X-Raided Authentic Article - 06/10/2009 - why I write
Authentic Article - 06/10/2009 - why I write
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Yeah, yeah; I know. Where have I been? It’s a long story. The short version is, I’ve been working. Lots to report. Before I get into it, I want to express something to everyone.
The reason I blog is because of my desire to get things off of my chest. Writing is theraputic for me. That's why I've written so many songs over the years. When I write, most of the time, I'm expressing whatever's going on inside of my heart, mind or spirit, maybe all three sometimes. Who knows? Life is full of ups and downs without adding something as difficult as being incarcerated to the mix. I will have good days and bad days, just like anyone else. When I write, it releases pressure that would otherwise build up without an outlet and maybe show itself in less than positive ways.
I don't know how everyone feels about my blogs, in terms of image and what "X-Raided" should and shouldn't say. What I do know, however, is that I am not seeking anyone's approval or disapproval, nor their permission or prohibition. I am simply writing what I think and feel on any given day and you just so happen to be privy to it. Whether I write it or not, I feel the way I feel at any given moment. I don't want anyone trying to tell me what I'm supposed to feel or think, what I'm supposed to say or do. I don't want that for any of you either.
I look at this on two fronts. One, it's called the Authentic Article because it is authentic. I am authentic. I have no desire to be contrived. I just want to do me, from day to day, and enjoy that as the reality of my experience. Secondly, there's that little thing they call my constitutional right to freedom of speech, which has no stipulation as to the quality, frequency or anyone's approval of my speech. So here's a thought I wish to share with anyone who has ever shared an unsolicited opinion about what I think, feel, do or say: Let me do me. Leave me be. I got this.
I look around and see men who have life in prison, some who have only a year to do; what a lot of them have in common is their complete and utter lack of any acknowledgment of their existence from the outside world. Whether that is something they deserve is a debate for another time. My observation here is only that they are in essence dead men to people outside of these walls. No mail, no visits, no answered calls, no packages, no canteen.
I wrote about that in the lyrics to Acid Rain. "Buried in penitentiary cells/ Coldhearted/ Alive but dearly departed in ya memory cells."
Being in essence dead to the world. I've seen it. I've been it. There was a time when I went to the hole after being investigated for introducing contraband into the institution. Almost everyone vanished. The only people who wrote were fans. Friends and family, everyone else was gone. It's very different for me, of course. I had money the whole time, so I kind of just enjoyed it. I vanished. Spent a couple of years just reading and working out.
What I learned during that time was that it is very much possible to fall off of the face of the earth in prison, because life goes on. People move on with their experiences. Perfectly reasonable thing.
My epiphany was that I didn't want that to happen to me. A bunch of reasons why. I feel like it's such a waste of potentially powerful examples for others to follow. Maybe even examples of resiliency and perseverance.
Yet even more than that, there is my desire for this world to remember me for something more. Something more than banging, something more than rap, something more than prison. Whatever that more may be, I want it to be honest.
So this ain't no image I'm pushing at you. Shame on anyone who would suggest such a thing for me to ever be concerned about. This is not about image,it is about honesty. It's about having a voice that speaks truthfully. Like, dislike, hate or love it.
I am very much a strategic person. Very calculating. What the math has revealed to me is that what is missing from the game; what's missing from the G-Code, is honesty. So that's what's up. It's convenient for me because I don't like work. It takes too much effort to lie and pretend. Much easier to just exist and speak from where one stands. Due to that fact, I present to you, every time I blog, the truth of me. This is my life, good, bad and ugly. If it's difficult for anyone to read, just imagine what's it's like to live it.
I've been working on a book for yall. Something I think everyone will dig. I'll be done with it sometime soon. I'm really, really doing it.
I got a copy of Eternally Unforgiven, threw it in the JVC and ... I loved it. I think the thing about it is that it was only half of a whole. When we started, we weren't making Eternally Unforgiven the EP, we were making Unforgiven 2. We ended the album after Ice Cold because we had to. It's like if a movie ended at the half-way mark. You would have seen enough to know the movie was good, but you still would feel as though something was missing. That's how I felt. I love Filthy Rich, he's my dude for life. He did a good job, working in the blind, trying to feel his way out. It had to be hard for him, trying to figure out what I wanted while still trying to express his talents as well. I love Assisted Suicide. Acid Rain. and Ice Cold. I like Still Can't C Me. too. I bump that third verse over and over, where the breakdown is. Rhyme for rhyme, I'm on another planet. I like that I'm in my own lane. I'm not doing what anyone else is doing, I'm doing X. Rich's beats are doing Rich. This is our thing, instead of it being whatever is working for the locals.
Since Eternally Unforgiven. we've been working on Unforgiven 2 for the last four months and we're finally done. All of the music is done, all of the rhymes are done, now we're just mixing and mastering and we'll turn it in. The artwork is being done right now, by Kenneth of Hellrazor Graphics.
I wish things would speed up. honestly. but I always feel that way. The ultimate goal is for the artwork to look great, and the CD to sound great, so as long as it's done before it has to be. I realize it's just me being impatient.
The lyrics and beats on TUV2: Assisted Suicide are phenomenal. You guys are going to be shocked. This thing will be an instant classic. We made the best album of my career. The beats and rhymes are the best I have ever done. Anyone who is a true x-Raided fan, this is the album you have been waiting for. We hit a homerun.
Besides that, I've just been kickin' it with the homies. Young Moe moved over here to 5 building with me. I'm grooming him to be the future of Bloc Star. As long as he stays out of trouble when he goes home, he can do it. He is dope enough to be the new voice for us.
We gave deals to C-Dubb and Gangsta Reese, and I signed RAW, who produced Macaframa and Mortal Combat, plus The Evil That men Do from the Nefarious project. As soon as we wrap TUV2:AS, we're going to do a project that involves all of the new signees. I'm looking forward to working with them. We aren't just going to throw their projects out, Rich and I will be working hands on with each artist. We'll go just as hard on their albums as we do on mine.
Other than that. I've been watching the NBA Finals (Lakeeeers!!!) and ... chillin.
It's gonna be a good year, fam. We're set to win and I'm rather pleased with how things are going.
before I bounce, what up to: Jimmy Rodriguez (Odessa. TX); Jimel Metcalf (MN); Reynaldo Hernandez; Larry De Los Angeles (Stockton); Brandon Funk (KS); Young Jay (Charlo, MT); Beto (Sac-Toooown!); Zakk (Mesquite. TX); and Robert with the Psycho Actitve era X-Raided pic tattooed on his back. That shit is dope!
Payce!
NXR
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=30088170&blogID=496338384
Authentic Article - 06/10/2009 - why I write
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Yeah, yeah; I know. Where have I been? It’s a long story. The short version is, I’ve been working. Lots to report. Before I get into it, I want to express something to everyone.
The reason I blog is because of my desire to get things off of my chest. Writing is theraputic for me. That's why I've written so many songs over the years. When I write, most of the time, I'm expressing whatever's going on inside of my heart, mind or spirit, maybe all three sometimes. Who knows? Life is full of ups and downs without adding something as difficult as being incarcerated to the mix. I will have good days and bad days, just like anyone else. When I write, it releases pressure that would otherwise build up without an outlet and maybe show itself in less than positive ways.
I don't know how everyone feels about my blogs, in terms of image and what "X-Raided" should and shouldn't say. What I do know, however, is that I am not seeking anyone's approval or disapproval, nor their permission or prohibition. I am simply writing what I think and feel on any given day and you just so happen to be privy to it. Whether I write it or not, I feel the way I feel at any given moment. I don't want anyone trying to tell me what I'm supposed to feel or think, what I'm supposed to say or do. I don't want that for any of you either.
I look at this on two fronts. One, it's called the Authentic Article because it is authentic. I am authentic. I have no desire to be contrived. I just want to do me, from day to day, and enjoy that as the reality of my experience. Secondly, there's that little thing they call my constitutional right to freedom of speech, which has no stipulation as to the quality, frequency or anyone's approval of my speech. So here's a thought I wish to share with anyone who has ever shared an unsolicited opinion about what I think, feel, do or say: Let me do me. Leave me be. I got this.
I look around and see men who have life in prison, some who have only a year to do; what a lot of them have in common is their complete and utter lack of any acknowledgment of their existence from the outside world. Whether that is something they deserve is a debate for another time. My observation here is only that they are in essence dead men to people outside of these walls. No mail, no visits, no answered calls, no packages, no canteen.
I wrote about that in the lyrics to Acid Rain. "Buried in penitentiary cells/ Coldhearted/ Alive but dearly departed in ya memory cells."
Being in essence dead to the world. I've seen it. I've been it. There was a time when I went to the hole after being investigated for introducing contraband into the institution. Almost everyone vanished. The only people who wrote were fans. Friends and family, everyone else was gone. It's very different for me, of course. I had money the whole time, so I kind of just enjoyed it. I vanished. Spent a couple of years just reading and working out.
What I learned during that time was that it is very much possible to fall off of the face of the earth in prison, because life goes on. People move on with their experiences. Perfectly reasonable thing.
My epiphany was that I didn't want that to happen to me. A bunch of reasons why. I feel like it's such a waste of potentially powerful examples for others to follow. Maybe even examples of resiliency and perseverance.
Yet even more than that, there is my desire for this world to remember me for something more. Something more than banging, something more than rap, something more than prison. Whatever that more may be, I want it to be honest.
So this ain't no image I'm pushing at you. Shame on anyone who would suggest such a thing for me to ever be concerned about. This is not about image,it is about honesty. It's about having a voice that speaks truthfully. Like, dislike, hate or love it.
I am very much a strategic person. Very calculating. What the math has revealed to me is that what is missing from the game; what's missing from the G-Code, is honesty. So that's what's up. It's convenient for me because I don't like work. It takes too much effort to lie and pretend. Much easier to just exist and speak from where one stands. Due to that fact, I present to you, every time I blog, the truth of me. This is my life, good, bad and ugly. If it's difficult for anyone to read, just imagine what's it's like to live it.
I've been working on a book for yall. Something I think everyone will dig. I'll be done with it sometime soon. I'm really, really doing it.
I got a copy of Eternally Unforgiven, threw it in the JVC and ... I loved it. I think the thing about it is that it was only half of a whole. When we started, we weren't making Eternally Unforgiven the EP, we were making Unforgiven 2. We ended the album after Ice Cold because we had to. It's like if a movie ended at the half-way mark. You would have seen enough to know the movie was good, but you still would feel as though something was missing. That's how I felt. I love Filthy Rich, he's my dude for life. He did a good job, working in the blind, trying to feel his way out. It had to be hard for him, trying to figure out what I wanted while still trying to express his talents as well. I love Assisted Suicide. Acid Rain. and Ice Cold. I like Still Can't C Me. too. I bump that third verse over and over, where the breakdown is. Rhyme for rhyme, I'm on another planet. I like that I'm in my own lane. I'm not doing what anyone else is doing, I'm doing X. Rich's beats are doing Rich. This is our thing, instead of it being whatever is working for the locals.
Since Eternally Unforgiven. we've been working on Unforgiven 2 for the last four months and we're finally done. All of the music is done, all of the rhymes are done, now we're just mixing and mastering and we'll turn it in. The artwork is being done right now, by Kenneth of Hellrazor Graphics.
I wish things would speed up. honestly. but I always feel that way. The ultimate goal is for the artwork to look great, and the CD to sound great, so as long as it's done before it has to be. I realize it's just me being impatient.
The lyrics and beats on TUV2: Assisted Suicide are phenomenal. You guys are going to be shocked. This thing will be an instant classic. We made the best album of my career. The beats and rhymes are the best I have ever done. Anyone who is a true x-Raided fan, this is the album you have been waiting for. We hit a homerun.
Besides that, I've just been kickin' it with the homies. Young Moe moved over here to 5 building with me. I'm grooming him to be the future of Bloc Star. As long as he stays out of trouble when he goes home, he can do it. He is dope enough to be the new voice for us.
We gave deals to C-Dubb and Gangsta Reese, and I signed RAW, who produced Macaframa and Mortal Combat, plus The Evil That men Do from the Nefarious project. As soon as we wrap TUV2:AS, we're going to do a project that involves all of the new signees. I'm looking forward to working with them. We aren't just going to throw their projects out, Rich and I will be working hands on with each artist. We'll go just as hard on their albums as we do on mine.
Other than that. I've been watching the NBA Finals (Lakeeeers!!!) and ... chillin.
It's gonna be a good year, fam. We're set to win and I'm rather pleased with how things are going.
before I bounce, what up to: Jimmy Rodriguez (Odessa. TX); Jimel Metcalf (MN); Reynaldo Hernandez; Larry De Los Angeles (Stockton); Brandon Funk (KS); Young Jay (Charlo, MT); Beto (Sac-Toooown!); Zakk (Mesquite. TX); and Robert with the Psycho Actitve era X-Raided pic tattooed on his back. That shit is dope!
Payce!
NXR
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=30088170&blogID=496338384
