i bake custom cakes
- Thread starter diablo666
- Start date
I have a special order I was wondering if you could help me with.
I need an edible cake that a stripper could hide inside of. I know ones like that are mostly fake and made of inedible materials, but I was planning on putting myself inside of the cake, like a delicious Trojan Horse, where I can have someone deliver me to someone else, at which point I will nimbly spring out of the cake, kick the man in the head until he dies, and eat the cake so as to destroy the evidence before I run away. I don't want anything fancy, maybe just a good honest-cooked lemon pound with low-carb icing if possible, because I will need to eat quickly and I don't want my stomach to cramp while I'm making my hasty getaway.
Also - do you know if crushed-up roofies or powdered GHB would disrupt the baking of a cake, like I'm not a scientist or Wolfgang Puck or anything, but I could see how it might cancel out the effects of baking soda. If that's at all possible, I'd like to order five of these.
I need an edible cake that a stripper could hide inside of. I know ones like that are mostly fake and made of inedible materials, but I was planning on putting myself inside of the cake, like a delicious Trojan Horse, where I can have someone deliver me to someone else, at which point I will nimbly spring out of the cake, kick the man in the head until he dies, and eat the cake so as to destroy the evidence before I run away. I don't want anything fancy, maybe just a good honest-cooked lemon pound with low-carb icing if possible, because I will need to eat quickly and I don't want my stomach to cramp while I'm making my hasty getaway.
Also - do you know if crushed-up roofies or powdered GHB would disrupt the baking of a cake, like I'm not a scientist or Wolfgang Puck or anything, but I could see how it might cancel out the effects of baking soda. If that's at all possible, I'd like to order five of these.
Your salesmanship intrigues me, sir.
It will be me jumping out of the cake - I am 6'0". However, as long as I'm not in there for very long, I could probably hunch down in it and you could make it three or four feet tall. It will have to be of fairly resilient consistency, I am not a clumsy person in general but it isn't out of the question to assume there may be some difficulty lowering myself into it without smashing a delicate, fluffy cake. I would inquire about the possibility of a stale cake, but I will be eating it - I do want it to taste as exquisite as possible while still maintaining human carryability and a minimal amount of carbs.
I am more than happy to pay full shipping from Memphis to Oregon. If you put a stripper in the cake before you ship it, I will pay extra. Recieving that package will be well worth the cost, as it is kind of like the "present within a box within a bigger box within a bigger box" concept except I am going to eat one of the boxes and the present will be an asphyxiated stripper.
It will be me jumping out of the cake - I am 6'0". However, as long as I'm not in there for very long, I could probably hunch down in it and you could make it three or four feet tall. It will have to be of fairly resilient consistency, I am not a clumsy person in general but it isn't out of the question to assume there may be some difficulty lowering myself into it without smashing a delicate, fluffy cake. I would inquire about the possibility of a stale cake, but I will be eating it - I do want it to taste as exquisite as possible while still maintaining human carryability and a minimal amount of carbs.
I am more than happy to pay full shipping from Memphis to Oregon. If you put a stripper in the cake before you ship it, I will pay extra. Recieving that package will be well worth the cost, as it is kind of like the "present within a box within a bigger box within a bigger box" concept except I am going to eat one of the boxes and the present will be an asphyxiated stripper.
I need the same cake shipped to my uncle Mutumbe in Zaire.
I was hoping we could make another cake i the shape of a bottle cap, maybe make a syringe with hardened sugar, a the finishing piece would a triple chocolate ball of black tar heroin in the center of the cap, maybe a lil cotton candy to simulate the cotton in the cap.
i also want to find a way to incorporate a few ingredients
psilocybin mushrooms
an eye of a newt
heart of a dog
wing of a black bat
a lock of hair of an enemy (which i shall provide)
blood of a virgin (sent by fed-ex)
I was hoping we could make another cake i the shape of a bottle cap, maybe make a syringe with hardened sugar, a the finishing piece would a triple chocolate ball of black tar heroin in the center of the cap, maybe a lil cotton candy to simulate the cotton in the cap.
i also want to find a way to incorporate a few ingredients
psilocybin mushrooms
an eye of a newt
heart of a dog
wing of a black bat
a lock of hair of an enemy (which i shall provide)
blood of a virgin (sent by fed-ex)
