lmao at the dwarf, best character in the show.
"When I was 7 I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing."
"When I was 10 I stuffed my uncles boots with goatshit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice."
"When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did."
"Once I brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...."
LOL!