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Hot! Suge Knight Hoping For House Arrest After Vehicular Homicide

After running over Terry Carter with his SUV and fleeing from the alleged murder scene Suge Knight is hoping a judge will buy his claim that he is not a flight risk.

Suge Knight is many things: godfather of gangster rap, worst boss ever and piss poor driver.

Now add optimist and comedian to the list.

After allegedly murdering Terry Carter with his SUV and speeding away from the accident, Suge Knight is hoping a judge will buy the fact that he is not a flight risk — no joke.

Suge Knight’s lawyer, Matthew Fletcher will be requesting that his 6’3?, 315 pound client be able to relax in his home as opposed to being confined to a jail cell until his trial. This request of course is as plausible as Lindsay Lohan driving for Uber, hiring Gary Busey to give your commencement speech, or hiring Adrian Peterson to babysit.

Look, we can all be for ‘innocent until proven guilty’ but when there is a video that shows you driving over two guys and killing one, it almost seems like a waste of resources to have a trial. Especially, if you flee the scene.

Why not let Suge chill at home? Probably because it will be far simpler to intimidate the witnesses or nuke the neighborhood where the scene of the crime took place. Fletcher’s argument to the judge is expected to be that he defends Mexican gang lords and he gets them bail.

Death Row Records sounds a lot cooler than Home Detention with a Monitoring Bracelet On Records, but apparently in real life some ‘gangstas’ aren’t so hard.

Great, Suge is going to try to kill me.

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2 Comments

  1. Wait hold up. Did you just call suge knight the “godfather of gangsta rap”? LOOOOOL. First time hearing that one. Sorry but that title has already been held by eazy-e for over 20 years now and is indisputable

  2. Rest in peace Godfather of Gangsta rap Eazy muthafukkin E!!!

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