Cancer: He lost his baffle with cancer. If you die, so does the cancer. It's at least a draw.
Autism: what are you retarded? No, I know you're not retarded. What are you down syndrome?
9/11: blood and bones. It was a national tragedy
Rape: all the charm of a date rapist. Hey! That's way better than a regular rapist
Animal abuse: I don't think it's fair for the pig to have sex with a beautiful lady and have to go back to fucking pigs
Disability: if I became a paraplegic, it wouldn't really change my quality of life
Pedophelia: don't get the wrong idea here. Michael Jackson is a homosexual pedophile
Incest: not sure or any incest jokes, but I'm sure uncle basil tried something funny
LGBT: hot juicy cock slipping into a delicious asshole.
Depression: if I had money, you know what I would invest in? Guys jumping off the tops of buildings
Ebola: we've been so scared for so long by our media from Zica and Avian Flu and Pig Flu and Ebola and..... that we no longer are scared. (more of a comment really)
Suicide: people commit suicide and everyone goes, really? I don't understand why. And I go, you don't?! You live in a cotton candy house or something? What the fuck?
Death: my father was brutally murdered a week ago and it's only now I can look back and laugh
People of different race: some gold plated chains would make a great retirement present for a really good slave