Like I've said practice make perfect...

[All Hallowz Eve]

Expanded my brain to brand new fetishes,//
leavin' fake muthafuccaz with bloody blemishes,//
wonderin' where the fuccin' medics is.//
With teeth like this, shit I gotta eat flesh.//
Automatically make a mess,//
with barehads not nines or techs.//
Life in an acute phsycotic motions,//
that's my diagnosis.//
No that's not official, I made that up when I wrote this.//
Call me the Phantom of Ratification of your free will.//
All Hallowz make your spine chill.//
In my presence this a predatorial kill...//

Little rusty....

 

[GANGSTAEIGHT]

keep own doin it mayne !!

 

[J-Sin]

try writing it out in bars the way you would rap it, it would be easier to read and understand where you can make a hard line stand out.

this was short, nothing i haven't seen, seems like some two years ago material but if that's where you are, keep building.

 

[Mr. Samos]

rappin these days ain't about all the cars you drive, the money you got, shiny things on ya neck, or killing people

gotta have a reason to rap to even think about making it worth while..

its aight, keep writing.. learn to use meta4's and multis .. to creatie good wordplay

example of multis:

Ay yo, I remember chillin in the summer-time writin rhymes..
tryna take my mind off all of the (hatred-and-crime..) /
this (pavement-is-mine) .. i was born and i will (die-here(hear)-slow)..
greek .. age 15 .. bin rappin since about (five-years-ago)

don't focus on what i wrote, i wipped it up, im showing an example

(hatred-and-crime / pavement-is-mine)

(die-here-slow / five-years-ago )

theres an example of simple multis.. harnest them and use them