you end up painting the bathroom in feces...
 
Deep Thought

Deep Thought

Sicc OOG
#11
May 21, 2002
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Sacramento, CA
#11
I worked at Denny's (my first job) a long time ago and bussed tables and washed dishes, in addition, I had to clean the bathrooms. So one day I'm in the women's rest room and enter one of the stalls to find some nasty bitch had taken a shit NEXT to the crapper. ON THE FLOOR. Fuckin' A. How can you miss? It wasn't like she had a case of the bubble guts, the dump was a solid log. So being the Deep, I did what Deep does. I walked out and signed off on the sheet that all was well. I didn't mention what I found to anyone. Later a lady would come up to me and mention that something was amiss in the ladie's room. I was like "Right, I'll get right on that." Bwhahahahahaha! Yeah right. I continued to sign off on that bad boy for the rest of my shift then bounced.

They didn't pay me enough to pick up human shit off the floor.
 
Ethereal

Ethereal

Sicc OG
#13
Mar 18, 2003
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#13
Hahahahaha!!@#~

That shit just brightened my day up.

Yeah, we have our fair share of shit storms over here at the grocery store. Crap-filled urinals are nothing new around these parts. I guess when the stalls are taken, bending at a slight 45 degree angel and shootin for the brim suits some people just fine.

I've seen my friend come out of the stall at work, with SHIT all over his shirt (at the shoulder area). After I showed him, we glanced in the stall and it looked as if someone grabbed a handful of shit and started wiping the hand railing.

DT: Those hand railings were specially designed to allow people to grab ahold, balance thenselves, almost as if to hover directly over the bowl and shoot for the hole. So a log on the ground could quite possibly have been caused by poor judgement, aim, and coordination. I'm with you though, they don't pay me enough to do that type of work. Rather then quit, I just go grab another employee (preferably a rookie) and tell him the manage requested a clean-up in the mens bathroom.

Also, a recent study by our night crew janitors has shown the womens bathrooms are much dirtier then mens.
 
T.C

T.C

Sicc OG
#16
Jul 22, 2003
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#16
^^^hahah @ good shit.....very funny


i remember back in the days i used to play flag football for this rec by my house.....we had a chick on our team who was a reciever. on day a practice she was running a route and she made a cut and planted her foot in a huge mound of dog shit. she slipped and fell in it.....she was wearing shorts too. the shit was all over her legs,shoes, her shorts and her shirt.....everybody on my team was all quiet when it happened.....except me.....i laughed my ass off
 
TONY206

TONY206

/b/ased
#19
Jun 13, 2002
13,154
525
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siccness.net
#19
LMMFAO! i had to stop reading this in class cuzz i was gonna start crackin up.

this reminds of sumthin that happened like 2 months ago, me and 2 homies were drunk as fuck and decided to go to the mall. we forgot to use the bathroom at home so we had to pee hella bad when we got there. we went to the bathrooms and i walk into a stall and strat crackin up laughin cuzz there was shit everywhere, all over the walls floor and toilet seat, like sum1 had taken like 3 craps at once and exploded. i go pee in the next stall and wash my hands, next thing i know a security guard walks in and was like wtf?! did u guys do this? my homeboy was like hell no, it was some big ass samoans that just left. and we were just cracking up laughing cause we were loaded as fuck.
 
MeloTrauma

MeloTrauma

Sicc OG
#20
Apr 25, 2002
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#20
LOL

You guys ever go into a public restroom and hear someone taking a shit? Like youll be standing there in front of the urinal and the guy in the stall next to you is hella groaning. Then you hear the plop plop of a turd. I always have trouble pissing the whole time cause Im holding in my laugh so damn hard.
 
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