HERE IT IS. I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE IT

[Pak Dan]

I WORKED HARD ON IT BEING IT MY 1ST SONG(RECORDED) AND WHATNOT.

i'll appreciate feedback and my boy H20 rly helped me improve



here's my myspace: http://myspace.com/itzlildan








.....enjoy








edit: i'll be having my 2nd single which should be better in about 2 weeks...i'll keep y'all posted

 

[Pak Dan]

*takes deep breath*

 

[DAT NIGGA TAZZ]

it aint bad for ur first song... lyrics aint bad but u need alot of improvement tho, like it kinda sound like ur talking and not rapping, u need more energy.


and ur name should be young norris

 

[Pak Dan]

thx. i'll take that note when im doin my 2nd one

 

[5ive1en]

it aint bad for ur first song... lyrics aint bad but u need alot of improvement tho, like it kinda sound like ur talking and not rapping, u need more energy.

what he said...


your vocals arn't very clear, and you seem to kind of mumble your lyrics at times....

Rose Town Ryda is absolutely right about you needing more energy.

 

[Tall T]

Yep you need more confidence on the mic... You want what you're saying to be heard an felt right?..Well then act like it! get on that mic an go off.. madd swag, personality, emotion, drive... its all needed to make a song a hit...
my .02

 

[5ive1en]

^^ Exactly.

 

[Tall T]

Oh an that sample is dope as fuck... I know it was in the begining of the first Kill Bill an MD rapped over it on a track with the Crest Creepaz I believe... also Ca$h an Rydah over it too? yep.. ive always digged that shit

 

[5ive1en]

Oh an that sample is dope as fuck... I know it was in the begining of the first Kill Bill an MD rapped over it on a track with the Crest Creepaz I believe... also Ca$h an Rydah over it too? yep.. ive always digged that shit

Yaa, Kill Bill, thats where I remember it from!! i sorta had it stuck in my head not knowing where i heard it

 

[Pak Dan]

hm i didnt kno a bunch of bay cats rapped to that one


thats cool, keep em comin!




yea 5, i do mumble and stuff. dont worry, for my next song, i'll get it good

 

[Pak Dan]

Yaa, Kill Bill, thats where I remember it from!! i sorta had it stuck in my head not knowing where i heard it

yup i knew this would be a catchy tune. thats one reason why i used tha beat and tha instrumental part is raw

 

[infinity]

better than i thought it would be. young buck used that sample too.

 

[coondogg26]

i couldnt really understand wut u were sayin, it almost sounded like u were tryin to rap wit an accent. It wasn't that bad tho, keep at it

 

[Diamonds]

U SUCK BOOOO

 

[Pak Dan]

i'll get better.


i'll try not to mumble next time too...yea i was sorta nervous


i appreciate tha feedback

 

[5ive1en]

U SUCK BOOOO

It would have been more mature of you to give some input on why you think he sucks, and what he could improve on..

 

[Berner]

just keep on workin on it, ur intentions were right

 

[Toro]

Yep you need more confidence on the mic... You want what you're saying to be heard an felt right?..Well then act like it! get on that mic an go off.. madd swag, personality, emotion, drive... its all needed to make a song a hit...
my .02

Agree

 

[the_truth_]

listen to berner he sucks 2

 

[GTDProductions]

see the thing is..talk about the real shit you do..quit talkin bout u a warrior, and gloccs, cause someone gonna checc you one day, and your gonna freeze the fucc up.. be real bro