HILARIOUS!! I like #11 and #13 
16 Ways to tell if you are a serious booze appreciator:
1. You frequently urinate outdoors.
2. You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and then a
half-hour later you're afraid you won't.
3. You fall asleep taking a dump.
4. You believe that spilling your beer is Alcohol abuse.
5. You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
6. You find it easier to study drunk.
7. Beer ads make sense.
8. You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet bowl
and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
9. You wake up the next morning and start drinking a few of the half
empties left sitting around the room.
10. You fall down a flight of stairs and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
11. You mix your cocktails by the liter.
12. You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.
13. You put off urinating in hopes of reaching the near orgasmic, Zen-like
piss.
14. You explain to your bank manager that you spent your over-draft
"mainly on beer and women; the rest I just wasted".
15. When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5
16. You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect.
16 Ways to tell if you are a serious booze appreciator:
1. You frequently urinate outdoors.
2. You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and then a
half-hour later you're afraid you won't.
3. You fall asleep taking a dump.
4. You believe that spilling your beer is Alcohol abuse.
5. You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
6. You find it easier to study drunk.
7. Beer ads make sense.
8. You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet bowl
and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
9. You wake up the next morning and start drinking a few of the half
empties left sitting around the room.
10. You fall down a flight of stairs and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
11. You mix your cocktails by the liter.
12. You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.
13. You put off urinating in hopes of reaching the near orgasmic, Zen-like
piss.
14. You explain to your bank manager that you spent your over-draft
"mainly on beer and women; the rest I just wasted".
15. When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5
16. You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect.