http://www.news-journal.com/news/newsfd/auto/feed/news/2002/11/21/1037856026.03162.8221.2870.html
You got to hand it to those wacky Texans. But what you hand them had better not be a rubber penis or you’re going to the County Hotel.
WHITE OAK — A Longview woman who sells sex toys has been charged with felony obscenity after White Oak police found some of her wares in her car during a traffic stop
The arrest report describes the 17 items as "obscene materials and obscene devices," but Police Chief Charlie Smith said the items were mostly lotions and objects defined in a dictionary as having the shape and often the appearance of the male genitalia, used in sexual stimulation.
Now had this perverted but fun-loving lady had 17 assorted guns in her car, the White Oak cops would have just waved her through. Perhaps the Texas cops can spin this as a public safety issue. I mean the woman might have been distracting herself with all those dildos while she was driving. Or what if instead of giving the bird to some other driver, she leaned out the window and waved a titanic rubber penis at him?
Kathleen Elizabeth "Kathy" Grubbs, a distributor for the national company Slumber Parties Inc., calls the charge, which carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail, "kind of ridiculous."
State law appears a little less forgiving: It's illegal to "wholesale promote" obscene materials or devices. Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ or an item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs. The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them.
Darn Tooting! The Lone Star state has every right to protect its citizens from having their genital organs stimulated. And a two-year jail sentence for promoting genital stimulation seems about right to any decent person. Nobody, absolutely nobody in the state of Texas wants to have their genitals stimulated. Nobody except for a small number of perverts and Longhorns fans who the authorities are dealing with.
In April, Kilgore police raided the Adult Book Store/Video Store at 1907 Industrial Blvd., seizing 12 large trash bags full of devices police said were being sold illegally. The raid came after an undercover officer visited the shop twice before the raid, making at least one purchase. An 11-page inventory compiled by police estimated the materials were worth $19,082. The sexual devices on the 11-page inventory ranged in price from a "Climax Band" that sold for $5.95 to a "Wild and Crazy Tickler" for $11.95; a "Hyper Sonic G" for $69.95; a "Plush Playmate" for $89.95; and a "Cyber Sexploration Kit" for $44.95.
I have no goddamn idea what a “Climax Band” or a “Wild and Crazy Tickler” is. And I don’t want to. And huge props to the Texas cops for making damn sure that the decent people in the decent state are protected from having their climaxes banded or being wildly and crazily tickled.
Dildo merchants beware! The eyes of Texas are upon you!
You got to hand it to those wacky Texans. But what you hand them had better not be a rubber penis or you’re going to the County Hotel.
WHITE OAK — A Longview woman who sells sex toys has been charged with felony obscenity after White Oak police found some of her wares in her car during a traffic stop
The arrest report describes the 17 items as "obscene materials and obscene devices," but Police Chief Charlie Smith said the items were mostly lotions and objects defined in a dictionary as having the shape and often the appearance of the male genitalia, used in sexual stimulation.
Now had this perverted but fun-loving lady had 17 assorted guns in her car, the White Oak cops would have just waved her through. Perhaps the Texas cops can spin this as a public safety issue. I mean the woman might have been distracting herself with all those dildos while she was driving. Or what if instead of giving the bird to some other driver, she leaned out the window and waved a titanic rubber penis at him?
Kathleen Elizabeth "Kathy" Grubbs, a distributor for the national company Slumber Parties Inc., calls the charge, which carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail, "kind of ridiculous."
State law appears a little less forgiving: It's illegal to "wholesale promote" obscene materials or devices. Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ or an item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs. The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them.
Darn Tooting! The Lone Star state has every right to protect its citizens from having their genital organs stimulated. And a two-year jail sentence for promoting genital stimulation seems about right to any decent person. Nobody, absolutely nobody in the state of Texas wants to have their genitals stimulated. Nobody except for a small number of perverts and Longhorns fans who the authorities are dealing with.
In April, Kilgore police raided the Adult Book Store/Video Store at 1907 Industrial Blvd., seizing 12 large trash bags full of devices police said were being sold illegally. The raid came after an undercover officer visited the shop twice before the raid, making at least one purchase. An 11-page inventory compiled by police estimated the materials were worth $19,082. The sexual devices on the 11-page inventory ranged in price from a "Climax Band" that sold for $5.95 to a "Wild and Crazy Tickler" for $11.95; a "Hyper Sonic G" for $69.95; a "Plush Playmate" for $89.95; and a "Cyber Sexploration Kit" for $44.95.
I have no goddamn idea what a “Climax Band” or a “Wild and Crazy Tickler” is. And I don’t want to. And huge props to the Texas cops for making damn sure that the decent people in the decent state are protected from having their climaxes banded or being wildly and crazily tickled.
Dildo merchants beware! The eyes of Texas are upon you!
