Damn man...Goodbye Bay Area =/
- Thread starter WHITE DEVIL
- Start date
I'm a CFP and soon to be investment advisor at Edward Jones.
They're offering me my own office and assistant, but I turned em both down. I'd rather work at Sac regional and be an institutional investor than be out there tryin to sell to people.
"Hey, you there! You, across the street! Yea you! Ever thought about investing? No? Well come into my office sometime. It's right over here, behind me. Ok well I'll be right here if you need anything!"
I'm cool. I'd rather deal with asshole companies and my own dickhead company than dumb ass people.
These are all quotes from customers at my last office:
"Why did my stocks go down?"
"Ma'am, that's part of the risk of investment"
"They went down 4 percent this year!"
"Well they went up 14 percent last year. Its a cyclical thing. Your money will gain in the long term...typically around 11% yearly on average"
"Well, sell it all and put it in a savings account! I cant handle all this up and down!"
"I'm 40 and I want to retire with a million dollars when I'm 55"
"How much do you make?"
"About 60k a year"
"Have you been saving for retirement? Do you have any sort of savings at all?"
"No."
"Well sir you'd have to invest 30,000 dollars a year to reach that goal in 15 years."
"Bullshit. I'm out of here"
"I have 20 dollars and I want to know what can I invest it in"
"..."
"Im looking to invest. I was wondering your opinion on WGGMRC."
"Sir, I'm not going to give my opinion on individual stocks or funds. You can very easily do your own research. If you want, I can spend some paid time to research it and come back with my perspective"
"Yes but what do you think about WGGMRC off the top of your head"
"I've never heard of it. It's probably not a very large or well-known fund"
"Well it went up 20 percent last year! Put all my money in it!"
"I'm not gonna do that, sir. Especially since, looking at the summary, this is not a diversified fund."
"Well transfer my whole account balance into it."
"Throw away your money on your own time. You won't even need my services for that."
"Fine, I'm out of here. You people don't know jack shit."
"I want to be a millionaire by 30."
"Cool. How you gonna do that?"
"Hustle, you know, get my grind on"
"Then why are you here"
"To get your investment advice"
"Usually we only do that for people with accounts, but I have some time. What do you need?"
"What you think about startin a record label"
"....Dont do it. You'd be better off sending yourself to college."
"I'm bout to get a studio though man. My nigga E-Mo got flows, I'm on production we gon hit the streets and sell tapes ya heard"
"Investing in a studio is about the worst business venture you can undertake. You would do far better with a hot dog stand. You would probably even do better shining shoes. I'm not kidding."
"Why you hatin man I ain't gon fuck wit you."
They're offering me my own office and assistant, but I turned em both down. I'd rather work at Sac regional and be an institutional investor than be out there tryin to sell to people.
"Hey, you there! You, across the street! Yea you! Ever thought about investing? No? Well come into my office sometime. It's right over here, behind me. Ok well I'll be right here if you need anything!"
I'm cool. I'd rather deal with asshole companies and my own dickhead company than dumb ass people.
These are all quotes from customers at my last office:
"Why did my stocks go down?"
"Ma'am, that's part of the risk of investment"
"They went down 4 percent this year!"
"Well they went up 14 percent last year. Its a cyclical thing. Your money will gain in the long term...typically around 11% yearly on average"
"Well, sell it all and put it in a savings account! I cant handle all this up and down!"
"I'm 40 and I want to retire with a million dollars when I'm 55"
"How much do you make?"
"About 60k a year"
"Have you been saving for retirement? Do you have any sort of savings at all?"
"No."
"Well sir you'd have to invest 30,000 dollars a year to reach that goal in 15 years."
"Bullshit. I'm out of here"
"I have 20 dollars and I want to know what can I invest it in"
"..."
"Im looking to invest. I was wondering your opinion on WGGMRC."
"Sir, I'm not going to give my opinion on individual stocks or funds. You can very easily do your own research. If you want, I can spend some paid time to research it and come back with my perspective"
"Yes but what do you think about WGGMRC off the top of your head"
"I've never heard of it. It's probably not a very large or well-known fund"
"Well it went up 20 percent last year! Put all my money in it!"
"I'm not gonna do that, sir. Especially since, looking at the summary, this is not a diversified fund."
"Well transfer my whole account balance into it."
"Throw away your money on your own time. You won't even need my services for that."
"Fine, I'm out of here. You people don't know jack shit."
"I want to be a millionaire by 30."
"Cool. How you gonna do that?"
"Hustle, you know, get my grind on"
"Then why are you here"
"To get your investment advice"
"Usually we only do that for people with accounts, but I have some time. What do you need?"
"What you think about startin a record label"
"....Dont do it. You'd be better off sending yourself to college."
"I'm bout to get a studio though man. My nigga E-Mo got flows, I'm on production we gon hit the streets and sell tapes ya heard"
"Investing in a studio is about the worst business venture you can undertake. You would do far better with a hot dog stand. You would probably even do better shining shoes. I'm not kidding."
"Why you hatin man I ain't gon fuck wit you."
WHITE DEVIL said:
emo was some whiteboy shit I did not know existed, till I went up there and I seen a gang of em an asked my girl
"wtf is that?"
"thats emo guys"
All bad. They not even goth blood. They worse than goth man.
Lil fag ass skinny ass too small T shirt wearin ass honkeys. Gay ass niggas.
"wtf is that?"
"thats emo guys"
All bad. They not even goth blood. They worse than goth man.
Lil fag ass skinny ass too small T shirt wearin ass honkeys. Gay ass niggas.
White Devil, good luck with it all, I was just reading the Edward Jones site it looks like a good opportunity. I'm starting an internship with Goldman Sachs on the 16th of January here for 6 months, by the end of which I should be graduating and I might be making my way out to the US to work unless I find something here permanent.
Right right thanks yall. FILA, gl with the Goldman Sachs internship. That's a great company to work for. You out in Australia? My aunt is the Manager of the American Chamber of Commerce in Melbourne.
Just spent my first weekend up here, man this shit is off the chain its like another world.
Imagine going somewhere like into a store and seeing all white people. I mean, it's strange. And I'm white. And it's strange. I realized I do NOT trust white people workin at fast food places. Give me a filipino or mexican any day. White people they just you can tell they hate their job, they are some scraggly ass lookin buckteeth ass depressed employees. You worry about like drool in your food and shit. You wonder if dude fell asleep on a hamburger during his break.
Hella christians too man...hella churches and christians.
I would be a very rich man if I had a dollar for every Christian bumper sticker I seen...
"My boss is a Jewish Carpenter"
"Going UP"
"Darwin is DEAD wrong"
My personal favorite though:
"Dear Jesus please guide President Bush for your glory" LOLOLOLOL
I'm bout to go back and get some stickers...
Lord, Save me from your followers, Focus on your own Family, Would Jesus bomb Fallujah, etc.
Just spent my first weekend up here, man this shit is off the chain its like another world.
Imagine going somewhere like into a store and seeing all white people. I mean, it's strange. And I'm white. And it's strange. I realized I do NOT trust white people workin at fast food places. Give me a filipino or mexican any day. White people they just you can tell they hate their job, they are some scraggly ass lookin buckteeth ass depressed employees. You worry about like drool in your food and shit. You wonder if dude fell asleep on a hamburger during his break.
Hella christians too man...hella churches and christians.
I would be a very rich man if I had a dollar for every Christian bumper sticker I seen...
"My boss is a Jewish Carpenter"
"Going UP"
"Darwin is DEAD wrong"
My personal favorite though:
"Dear Jesus please guide President Bush for your glory" LOLOLOLOL
I'm bout to go back and get some stickers...
Lord, Save me from your followers, Focus on your own Family, Would Jesus bomb Fallujah, etc.
I just found out about emo's too.
Down here they cut themselves and shit.
They always have girl pants on and have their hair in thier eyes.
I wouldn't say it is quite gothic. Goth is a little darker. The emo kids listen to like good charlotte and fucking all those other whiney ass bands on mtv. Totally gay.
Down here they cut themselves and shit.
They always have girl pants on and have their hair in thier eyes.
I wouldn't say it is quite gothic. Goth is a little darker. The emo kids listen to like good charlotte and fucking all those other whiney ass bands on mtv. Totally gay.
Bon Voyage Honkey!!!
"I have 20 dollars and I want to know what can I invest it in"
"..."
I took my $20 and invested in Crack cocaine. Thanks for the tip, White Devil!! You were absolutely correct. There is a huge market for this product. Performance has been robust and the capex cycle is on the way up. Too bad you're leaving SF, you wont even be around to see the true service Im providing for my peoples.
Farewell
"I have 20 dollars and I want to know what can I invest it in"
"..."
I took my $20 and invested in Crack cocaine. Thanks for the tip, White Devil!! You were absolutely correct. There is a huge market for this product. Performance has been robust and the capex cycle is on the way up. Too bad you're leaving SF, you wont even be around to see the true service Im providing for my peoples.
Farewell
