Im so glad i never got a dui... Ive done some stupid ass shit. Im extremely lucky not to have one
Hit that right from farmers lane onto hwy 12 completely blacked out doing like 90 and ran up on the median and destroyed 3 wheels and the undercarrige...blacked back in to me fishtailing down 12 with the car violently jerking back and forth and said "hey, this isnt my driiiiveway"... Did what any fine young gentleman would do, and dumped it on the side of the highway and fled the scene.
Then i came back sober got it towed and fixed and a couple months later i totaled it while driving blacked out... My lil bro needed ride to school at like 7:30 but i had just got back home at like 5:00 so i was still drunk... (I guess i smoked some weed with him too which probably sent me over). Anyways i hit a right turn and sideswiped a parked car hella bad and totaled my car. The whole front left fender was bashed in, and the hood was folded up almost in half and i could not see over it. So again,i did what any gentleman would do, backed up, put it in drive, put my blinker on to be safe, and fled the scene.
Then i had got a ride to the police station to make a report, i tell the desk jockey cop lady "i hit a parked car". She ratatats the keyboard for a minute, then tells me "well the person that you hit did not file a police report, which is illegal. So basically that makes it their fault." I had full insurance on my car at the time, so the insurance company went with what the police said, and gave me $3000 towards a new car.
-------bonus track:
Another time short version: left party in cotati smaaaaaaashed, so smashed that before i leave i find 2 cups, one red one blue, and filled them with beer from the keg, put them in the cupholders (along with my weed and zanex in the glove) and hit the nearest on-ramp 101 north back to the turf. So i get hungry on the way, get off the freeway and as soon as i hit santa rosa ave, a sheriff gets behind me... I drive a block then pull into wendys, he pulls into wendys, i pull up to the drive-thru, he pulls up right behind my ass hella close, and nothing happens. Car moves up i order my chicken nuggets and frostie, i leave and he stays. He was just hungry.
And thats not even all the close calls ive had, i just dont wanna type anymore its hurting my brain