Peep and crit

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Nov 14, 2002
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#1
This is a quicc versed I got craccin' in like 5 minutes. It definteily needs work, but I wan't y'all to peep the roughdraft. It's for a collabo entitled "Wake Up". Anyways...

[Wake Up]
I was born with nothin’ to lose, so I stay bustin’ on dudes //
I’ma die a champion so a challenge I musn’t refuse //
I’m used to spittin’ words to ya brain, until ya hurtin’ in pain //
Came in with a heart that’s brave and perverted the game //
Siccer than sane? Contracted insanity at birth //
I’m one of the siccest minds to ever walk the earth //
Curse you at birth, with force enter though yo ambilical cord //
My biblical swords slice when I spit these sicc metaphors //
Devour your liver and tors – ohhhh(torso)… you don’t believe me //
I give these weak emcees the heebie geebies and make they knees weak //
You can’t see me, that’s harder than reading the Matrix computer screen //
My veins bleed blue, but my pupils wanna see only green //
And I keep ‘em fiendin’, never know when my time might end //
So I spend every last breath with my family and friends //
Dear God I’m hell-sent, it’s like I’m living a nightmare //
Sometimes I might stare into those eyes inhalin’ the night air //
So beware, cuz I got my glocc loaded and chuks laced up //
Got my face stained blood so I’m ready and prepared when I wake up //
Make sure y’all dudes stay up and catch the coming of the GAWD //
I rocc spots so hard and spit so hot I melt whole bloccs //
Keep one eye close and the other wide open stucc on the clocc //
Waitin’ for my time to wake up, get up and show ‘em how we ROCC //
 
Aug 4, 2002
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www.soundclick.com
#2
dope man,

Dear God I’m hell-sent, it’s like I’m living a nightmare //
Sometimes I might stare into those eyes inhalin’ the night air //

str8.. feelin the rough copy.. holla back with the finished product.. paece
 
A

All Out HOGG

Guest
#4
I liked most of it...Theres only 2 querls i have with it...for some strange reasom the word champion sounds lame...& im not too into the parts where you spit about spittin...but other then that its tight... 8/10
 
May 10, 2002
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#5
good for a keystyle i see a lot of areas for you to make better but this has potential homie..post it up when its all finished i'll check it out...1