Baby Jokes....

[WHITE DEVIL]

How do you get 10 babies in a cup?
A Blender

How do you get them out?
Doritos

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a toupe?
A dead baby isnt socially acceptable to wear in public

What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.

Why didn't they crucify baby Jesus?
I don't know why they didn't either.

What is red and creeps up your leg?
A homesick abortion.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.

Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.

What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies

What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.

What's grosser than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

 

[surcaliman]

how did helen kellers parents punish her when she was bad?..they left the plunger in the toilet.

 

[Gas One]

what do you call a shaken baby?




ssssssynnnndrooooome

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
enough to make a ladder

what do you call a baby drinking wheat grass?

a crackers baby

 

[B-Buzz]

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a cheese grater.

What's the difference between a baby and a bag of Dorito's?
I don't skull fuck a bag of Dorito's before I eat it.
(Also acceptable- I don't cum on the Doritos before I eat it)


What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Cadillac?
I don't have a Caddy in my garage.

What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Getting them out of the wheelchair.

 

[mrtonguetwista]

How did Helen Keller burn her face?
Answering the waffle iron

How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back

 

[mrtonguetwista]

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was AARRRRGHGGHARARARHGH

 

[rawtunes]

yall niggas is wierd bruh

 

[NiNe2FiVe]

Whats the difference between babies and light bulbs?
You cant load light bulbs on a truck with pitchfork.

 

[Syko Sniper]

hhahahaha you sick fucks!!!!!!11111

 

[MuneyHongry650]

this thread is WPS

 

[mrtonguetwista]

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
Rearranging the living room.

Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?
So you could read her lips

 

[Defy]

what do you call a baby drinking wheat grass?

a crackers baby

LMAO!!!

 

[Gas One]

What would the Adopted child of the ambiguously gay duo of Marc Anthony and Busta Rhymes be named?

Marc Ass Busta.

 

[mrtonguetwista]

What would the Adopted child of the ambiguously gay duo of Marc Anthony and Busta Rhymes be named?

Marc Ass Busta.

No.

 

[Gas One]

i dont need you telling me no, fat boy

save that shit for when people ask to wear your snake

god im mean today. sorry.

 

[mrtonguetwista]

Still no.

 

[usernamex]

WPS

...#2.

 

[carl winslow]

whats funnier than a dead baby?

a dead baby in a clown suit


why do you put babies in the blender feet first?

to watch the expression on their face after you turn it on


what do you call a nig...oh wait. those type of jokes are taking it too far huh?

 

[WHITE DEVIL]

WPS

 

[mrtonguetwista]

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.

How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.

What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.