I got a clean record, but I been in the back of a squad car wearing them silver bracelets a good 5 or 6 times. One occasion, I got out of a possession charge by eating a blunt. me and my boy both ate half... I was chewing it the whole time the 5-0 was talking with me.
"Do you know your car smells like a marijuana factory?" he said.
"Well sir, I did smoke a joint earlier. The smell is probably still on my clothes."
"You dont have anymore on you I should know about do you?"
"No sir."
"Im gonna need you to step out of the vehicle. Hey you! put your hands on the dashboard or we're going to have a real problem! *slides hand on holster*"
So my friend says "No problem officer"
We get searched. He destroys my car. Me and my boy finish eating the bud and cognac wrap while we're in the back of the interceptor. Swallow that shit with hella cotton mouth.
You know how weed smells good as hell when you break apart the buds? well that smell was coming out of my mouth the whole time Im talking to this guy.
He really didn't have shit to charge me with. The boy didn't have ANY probable cause to pull me over, so I would've fought the charge in court anyway.
Another time, I had me two friends with me and we're going to make a beer run... literally. We already killed off a 12 between the three of us, so we run up to the arab and my friends going to grip a 30 pack and run out the store.... where I'd be waiting to drive away. So as he's running toward my car, I see the store owners running after him. He throws the beer on he ground and runs seperate from my whip. I turn off my car and take the key out of the ignition as soon as one of the store owners gets in front of my ride. I get out and start bitching at him "why in the fuck are you in front of my car?!?!?"
"You were trying to steal beer from my store!"
"No I wasn't. It was that guy your friend is chasing, I was just sitting in my car here!"
so at this point, my homie get's pissed at the guy yelling at me.
"Hey motherfucker, you dont talk to my boy like that accusing him of shit! I'll fuck you up."
"Im calling the cops, you assholes just wait here" he replies.
so I say "call the fucking cops, we didn't do a god damned thing"
so the cops come, and the one older fat one recognizes me from last year when he caught me with a bowl (another long story where I evaded a charge.)
He tells me to wait outside with my boy in the rain while he and his partner go inside and speak with the store owners. They get the full story "Officer, we were just in our store when we see this young man running out with a case of beer without trying to pay for it. So we chase him, and we see these other two young men waiting for him right outside. That's when we called you. My brother is out trying to find the other guy right now."
at this point I walk into the store with my boy in tow.
"Im sick of standing in the rain. We're going to just wait in here."
the officer addresses the store owner "So you didn't see either of these two young men stealing anything from your store?"
"no, but I know they were waiting on their friend."
"well, since it was neither of them who did it and we can't find their friend... I can't do anything about it."
so the cops makes us go outside and starts talking with me.
"I dont care what you say kid, it's all bullshit. We both know damn well what you were trying to do here. You're just lucky I can't find your friend. Now, I remember you from last time. And I can tell you've already been drinking tonight, it's all over your breath and you're getting mouthy with me. I dont want to see you ever again while Im at work. I'll have a car parked right outside here waiting for you to jump into your car drunk. If you try to move that vehice from now until 6a.m. when my shift ends, I'll have you arrested. Now have fun walking home in the rain."
"Thanks for the break officer. But there's one thing you must know- I have three very expensive guitars in the back seat of my car. Now, since you've just verbally stated to me and my friend here that you're going to be watching my vehicle, Im counting on you to make sure nothing happens to them guitars. If for any reason my car is vandalized, I'll take you and your partner to court for just simply not doing your job. If they can arrest me for not stopping or reporting a crime, they'll do much worse to you."
"Alright kid. You're car is going to be fine, just dont try and drive it you understand? Now I have more important things to do..."
at that, they leave and we start walking. Im all over the cell trying to find my homeboy and get a ride. We do all that shit and end up back at the crib, beerless. Some Jim Beam shows up somehow in an hour or so, and the night wasnt a complete loss.
The next morning I realize where I changed my fate- by turning off my car and taking the key out of the ignition. If not for that- regardless of whether or not I was sitting in it- I would've gotten an O.W.I and been fucked. The cop knew that, but I was just too pissed off denying any involvement and appauled that they would accuse me of any crime, the bastards. So thats the end of that.
Detroit and the Metro area has the highest rate in the country for lawsuits filed against police departments for unlawful practices in regards to making arrests. Yes, EVEN MORE THAN LOS ANGELES.
My advice to all of ya'll...
DONT ACT SCARED OF ANY FUCKING COP. You're a citizen of this country with rights protected under the state and federal constitutions. And, as long as you have basic knowledge of the law regarding search and seizures and speak intelligently to a judge, it's not very hard to fight cops in court.
Dont look at any motherfucker with a badge as better than or above you. Although he holds the power to arrest you, as long as you respect him and show that you demand his respect for your rights, things should run smoothly.
oh yeah.. and learn when to give up. Ya'll dont even know how easily a misdemeanor can turn into a felony.
My boys in Prison right now for "accesory to armed robbery". He might've got off on a lighter sentence if it weren't for him speeding up the second the cruiser got in his rearview.
Get all the laws straight in your head so you can recite them to any cop trying to fuck with you. Policeman strive on knowing you're afraid of them and what they can do to you. To live as an outlaw, you must be one thing aboe any other- honest.