peep this and tell me what u think

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C

chris capo

Sicc OG
#1
Mar 17, 2003
1,178
0
0
38
#1
this is just a lil somethin somethin i wanted to see what u all think of it

im comin to a hood near you/its syke o c comin through/your bodies liek the exorcist do/they say syke you got issues/whats your excuse/bitch fuck with me and all yo bitch will have is some tissues/what u rap about/chris been through/hes heard cries as a dead body lies/so when i turn psycho it wont be no surprise/i got the evil visons marination in my mind like killin scenes from televison/fuck a kitten/you think i wont kick the shit out of it u trippen/visions of myself with claws/body parts rippin/its syke o c i aint no vampire slaya/if yo bitch refuse to suck my dick ima cut her head off and make her/syke o c kill anybody yet?/fo sho he didnt/im the type of dude to make the black girls be like "oh no he didnt"/fo sho he did/i think when i was young i had demons creepin over my crib
 
S

SlangsumLangsam

Sicc OG
#6
Oct 26, 2002
890
0
0
36
#6
multis and metaphores, multiple rhymes in a bar instead of jus rhyming tha last syllable of every bar, and metas to say like tha snow is as white as cocaine or sum shit like that, maybe thats a similie but yea

peaaaaaace
 
S

Sicc_Wit_It

Sicc OG
#9
Nov 14, 2002
2,205
0
0
39
#9
I like some simple raps, but this was too damn simple. Like Slang already said, throw some metaphors in there and shit, make it sound a lil' more complicated. You also need to improve ya wordplay, or should I say create wordplay cuz I didn't c any at all. Stay at it though. ~`1`~
 
M

meezatine

Sicc OG
#10
Apr 3, 2003
165
0
0
#10
yea theze cats are givin u sum good advice take it/it will up your game anotch mayne/ an if no one already expalined multies are like/... u triped off acid rise u out your caskit for your last ass kickin never foget to stay strappin/.. half u all niggaz talk about cappin this in-dus-try cats that only exist when u rappin it-must-be your actin that got u back in it... u no sumthin like that just get it to flow smoother an your words are too simple... go to barnes an noble an get a book called how to improve your vocabulary in 30 days trust me youll have such an adverse vocab it mite just be insane... jk dont do all that
 
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