Marilyn Walker (
[email protected]) wrote:
I hate repeating myself, but this is for all the kids who missed it on
alt.rap (I'll cross-post from now on)
JOHN DOE's Almighty Bicoastal Armegaddon Starchild FlowWith Extra Sprinkles On Top & Sides
I represent the west don't be mislead by that other shit
20 P-Funk samples and they think they're from the mother ship
G-Funk? Come on y'all, I smother it
Don't get me wrong P-Funk gets mad props and hollars
Their thought and hard work is what's bringing suckers dollars
I abolish the stereotypes they've brought upon us
I've been schooled in the east and graduated with honors
Word is bond, it's now the west where I reside
I maintain my stance while my peirs subside
When the white exec's offered
E-40 complied
He spits words fast with verses and styles dead like hurses
He can't write for shit so he dribbles drabbles and babbles on
Off pace with the wack beats that he's rapping on
Sounding like a drum machine clapping on, his tracks
He's strapped with a rubber plated cardboard 22
Biting his rhymes, he gets frightened when I'm sending you
Bending you with pro-verbs he's got commercial ad-verbs
And just for the radio he takes out the bad words
Play it backwords, and theres still no kind of message
Beats are casio keybord, not phat but compressed it's
Kind of stupid aint it? Don't debate it
40's album's got more filling than a danish
I'll stab his pressure points like Sydney Poitier doing acupuncture
Teach a cop to fly when I see a wacker junction
The click is like a whole crew of whining Horshack's
Money money money and that's they go for, black
Contradicting like muslims with terret syndrome
40's wack crew's gonna be left smoking indo in limbo
His off beat styles sound so simple
He's just a businessman when it comes down to the mental
Orientation lacing catchphrases in with his wack word placement
All these crew's screaming "real" are faker than Master Ace Inc.
I'm replacing what I face because I'm tre bien
Too $hort is wacker than Marin county caucasians
Ambitions shrink when crews catch a glimps
Of an intellegent MC smashing empty minded pimps
Too $hort is a simple
Sucker like Kool J but without the dimples
John Doe flows like the wind blows
Too $hort is choppy flopping over sloppy overused brakes
Never done in two takes; modulated and bull faced
I've never seen an uglier pimp daddy
Probably impotent so lets call him the limp laddy
Looking like a bald headed black Letterman
I represent Chocolate City like the Jeffersons
Too $hort? That's what you're ex-girl told you
She had a thicker mustache than Sister Soljah
Simplistic sexist linguistics make me scold you
With rhymes packing more power than coffee made by Foldgers
It's time somebody lays down the law
It's time he drops the mic and pulls up his ripped drawers
How many times can you whine about your money and whores?
Close your jaws before you speak and make me laugh
This is a test like a canary in a mine shaft
I know he'll fold faster than The Flash at a laundry mat
His rhyming is repeditive; far from fascinating
Now he's got his hands full like Long Dong Silvers masturbating
My words are sharp like a knife lacerating
His wack ass, no debate is intended
If you step to the mic either leave it wrecked or lend it
To the next man a new proffession is recommended
$hort Dog does hip hop no glory
Wack like Dr Dre and his made-up gangster stories
Sellout house nigga living honkey dory
Saying he's broke in his own pool doing laps
All these playground MC's fall off like scabs
Skills disappear like alaka abracadab
Far from fabulous and his flow is kind of muddy
Before you name yourself "doctor", you should study
I heard that him and Snoop are very best butt budies
And look at Warren G, no skills still got an album
Sucking his brothers nuts long enough and he allowed him
Dr Dre's a disgrace selling out to the talcolm
He'll be left dead and naked in the outcome
Word to brother Malcolm
Dre shirts and hat's when will we see his cereal?
Words of ignorance screaming claiming he's imperial
Those wack metaphores aint even demo tape material
When NWA broke up I rejoiced
It must be all the Ide's 6-packs sacks and joints
Cause in all his years of rhyming I've still never heard a point
All he know's how to do is act the fool and exploit
Black people, he's see-through
Glorifying evil, filthly like swine's fecal
Matter my rhymes make ego's splatter
Bladders burst when I wreck shop like Patty Hearst
Snoop is wacker than hackey sack attacked he defends
But where will he go when trancended?
He fell behind before Marley Marl's career ended
Bended, fixed, mended and lended a dope beat
His bland vocals still choke hold his own discrete demise
It's no suprise his rise is waning
Can't be god for 3 years without updating or maintaining
Atomic Dog can only be sampled so many times
He does it no justice with those Grade Z petty rhymes
You got your money on like
Ray Love now go the fuck away
He "got no love for girls" but I wont blast him cause he's gay
I bust up his ego strictly due to his display
And his association with the white owned label called Death Row
Make a buck and making 10 for Bubba Jimmy Jethrow
Exploitation that's been spread from the plantation
To the so called "black radio stations" test my patients
Spreading stereotypes to give a chuckle to caucasians
So many follow that path it's just amazing
That you see their thuggish Bone asses on a Panther soundtrack
Bippity zibbety shit's fast but their beats and voices sound wack
Kids got the nuts that a Mounds packs; none
Talking like they're gangsters but they don't pack guns
Glorifying gangbanging; making it look fun
Once again giving the white man a chuckle
When they learn to stop the suckle under pressure they'll just buckle
Cause once you've sold your soul took their mold and gone gold
Your words will have been told and you'll receive real brother's scolds
It's dirty money all these "gangsta" kids are making
Exploit their fellow man taking deals with hand shaking
"Buyaka" like a Jamaican but they're really just faking
At this point it's on a downfall like a blind ground hog
NWA, I wish the public never found y'all
Cause Just-Ice on a hot day could drown y'all
I flow medium fast smashing sassafrass trash
Every time I drop a demo my tracks give kids whiplash
Twenty crackhead's couldn't hit that
But don't try to spit that, kid
Because I'll know that you bit that
MC's these days only spit babble and such
Nice & Smooth unravled Slick Rick lost his touch
Teeth are the only way in which the Wu get buck
Pop dissing hipocrites acting hard by saying "fuck"
If you want dope metaphores in hordes, you're out of luck
Acting crazy don't amaze me Method Man's third eye is lazy
If he thinks 36 gimmiks are ever gonna make me
Buy his wack album laced with catchphrase lines
And look, some Dirty Bastard's biting Buster's phat rhymes
"No Hooks" IS the hook, care to look and you'll find
Like the O-Jays, money is why it's designed
Collaborating with SWV and Shaquile
Still they continue to diss pop, fake gold teeth yelling "real"
Attaining mass appeal while biting like a meal
I don't follow blind crowds, like Just-Ice said "That The Way I Feel"