Oct. 14) -- Irene Vilar makes no bones about it. She was an "abortion addict."
During a 17-year period -- beginning when she was 16 and ending at age 33 -- she terminated 15 pregnancies. In a newly published memoir, "Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict," Vilar describes how she got caught up in a vicious cycle.
"Of course, this did not mean I wanted to do it again and again," she told the Los Angeles Times. "A druggie also wants to stop every time."
When she met her first husband, she was a 16-year-old student and he was a 50-year-old professor at Syracuse University. He liked very young women and he said having children killed sexual desire.
Vilar said she rebelled by "forgetting" to take her birth control pills. After becoming pregnant, she would panic, thinking her husband would leave her. She would have an abortion and feel relief -- but before long, she would do it all over again.
She was also self-mutilating and made several suicide attempts, she writes.
Vilar also believes her problem was linked to her roots in Puerto Rico. Her mother -- who had been forced into having an unnecessary hysterectomy when she was 33 -- committed suicide by leaping from a moving car. Vilar was just 8 years old at the time and tried in vain to stop her mother from jumping.
Vilar's maternal grandmother was Puerto Rican nationalist Lolita Lebrón. In 1954, Lebrón and three other nationalists opened fire in the U.S. Capitol, wounding five congressmen. After spending 25 years in prison, Lebrón was pardoned by President Jimmy Carter in 1979. She is now 89 and in ill health.
In the wake of her first marriage, Vilar went on to find stability with a new husband. Now 40, she has two daughters, ages 5 and 3.
Vilar received 51 rejections before Other Press agreed to publish her memoir. She said she debated for years whether to even write the book, concerned about the response it might provoke.
"I am worried about my safety and the hate mail," she told ABC News. As a safety precaution, she has scheduled only closed-door interviews and will not do a book tour. Her name is not recorded in public property records, so she cannot be tracked down that way.
Vilar said she expected many women who fought to legalize abortion would be dismayed by her book. "My feeling was that I let them down. They risked their lives to give me this, and I abused that right,” she told the L.A. Times.
Charmaine Yoest, president of Americans United for Life, called Vilar's story "just so tragic."
"It really underscores everything we always say in the pro-life movement -- that abortion is part of a very sad story for women," Yoest said.
During a 17-year period -- beginning when she was 16 and ending at age 33 -- she terminated 15 pregnancies. In a newly published memoir, "Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict," Vilar describes how she got caught up in a vicious cycle.
"Of course, this did not mean I wanted to do it again and again," she told the Los Angeles Times. "A druggie also wants to stop every time."
When she met her first husband, she was a 16-year-old student and he was a 50-year-old professor at Syracuse University. He liked very young women and he said having children killed sexual desire.
Vilar said she rebelled by "forgetting" to take her birth control pills. After becoming pregnant, she would panic, thinking her husband would leave her. She would have an abortion and feel relief -- but before long, she would do it all over again.
She was also self-mutilating and made several suicide attempts, she writes.
Vilar also believes her problem was linked to her roots in Puerto Rico. Her mother -- who had been forced into having an unnecessary hysterectomy when she was 33 -- committed suicide by leaping from a moving car. Vilar was just 8 years old at the time and tried in vain to stop her mother from jumping.
Vilar's maternal grandmother was Puerto Rican nationalist Lolita Lebrón. In 1954, Lebrón and three other nationalists opened fire in the U.S. Capitol, wounding five congressmen. After spending 25 years in prison, Lebrón was pardoned by President Jimmy Carter in 1979. She is now 89 and in ill health.
In the wake of her first marriage, Vilar went on to find stability with a new husband. Now 40, she has two daughters, ages 5 and 3.
Vilar received 51 rejections before Other Press agreed to publish her memoir. She said she debated for years whether to even write the book, concerned about the response it might provoke.
"I am worried about my safety and the hate mail," she told ABC News. As a safety precaution, she has scheduled only closed-door interviews and will not do a book tour. Her name is not recorded in public property records, so she cannot be tracked down that way.
Vilar said she expected many women who fought to legalize abortion would be dismayed by her book. "My feeling was that I let them down. They risked their lives to give me this, and I abused that right,” she told the L.A. Times.
Charmaine Yoest, president of Americans United for Life, called Vilar's story "just so tragic."
"It really underscores everything we always say in the pro-life movement -- that abortion is part of a very sad story for women," Yoest said.
