Best Simpsons Quotes

[pimpsmooth420]

just was tight

the one 2 night they said modesto i swear i was like oh shit modesto on the simspson

 

[Spitz Unlimited]

PRINCIPLE SKINNER to that hamster: Quick, chew through my ball sack.

CLASSIC

 

[Villain]

Romantic Apu...

Manjula: A chocolate husband! Oh, how darling.
Apu: [from inside "statue"] Help! I can't breathe!
[chocolate cracks and falls from around his head; Apu gasps
for air]
Manjula: Oh, Apu! Oh, you are the sweetest filling of all.
Apu: Air ...Need air.
Manjula: Oh, Apu.
Apu: Don't talk, my ears are filled with nougat.
Manjula: Oh, dear, oh ...
Apu: There's a nut in my eye!

 

[Smitty]

From the Lord of the Flies episode where the kids were stranded on the island, and they want to eat the berries but don't know if they're poisonous or not, so they give em to Ralph to eat.

"It tastes like burning."-Ralph

 

[Smitty]

My second fav is from Ralph once again.

"I see a leprechaun. He tells me to burn things."

 

[c0rn brEaD!]

hay u dont gotta take that from $ome punk a$$ crab!-homer talking to pinche

 

[Mr. Illmannered]

Smitdaddy took my favorite. How about -

Marge - Homer, we need to get you to a scientist.
Homer - Is it Batman??
Marge - No Homer, its not Batman.
Homer - Batman's a scientist.

or

Moe - Hey Apu, you got a breakfast cereal for people with syphillis?

or

Lenny - Alchohol and night swimming, its a winning combonation!

or my all time favorite -

Mr. Burns - Dogs are idiots.

Speaking of Burns, anyone else like the one where the Burns casino is built? Theres a part where Burns remembers when he was a kid and he cripples and old Irish man with his bumper car. Then it shows him laughing for the next week straight, while hes at work, in the shower, eating, etc. I almost shit my pants when I first saw that one.

 

[BELLY408]

When the B-SHARPS are on stage...and Grampa Simpson says........

Grampa Simpson: Thats my son up there

OLD MAN: Who, the balding fat ass??

Grampa Simpson: No, the hindu guy

or

That elephant ate my entire platoon- Principle Skinner

 

[c0rn brEaD!]

i heard hiz a$$ had itz own congre$$man-jimbo jonez talking about homer when homer waz obe$e

 

[c0rn brEaD!]

*chief wiggum- oh well excuze me while i get detective like i give a damn!

*homer-oh thank goodne$$

*li$a-dad.

*homer-li$a honey daddy'z waiting for the detective

 

[SPORADIC]

aaarrrrggghhhhkarambaaaaa -Bart

 

[123456]

"What was i smoking, o yea pot" Ottoman

 

[Cut-Throat]

"he comes in to my store lookin at the dirty magazines pinching the paper bazooms"

thats from "Married with Chilren"...the hindu member of Bud's frat talkin about what Al does in his liquor store.

 

[c0rn brEaD!]

when homer getz caught in the oceanz current homer yellz at maggie "maggie quick, get aquaman!"

 

[BELLY408]

Listen to me you..when I catch you..I'm going to pull out your eyes and shove'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you..OK...then I'm gonna use your tounge to paint my boat--MOE

and

English......who needs that I'm never going to England--Homer

and

Me fail English...that unpossible--Ralph

 

[usctrojan415]

homer - ummmm hippo