Joan Rivers dead at 81
- Thread starter DuceTheTruth
- Start date
I had a feeling this was no coincidence... I got to thinking, michelle obama has been crazy on that lil healthier kids movement, so it would make sense that she stay in shape so she dosent look hypocritical. So once she heard joan rivers callin her man a fag and her a tranny, she started going crazy with testosterone and got super pissed off at her.
So what actually happened was, she hacked into joan rivers cellphone calendar plans, and swooped it up from the cloud. Once she found out she was having throat surgery, she went and cased the hospital where it would be performed.
On the night of the surgery, michelle obama used her man power (because she is in fact a man) to strangle the security guard in the hospital parking lot. There were too many guards inside, so she climbed the fire escape of the building next to the hospital, jackie chan'd her way up to the roof, and used her parkour skills to take a running leap, crashing thru the hospital's 5th floor window into the stairwell. She then used her testostorone-infused ninja skills and pressed the pressure point on the next security guard's neck and made him pass out. Then she did the same to a doctor, and stole his scrubs. Now, dressed as a doctor with a facemask covering her face, she bypassed the security code and entered the operating room.
She then pulled a vile of non-traceable poison from her butt (because she does not have a vagina), and while nobody was looking, she secreted the poison into joan rivers' iv, killing her within minutes.
Then she made a slightly sketchy escape, as she was actually caught while making her getaway but the security guard couldnt see her face because it was still covered. She ran toward the window, and again made a running leap thru the window, shed her doctor scrubs off, and steered her lightweight polyester flying squirrel suit safely from the hospital's fifth floor to the ground in a nearby alleyway, where she had her getaway segway ready to make her final escape.
The only description the security guards could give of the perpatrator was a medium-build, middle-aged black male.
So what actually happened was, she hacked into joan rivers cellphone calendar plans, and swooped it up from the cloud. Once she found out she was having throat surgery, she went and cased the hospital where it would be performed.
On the night of the surgery, michelle obama used her man power (because she is in fact a man) to strangle the security guard in the hospital parking lot. There were too many guards inside, so she climbed the fire escape of the building next to the hospital, jackie chan'd her way up to the roof, and used her parkour skills to take a running leap, crashing thru the hospital's 5th floor window into the stairwell. She then used her testostorone-infused ninja skills and pressed the pressure point on the next security guard's neck and made him pass out. Then she did the same to a doctor, and stole his scrubs. Now, dressed as a doctor with a facemask covering her face, she bypassed the security code and entered the operating room.
She then pulled a vile of non-traceable poison from her butt (because she does not have a vagina), and while nobody was looking, she secreted the poison into joan rivers' iv, killing her within minutes.
Then she made a slightly sketchy escape, as she was actually caught while making her getaway but the security guard couldnt see her face because it was still covered. She ran toward the window, and again made a running leap thru the window, shed her doctor scrubs off, and steered her lightweight polyester flying squirrel suit safely from the hospital's fifth floor to the ground in a nearby alleyway, where she had her getaway segway ready to make her final escape.
The only description the security guards could give of the perpatrator was a medium-build, middle-aged black male.
I thought she was funny, in more of a fucc you and the high horse you rode on type of shit. She always told it like it was, never bit her tongue. Gotta love her for that! R.I.P.
Props:
Gemini and Gemini