abondonment of children by black males

[radiostationrep]

true.

thats a good word, responsibility. trouble is when we grow up in a shitty enviroment, and without a guiding hand, it can be very hard to resist bad influences. especially when everyone around you is not doing the right thing either.

but that has nothing to do with anything once you become an adult and can put things in perspective. no doubt things you see growing up affect you in life. but its the denial that makes it impossible 4 change. i see people that grew up without fathers, having kids and repeating the cycle. imo its because there in denial. in denial about the real reasons they live how they live and do what they do.. but ultimately theres no excuse. little girls without fathers end up trying to find that missing love in boyfriends,pimps, etc. not all but a good majority im sure. young boys just end up growing up too fast get caught up and say they had no choice. yeah its tough no doubt, but theres a 100 ways to get to the bay area but you end up at the same point in the end. theres 100's of ways to make it in life, but you end up and same place in the end. food for thought.

 

[Dhadnot]

but that has nothing to do with anything once you become an adult and can put things in perspective. no doubt things you see growing up affect you in life. but its the denial that makes it impossible 4 change. i see people that grew up without fathers, having kids and repeating the cycle. imo its because there in denial. in denial about the real reasons they live how they live and do what they do.. but ultimately theres no excuse. little girls without fathers end up trying to find that missing love in boyfriends,pimps, etc. not all but a good majority im sure. young boys just end up growing up too fast get caught up and say they had no choice. yeah its tough no doubt, but theres a 100 ways to get to the bay area but you end up at the same point in the end. theres 100's of ways to make it in life, but you end up and same place in the end. food for thought.

Just because you reach a certain age and are legally deemed an adult doesn't mean you can put things in perspective. The people who are dead beat dads, nd other kinds of fuck ups, have had a skewed vision of reality since they were kids and their messed up perspective only widens a lil bit to include adult responsibilites but even though they see more doesn't mean their perspective still isn't clouded. The people who make it out of messed up family situations to become someone either have a really supportive person tucked away in their life (teacher, peer, older family member,etc.), or a crazy almost superhuman will to survive and escape their situation. The truth is most people can't compete with the craziness of their enviroment, after so many years of being hit and ingrained with backwards ass bullshit, most people are subdued and suscribe to it.

 

[rekomstop]

seriously, if adults could just "put things in perspective" by "being an adult" (wtf that means lol)
then, shit we wouldn't have half the problems we have today, we all just have our own versions of reality, a dynamic version, but nonetheless a personal version of reality, and that is what keeps us seperate, special, 'different' from the next human, am i correct?

so, i think Dhadnot, is onto something, even though OF COURSE i wish, everyone could 'wake up' and want to be responsible adults in this society, because that just makes everything run smoother, but not everyone has a mom, grandma, good friend, etc, to help them out, some believe hate and distrust is the true and only way just the same as any christian praising jesus and forgiveness.


Now, what i ask now, is informing people of this tradition, and this man's pov, be a good reason for change within the black community?

 

[radiostationrep]

yeah, some people never grow up.

thats life i guess. putting things in perspective and being an adult means quit living in denial. except things, get over it, and move forward. people can keep making excuses for themselves their whole lives. a support system definately helps.

 

[NovaFire]

but that has nothing to do with anything once you become an adult and can put things in perspective. no doubt things you see growing up affect you in life. but its the denial that makes it impossible 4 change. i see people that grew up without fathers, having kids and repeating the cycle. imo its because there in denial. in denial about the real reasons they live how they live and do what they do.. but ultimately theres no excuse. little girls without fathers end up trying to find that missing love in boyfriends,pimps, etc. not all but a good majority im sure. young boys just end up growing up too fast get caught up and say they had no choice. yeah its tough no doubt, but theres a 100 ways to get to the bay area but you end up at the same point in the end. theres 100's of ways to make it in life, but you end up and same place in the end. food for thought.

naw man, im going to have to disagree with you on this one. It takes a real iron will to get out of the negativity thats around in a shitty enviroment. And not even that, but to make it out without any support is near to impossible. I believe the people who get a head start in life, like those whose parents can afford to keep them above the fray, dont know what its like at all. yeah theres no doubt some people live in self denial all their live, hell theres even rich people that live like that. the difference is the rich are well off, and were handed a chance to succeed. but that by no means means you cant make it out, its just the perspective.

 

[radiostationrep]

im not saying im wrong or right.

naw man, im going to have to disagree with you on this one. It takes a real iron will to get out of the negativity thats around in a shitty enviroment. And not even that, but to make it out without any support is near to impossible. I believe the people who get a head start in life, like those whose parents can afford to keep them above the fray, dont know what its like at all. yeah theres no doubt some people live in self denial all their live, hell theres even rich people that live like that. the difference is the rich are well off, and were handed a chance to succeed. but that by no means means you cant make it out, its just the perspective.

and yeah a head start helps. but ultimately like ive been saying, we can make every excuse in the book. its mind over matter in the end. you work construction. look around. your a doctor, look around. the good thing about america is you can be whatever you want no matter the background. ultimately its the question of are you willing to make it happen. you make your reality and if you come from a bad envirement, at some point you come to the conclusion theres no future, so why not make the change?

 

[NovaFire]

and yeah a head start helps. but ultimately like ive been saying, we can make every excuse in the book. its mind over matter in the end. you work construction. look around. your a doctor, look around. the good thing about america is you can be whatever you want no matter the background. ultimately its the question of are you willing to make it happen. you make your reality and if you come from a bad envirement, at some point you come to the conclusion theres no future, so why not make the change?

yeah your right on that, you can make every excuse you can think of, but in the end it all comes down a simple answer and choice; do you want to get out, and are you willing to. If you do, then bad habits have to be removed from the picture, along with anything that will hold you back, and that my friend is the real hard part.