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infinity

( o )( o )
May 4, 2005
16,189
64,829
113
38
UOENO, CA
infinity @infinity

Call 1-800-273-8255
I sexually Identify as a killer clown. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of hiding in the dark and chasing people. People say to me that a person being a killer clown is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon make my skin white and install a permanent red nose on me. From now on I want you guys to call me “Chuckles” and respect my right to chase people down at night.
 

infinity

( o )( o )
May 4, 2005
16,189
64,829
113
38
UOENO, CA
I saw Kanye at a grocery store in Los Angeles a while ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
 

infinity

( o )( o )
May 4, 2005
16,189
64,829
113
38
UOENO, CA
I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns.
 

infinity

( o )( o )
May 4, 2005
16,189
64,829
113
38
UOENO, CA
The age of un-ironic, tame, and respectful comedy is no more. No longer are the days of complex planned and laid out comedy writing. Nowadays Generation Z runs amok. Tainting creativity by taking a piss at of what our earlier generations strive to accomplish. We now show our contemptuous ancestors a complete lack of reverence. By shitting on the indefatigable and persistent hard working foundation they laid for the birth of our generation. Hi. My name is Sir. Shit-of-the-Post The Third, and I'll be wrapping your nuts with several layers of intellectual babble. Hoping to teach you The 'Art' of the Shitpost. In years before our time, man in the land of the free worked their asses off. Subduing to hard labor, almost becoming an indomitable force to be reckoned with. They grew large muscles and knew their way around a jackhammer. Nowadays you'd be lucky to find a Beta male that can hold a screwdriver upper height. But this boom of the digital world we know today is what we call "Generation Z". Anyone born starting from the mid-1990s has been blessed into a world of sociopathy. One where the LED screens capture more of our attention than the earth we walk upon. This unconquerable landscape has bared the society of nihilism and pessimism. One that lacks conscientiousness and breeds depression. With this digital world comes a desert of originality. A desert that sucks dry the creativity our brains used to harbor. It's kind of like when you jacked off to the same thing over and over again. For example, I've masturbated and ejaculated to the same pornography video of this blonde girl shoving her vagina upon a blue dildo against the wall. After awhile it gets quite stale, and your penis doesn't even feel like exerting any more of its juices. So you're just left there each Saturday night with a mess of pre-cum over your glands. That's kind of like what the Internet is like. And this is what started the Shit-post. The beautiful thing we spread all over our Twitter pages and Tumblr walls. See, a Shit-post is seen as such an uninspired, unimaginative, mundane piece of art. You stumble upon a Shit-post online and unless you've yet to grow in your testicles you're not going to give it a chuckle. Or even think about watching it twice. It's in the name. Now this is where I think the Internet society has missed out. Shit-post had become sort of a misunderstood and misconstrued art form. When Picasso was painting a beautiful fuckery of shapes and colours, which seemingly failed to tell a story and lacked meaning, Those with dull minds saw nothing but a canvas filled with strokes. By someone who probably had a stroke while making it. It was only the few "Special" types who saw it differently. Now those dumb-asses are wrong. There's no meaning, it's just a bunch of paint on a canvas. But Shit-posting exists to mimic and parody the brand of artistic expression. The one where there is meaning in no meaning at all. God, art is fucking stupid. Show you what makes a Shit-post grand and what makes a Shit-post... Well... Shit.
 

BUTCHER 206

FREE BUTCHER206
Aug 22, 2003
12,316
109,201
113
Seattle, WA
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lol