How do you get rid of this?
- Thread starter cbrennan04
- Start date
" i was drunk mom...and well Tweety just looked so soft and cuddly....i didnt know i was hurting it really"
Props:
RAVAGE and RAVAGE
" God damn it Charlie, you killed another one "
Mr. Brennan coming home after work to find yet ANOTHER dead cat in his sons bed.
Mr. Brennan coming home after work to find yet ANOTHER dead cat in his sons bed.
Props:
RAVAGE and RAVAGE
a Message from Cbrennan
A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking for advice on having sex with animals. I would like to put down a few pointers for novices. Let's concentrate on dogs for this article, as they are the animal of my preference, and also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have access to.
I will try to explain any jargon I use, but only briefly, as I don't wish this to be a technical discourse. If you need clarification on terms used here, comment to me on Alt.Sex.Bestiality or check a good 'Encyclopaedia of Dogs'. I am also only going to refer to animals that have not been de-sexed (in the case of males, having their testes surgically removed. In the case of females, having ovaries removed). I can't bear the thought of any animals of mine missing out on sexual pleasure. Even so, I know in any city dog populations are too high, and hundreds of dogs are destroyed daily. There are good arguments for de-sexing, but a responsible owner should be able to keep an entire animal without accidental litters (and still keep the animal sexually satisfied!) Also note that when I refer to dogs, I mean any breed Labrador or larger. In my mind, anything smaller than a Labrador isn't really a dog. If I refer to a 'Giant Breed', I am talking in the category of English Mastiff, Great Dane, St. Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland, etc. These are REAL dogs.
The first rule that leaps to my mind is this:- the animal MUST BE CONSENTING!! If the animal is enjoying the experience of having sex with you, the sex is so much more fulfilling. If the animal is not enjoying it, you are committing rape. If you have to force the animal into anything, stop. I hope most of us would agree that we are animal lovers, sharing sex with our animal partners as a gift of pleasure. Any other attitude toward your animal partner makes you a loathsome, slimy reptile, unworthy of the status of a toad. So there.
Let's start with bitches. Bitches become sexually mature (depending on the size of the breed) at around 8-18 months. The larger the breed, in general, the later they will have their first heat (Oestrous, the bitch becomes fertile after a 5-7 day period of menstrual bleeding. Male dogs become insanely attracted to her scent, and will chew/dig through anything to get at her. This lasts for around 7 days, followed by another 5-7 days of menstrual bleeding. After that the bitch is no longer fertile. Her next heat will follow in six months). Before her first heat, I would recommend a minimum of sexual activity. Let her discover her own place as a dog before confusing her with too much sexuality too soon. By all means caress her entire body, and around her vagina gently. Let her get used to your hands being everywhere on her, but avoid active stimulation of her clitoris at this stage. Cuddle her, and love her for the puppy she is.
It is a good time for exploration of her body and genitals for you to get used to the differences between her and a human partner. You will notice that the entrance to her vagina is a 'Y' shape. The tail of the 'Y' points toward her front, and that is where her clitoris is. The lips are coated with a fine velvety fur.
During the early stages of her first heat, the bitch may become depressed, or even frightened by the sudden changes in her. She may start to wander off in search of a mate. Comfort her and be a friend to her, and don't let her escape off your property. It is now your responsibility, for the next three weeks, to ensure she isn't mated by the sudden hordes of randy male dogs hanging around your house. Let me recommend high wooden fencing, and a handy bucket of cold water for potential suitors.
After the first bleeding stops, her vagina entrance will have enlarged quite significantly. She may actively invite you to sex by turning her rump toward you, and flicking her tail aside every time you catch her eye. In other words, she is now horny, and it is up to you to relieve her. Get naked. All the better to use you whole body in the act. Work with her as though she were human. That is, spend time caressing her, hugging her. Play with her nipples, which will have become larger and more sensitive with her heat. Arouse her as much as you can. When she is really turned on, her vagina will be well lubricated, and she will almost be begging you to make her cum.
The best way to do this is to use one or two fingers. If you are a male, do NOT try inserting your dick into her unless she is one of the Giant Breeds, (or you have an exceptionally small dick). If you hurt her, she may become frightened of you, and will not enjoy the sex. Move around behind her and insert one finger gently into her, slowly. If she isn't wet enough, use saliva or KY jelly. Don't use mineral oils or anything that isn't used for human sex. As your knuckle brushes past her clitoris, it is likely she will sharply hump her hips downward. This is normal. (It surprised the bejesus out of me the first time it happened) Slowly withdraw your finger, and repeat. She should start humping up and down on your finger quite strongly. Keep in time to her movements, pushing up as she humps down.
Use your other hand to caress her nipples and stomach. She will cum fairly quickly and easily (this is why sex with animals is better than humans...). You can tell when she is, as you will feel her vaginal muscles squeezing on your finger and she will start convulsively licking her lips. Try to sustain her pleasure for as long as you can; play with her clitoris. Generally treat her as you would a lover. If your bitch is one of the Giant breeds, and you are male, by all means screw her. Highly recommended in fact. She will hump your dick as readily as she will hump your finger.
Crouch behind her (or have her stand on a slightly raised platform) and guide your dick into her with one hand. Her tail will probably get in the way (I don't believe in cropping tails either), so you will probably have to drape it over one of your legs. Use your other hand on her hip to steady yourself. When you have your dick firmly in her, you can grasp her hips with both hands and thrust into her. Mmmm, savour that warm, tight pussy. I usually like to bring her to orgasm by hand first, and then screw her afterwards, otherwise she tends to hump on my dick, and I will often fall out of her. Feel free to cum inside her. You will enjoy it immensely, and it is impossible to get her pregnant on human semen.
After you have both orgasmed, she will probably become very affectionate (if she enjoyed it) and playful. Lie with her for a bit, stroking her, and telling her you love her. You will communicate your feelings to her.
Don't feel constrained to wait for her next season for sex. Between heats, she will still be receptive to sex, but you may find she is a bit tighter. You will probably have difficulty inserting your penis fully into her. Don't force it; you don't ever want to hurt her, betraying her trust in you.
Some variations:- Suck on her nipples, with her standing or laying down. I find that very stimulating for both of us. You may like to lick her vulva and clitoris. I don't enjoy that much, but give it a go. She will love it. Not many dogs are into anal sex, but one or two don't mind. They seem to be the exception though. If your bitch doesn't like it, don't force it, or you will cause her to resent you. If she does like it, (as my bitch Xanth does) then anal sex is great. While your are screwing her arse, you can be masturbating her vagina. The sensations on your dick are, well, indescribable. Caution here:- NEVER move your dick from her anus to her vagina; you will carry bacteria, and it is likely she will get an unpleasant infection. The reverse is highly recommended though; going from her vagina to her anus, as you will be well lubricated, and it will be easier to enter her. I would also suggest you wash the faeces off your dick afterward fairly quickly too.
For a change, you can screw her missionary style; her on her back, and you laying on top. Be prepared for frustration, as they don't quite seem to be built correctly to enter from that angle. Bitches don't seem too keen on either human semen, or licking human vagina. Sorry. Again, Xanth is an exception, and it is quite pleasant to place my dick in the side of her mouth, and jerk myself off though her jowls. She does like the taste of my semen, and I do cum in her mouth (and she does swallow). I think that is about the limit of what you can do with a bitch. They don't seem too keen on cross-dressing, or wearing rubber, so onward to male dogs.
Dogs are the greatest sex-toy invented, for both men and women. They are ALWAYS horny, and get really enthusiastic about sex.
They will mature sexually around 8-10 months of age. As with bitches, try to avoid too much deliberate sexual activity before that age. Explore their genitalia and get used to how everything works. Their balls go from almost non-existent at 3 months of age to the serious pieces of sexual apparatus in a black velvet sac at 9 months. A dogs penis mostly stays hidden in his sheath, so get your dog used to you pulling his sheath back, exposing his dick. Caution here:- Do not expose a young dogs penis for too long. The pink flesh is VERY sensitive and can dry out. This is extremely painful for the dog, and he will have difficulty retracting it. Should this occur, lubricate it gently with generous quantities of KY jelly, baby oil, or any lubricant safe for sex, and carefully pull the sheath back over his penis. Another note here. A dogs penis is very different from a human penis in shape.
A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking for advice on having sex with animals. I would like to put down a few pointers for novices. Let's concentrate on dogs for this article, as they are the animal of my preference, and also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have access to.
I will try to explain any jargon I use, but only briefly, as I don't wish this to be a technical discourse. If you need clarification on terms used here, comment to me on Alt.Sex.Bestiality or check a good 'Encyclopaedia of Dogs'. I am also only going to refer to animals that have not been de-sexed (in the case of males, having their testes surgically removed. In the case of females, having ovaries removed). I can't bear the thought of any animals of mine missing out on sexual pleasure. Even so, I know in any city dog populations are too high, and hundreds of dogs are destroyed daily. There are good arguments for de-sexing, but a responsible owner should be able to keep an entire animal without accidental litters (and still keep the animal sexually satisfied!) Also note that when I refer to dogs, I mean any breed Labrador or larger. In my mind, anything smaller than a Labrador isn't really a dog. If I refer to a 'Giant Breed', I am talking in the category of English Mastiff, Great Dane, St. Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland, etc. These are REAL dogs.
The first rule that leaps to my mind is this:- the animal MUST BE CONSENTING!! If the animal is enjoying the experience of having sex with you, the sex is so much more fulfilling. If the animal is not enjoying it, you are committing rape. If you have to force the animal into anything, stop. I hope most of us would agree that we are animal lovers, sharing sex with our animal partners as a gift of pleasure. Any other attitude toward your animal partner makes you a loathsome, slimy reptile, unworthy of the status of a toad. So there.
Let's start with bitches. Bitches become sexually mature (depending on the size of the breed) at around 8-18 months. The larger the breed, in general, the later they will have their first heat (Oestrous, the bitch becomes fertile after a 5-7 day period of menstrual bleeding. Male dogs become insanely attracted to her scent, and will chew/dig through anything to get at her. This lasts for around 7 days, followed by another 5-7 days of menstrual bleeding. After that the bitch is no longer fertile. Her next heat will follow in six months). Before her first heat, I would recommend a minimum of sexual activity. Let her discover her own place as a dog before confusing her with too much sexuality too soon. By all means caress her entire body, and around her vagina gently. Let her get used to your hands being everywhere on her, but avoid active stimulation of her clitoris at this stage. Cuddle her, and love her for the puppy she is.
It is a good time for exploration of her body and genitals for you to get used to the differences between her and a human partner. You will notice that the entrance to her vagina is a 'Y' shape. The tail of the 'Y' points toward her front, and that is where her clitoris is. The lips are coated with a fine velvety fur.
During the early stages of her first heat, the bitch may become depressed, or even frightened by the sudden changes in her. She may start to wander off in search of a mate. Comfort her and be a friend to her, and don't let her escape off your property. It is now your responsibility, for the next three weeks, to ensure she isn't mated by the sudden hordes of randy male dogs hanging around your house. Let me recommend high wooden fencing, and a handy bucket of cold water for potential suitors.
After the first bleeding stops, her vagina entrance will have enlarged quite significantly. She may actively invite you to sex by turning her rump toward you, and flicking her tail aside every time you catch her eye. In other words, she is now horny, and it is up to you to relieve her. Get naked. All the better to use you whole body in the act. Work with her as though she were human. That is, spend time caressing her, hugging her. Play with her nipples, which will have become larger and more sensitive with her heat. Arouse her as much as you can. When she is really turned on, her vagina will be well lubricated, and she will almost be begging you to make her cum.
The best way to do this is to use one or two fingers. If you are a male, do NOT try inserting your dick into her unless she is one of the Giant Breeds, (or you have an exceptionally small dick). If you hurt her, she may become frightened of you, and will not enjoy the sex. Move around behind her and insert one finger gently into her, slowly. If she isn't wet enough, use saliva or KY jelly. Don't use mineral oils or anything that isn't used for human sex. As your knuckle brushes past her clitoris, it is likely she will sharply hump her hips downward. This is normal. (It surprised the bejesus out of me the first time it happened) Slowly withdraw your finger, and repeat. She should start humping up and down on your finger quite strongly. Keep in time to her movements, pushing up as she humps down.
Use your other hand to caress her nipples and stomach. She will cum fairly quickly and easily (this is why sex with animals is better than humans...). You can tell when she is, as you will feel her vaginal muscles squeezing on your finger and she will start convulsively licking her lips. Try to sustain her pleasure for as long as you can; play with her clitoris. Generally treat her as you would a lover. If your bitch is one of the Giant breeds, and you are male, by all means screw her. Highly recommended in fact. She will hump your dick as readily as she will hump your finger.
Crouch behind her (or have her stand on a slightly raised platform) and guide your dick into her with one hand. Her tail will probably get in the way (I don't believe in cropping tails either), so you will probably have to drape it over one of your legs. Use your other hand on her hip to steady yourself. When you have your dick firmly in her, you can grasp her hips with both hands and thrust into her. Mmmm, savour that warm, tight pussy. I usually like to bring her to orgasm by hand first, and then screw her afterwards, otherwise she tends to hump on my dick, and I will often fall out of her. Feel free to cum inside her. You will enjoy it immensely, and it is impossible to get her pregnant on human semen.
After you have both orgasmed, she will probably become very affectionate (if she enjoyed it) and playful. Lie with her for a bit, stroking her, and telling her you love her. You will communicate your feelings to her.
Don't feel constrained to wait for her next season for sex. Between heats, she will still be receptive to sex, but you may find she is a bit tighter. You will probably have difficulty inserting your penis fully into her. Don't force it; you don't ever want to hurt her, betraying her trust in you.
Some variations:- Suck on her nipples, with her standing or laying down. I find that very stimulating for both of us. You may like to lick her vulva and clitoris. I don't enjoy that much, but give it a go. She will love it. Not many dogs are into anal sex, but one or two don't mind. They seem to be the exception though. If your bitch doesn't like it, don't force it, or you will cause her to resent you. If she does like it, (as my bitch Xanth does) then anal sex is great. While your are screwing her arse, you can be masturbating her vagina. The sensations on your dick are, well, indescribable. Caution here:- NEVER move your dick from her anus to her vagina; you will carry bacteria, and it is likely she will get an unpleasant infection. The reverse is highly recommended though; going from her vagina to her anus, as you will be well lubricated, and it will be easier to enter her. I would also suggest you wash the faeces off your dick afterward fairly quickly too.
For a change, you can screw her missionary style; her on her back, and you laying on top. Be prepared for frustration, as they don't quite seem to be built correctly to enter from that angle. Bitches don't seem too keen on either human semen, or licking human vagina. Sorry. Again, Xanth is an exception, and it is quite pleasant to place my dick in the side of her mouth, and jerk myself off though her jowls. She does like the taste of my semen, and I do cum in her mouth (and she does swallow). I think that is about the limit of what you can do with a bitch. They don't seem too keen on cross-dressing, or wearing rubber, so onward to male dogs.
Dogs are the greatest sex-toy invented, for both men and women. They are ALWAYS horny, and get really enthusiastic about sex.
They will mature sexually around 8-10 months of age. As with bitches, try to avoid too much deliberate sexual activity before that age. Explore their genitalia and get used to how everything works. Their balls go from almost non-existent at 3 months of age to the serious pieces of sexual apparatus in a black velvet sac at 9 months. A dogs penis mostly stays hidden in his sheath, so get your dog used to you pulling his sheath back, exposing his dick. Caution here:- Do not expose a young dogs penis for too long. The pink flesh is VERY sensitive and can dry out. This is extremely painful for the dog, and he will have difficulty retracting it. Should this occur, lubricate it gently with generous quantities of KY jelly, baby oil, or any lubricant safe for sex, and carefully pull the sheath back over his penis. Another note here. A dogs penis is very different from a human penis in shape.
I'll give dimensions for Hamlet (my Great Dane). When the dog is fully sexually aroused, the tip of the penis is tapered to a point, with a small, round hole in the end. The taper widens sharply to a diameter of about an inch, then the shaft is about 4 inches long. This meets a swelling of flesh of almost 3 inches in diameter. This is his knot. Then there is a further inch or so of shaft, before it joins the flesh at his groin. Take a deep breath here, that is about 8 inches of dog-flesh! The entire length is more sensitive than the glans of a mans penis. At full arousal, the knot can either be hidden in the sheath, which stretches around it, or outside, with the sheath pulled right back. If it is fully exposed, you will have to wait for the swelling to recede before you can pull the sheath back down.
Masturbation. Jerking your dog off. Great! They love it; never seem to get enough (although, by the gods of Gorgonzola, I do my best to give them enough!). Get naked. Heaps more fun. Caress your dog all over his body, around his rump, and over his balls. Tease him a bit. You can tell when they are REALLY turned on, they will butt their heads into your groin if you stop. When you and he are ready, kneel beside him (if you are right handed, kneel on his left side) facing slightly toward his rear. With your left hand, keep caressing him, scratching his head, back and chest. Reach under his belly with your right hand, and between his rear legs. Start by stroking his sheath, then actually hold it with your whole hand and pull it forward and backward along his dick. When he starts swelling, follow the contours of his knot inside his sheath with your fingers opening and closing as they pass over it. Do not touch the sensitive flesh at this stage, or he'll go soft on you, he won't enjoy it. He will probably be humping his hips as you are rubbing him now, and you can increase your tempo to match his. While his knot is covered by the sheath, you can squeeze it quite hard, and pull on it quite strongly; it will increase the intensity of his orgasm.
Masturbation. Jerking your dog off. Great! They love it; never seem to get enough (although, by the gods of Gorgonzola, I do my best to give them enough!). Get naked. Heaps more fun. Caress your dog all over his body, around his rump, and over his balls. Tease him a bit. You can tell when they are REALLY turned on, they will butt their heads into your groin if you stop. When you and he are ready, kneel beside him (if you are right handed, kneel on his left side) facing slightly toward his rear. With your left hand, keep caressing him, scratching his head, back and chest. Reach under his belly with your right hand, and between his rear legs. Start by stroking his sheath, then actually hold it with your whole hand and pull it forward and backward along his dick. When he starts swelling, follow the contours of his knot inside his sheath with your fingers opening and closing as they pass over it. Do not touch the sensitive flesh at this stage, or he'll go soft on you, he won't enjoy it. He will probably be humping his hips as you are rubbing him now, and you can increase your tempo to match his. While his knot is covered by the sheath, you can squeeze it quite hard, and pull on it quite strongly; it will increase the intensity of his orgasm.
