Freedom Town: Aesthetic and Recreational Lawn Alternative

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Nov 18, 2010
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BUTCHERS GUIDE TO AVOIDING POLICE ENCOUNTERS WHILE DRIVING:

1. Be white or "look white"
2. No visible tattoos
3. Wear a dress shirt or button up shirt or anything other than a t-shirt
4. Have a valid drivers license, insurance, license plate and valid registration and tabs. This goes a long way in helping you look and smell innocent; your innocent aura will waft out of your car and the cops can smell how legal you are subconsciously like hogs sensing underground truffles and they wont even glance at you
5. Drive with your headlights on at all hours of the day, and always use your turn signals
6. Have a law enforcement memorial commemorative license plate (i can't actually afford this one myself they make you buy a new plate for like $120 every year but trust me it goes a long way)
7. Drive a shitty car and look poor. Cops can't squeeze blood from a stone they'll ticket the bigger fish out there
8. Don't have narcotics or anything illegal in your car
9. Don't break any traffic laws
10. Be sober

Follow these easy steps i guarantee you won't ever be pulled over or harassed by the cops
You forgot the most important one: no fitted hats.