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L.D.S.

The Bakersman
Aug 14, 2006
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Mizzourah
Had I not been dressed out in my officials gear, I would have mollywhopped that fat mother fucker heckling me tonight.

That's one thing I hate about being an umpire; the psychological feeling that since I'm making judgments on plays that make or break the game, that everyone feels entitled to their LOUD ASS OPINION as to whether or not I'm making good calls.

I'm fucking sorry, ok? I'm fucking sorry. Once again, I'm sorry as fuck that your Little Big Town singin ass had to take a break from fucking your goats to come out and watch your son's shitty ass baseball team get beat 28-14 in a 5 inning game. I'm sorry, ok?

There's nothing I can do about your shallow gene pool or your terrible ass baseball team that physically threatened me after I made a terrific call on a shitty baserunner running past the bag. That bag's there SO YOU WILL STOP ON IT. If your retarded ass steps off the bag and the defensive player has his ball and glove on your shoulder, then you're out. I'm sorry your fucking hot ass mom couldn't see it, and I'm even more sorry that she thinks I "suck".

But I swear to God if I see your mom or dad at fucking McDonald's, I am going to make their lives a living hell for a breif period, so they, too, can feel what it's like to be derided and embarrassed while performing job-related tasks.

There, I feel better.
 

L.D.S.

The Bakersman
Aug 14, 2006
19,934
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Mizzourah
28-14? Isnt there a 10 run rule in little league any more? Or is this the bullshit rules where there are no outs and every kid gets to bat once an inning? Fucking 90's babies pussify everything.
Yeah, you're right... but this was high school... and the VISITING TEAM was up 24-4 in the top of the third, and if the score had remained the same, the game would have been over because there's a 15 after 3 run rule... but it didn't because the teams could hit, but neither of those sorry ass excuses for baseball players could field a fucking routine grounder to save their lives. These fucking kids put up FOOTBALL NUMBERS in a baseball game, and I had to stand there and watch it happen. A couple of safe calls because of pulled-feet and bad throws later, and I'm everybody's favorite hated umpire.

I've got another game on Friday, and it will be handled a hell of a lot differently this time around.

If Im not mistaken "Run Rule" kicks in after 5 innings.

Jed, that whole post was comedy!
Shit, I wish I didn't have to write it. lol

I called almost 150 games last year and about a handful of them went down that way. I'm reading the coaches the riot act Friday if their fans start that bullshit again.

Oh, and some fat fuck who knew my name (Jeb... close enough... too close) said under his breath that he was going to call "TRIPLE A" on me because of my attitude. LMAO

Go ahead, call my auto insurance company. They're gonna be pissed.
 

L.D.S.

The Bakersman
Aug 14, 2006
19,934
4,044
113
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Mizzourah
Shaved most of my beard today.

I'm slowly getting use to the fact that I'll be down to only a mustache in my next play.

That's tough. I've had a beard for five years.