Then honestly tbh fam id just get drunk at work
man something always happens, every single time i swear. something happened last time what was it, oh yeah some drunk guy tried to dip on the cops and smash into the parking garage to lose them, but they were right on his bumper basically lol pretty sure his friend got beat up or he did i dunno i havent seen him around after that, they brought like 20 cops and rifles and a couple dogs and all kinds of shit
then the time before that i drank a 6 pack of high life tall cans, oh guess what, field supervisor shows up to do some kind of stupid self defense training, so im all lightweight drunk and he knows it, having to do some kinda written test then demonstrate how to do all this bullshit that ill never use ever lol